Blackswanwood
Still Learning
I think you missed it JimJay.
She has extropia so her eyes point outwards so it would be impossible to make eye contact.
Joke Thread II
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She has extropia so her eyes point outwards so it would be impossible to make eye contact.
Blackswanwood
Still Learning
Alex H
Established Member
Not true - it would be impossible to make eyes contact....
Jacob is the cabinet maker well he would be if he was PM
The_Yellow_Ardvark
Established Member
Unless the person having sex with her also had extropia.
They would see eye to eye then.
flying haggis
Established Member
I started a new job today parcel delivery for evri, at my first drop the homeowner had left a note saying we're out so hide in the bin.
I'm still hiding I'm hungry and it's dark, help!
I'm still hiding I'm hungry and it's dark, help!
Doug B
Shy Tot
sploo
Somewhat extinguished member
Blackswanwood
Still Learning
RIP Rik
Jaco
Established Member
stuart little
Established Member
Bye,Bye, everyone!
Blackswanwood
Still Learning
Cozzer
Established Member
selectortone
Still waking up not dead in the morning
flying haggis
Established Member
Doug B
Shy Tot
The Irony
Cozzer
Established Member
Wife, at the Sunday breakfast table. She's playing thoughtfully with her breakfast cereal, and gazing occasionally at her lower legs, stretching out from under her silk dressing gown.
"Not bad", she thinks. Could do with a bit more of a tan, but still shapely.
"Chris..", she purrs.
"Mmmmmm?" replies Chris from behind his newspaper.
"Do you think I'm showing my age?"
Chris turns over a page, without putting the paper down.
"You still look 21 to me, dear..."
Silence for a few seconds.
"But it's important that I don't lose my looks, and have you wandering off, isn't it?"
"If you say so, dear..."answered Chris, now reading yesterday's football results.
"Well, you know Mandy next door...she's had a **** job, and claims that Bob is a new man with her..he's like an animal in bed...."
"Right. Interesting. By the way, I'm playing golf with Brian on Tuesday..."
The page is turned again.
"Well, I was thinking...we could afford the op, couldn't we? I mean, you used to like my breasts, didn't you?"
"I see Sheffield Wednesday won again..."
This stunted conversation carried on for another 20 minutes.
Eventually, Chris put the paper down.
"Look...we can't afford it. Stop mithering. Neither of us are in our 20s any more. It doesn't matter..."
But his wife continued in the same manner, until Chris finally broke.
"Look! Here's a cheap alternative! Grab some toilet roll every day, and rub your cleavage with it for about 5 minutes! After a month or two you might find that your breasts are bigger..."
"Really?! Would it really make my breasts large?!"
"Well", replied Chris, lifting the newspaper again, "It certainly worked that way on your ar5e..."
"Not bad", she thinks. Could do with a bit more of a tan, but still shapely.
"Chris..", she purrs.
"Mmmmmm?" replies Chris from behind his newspaper.
"Do you think I'm showing my age?"
Chris turns over a page, without putting the paper down.
"You still look 21 to me, dear..."
Silence for a few seconds.
"But it's important that I don't lose my looks, and have you wandering off, isn't it?"
"If you say so, dear..."answered Chris, now reading yesterday's football results.
"Well, you know Mandy next door...she's had a **** job, and claims that Bob is a new man with her..he's like an animal in bed...."
"Right. Interesting. By the way, I'm playing golf with Brian on Tuesday..."
The page is turned again.
"Well, I was thinking...we could afford the op, couldn't we? I mean, you used to like my breasts, didn't you?"
"I see Sheffield Wednesday won again..."
This stunted conversation carried on for another 20 minutes.
Eventually, Chris put the paper down.
"Look...we can't afford it. Stop mithering. Neither of us are in our 20s any more. It doesn't matter..."
But his wife continued in the same manner, until Chris finally broke.
"Look! Here's a cheap alternative! Grab some toilet roll every day, and rub your cleavage with it for about 5 minutes! After a month or two you might find that your breasts are bigger..."
"Really?! Would it really make my breasts large?!"
"Well", replied Chris, lifting the newspaper again, "It certainly worked that way on your ar5e..."
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