Joke Thread 4 (closed).

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Doesn't really work in a speech bubble context, but even if it did, it's not as good as the one about the Yorkshireman whose wife died, and he ordered a nice bit of granite with the simple inscription "Lord, she was thine".
He was dismayed when it was delivered as "Lord, she was thin", and told the mason he'd left off the "e".
I think you can guess what happened next.
 
A funny for woodworkers;

Jesus was walking around Heaven one day. In a small, secluded garden He saw an old man, crying. Alarmed, Jesus ran up to him and said, “Hey, now, what’s all this? This is paradise. There should be no tears or sorrow.”

The old man wiped away his tears and said, “Oh, I know. I’m sorry. But… well, many years ago, a son came to me through… well, let’s say ‘mysterious circumstances’. After many trials he went through a miraculous transformation, and a book was written about him that became known the world over. I thought I would find him here, but I haven’t. I’m afraid I’ll never see him again.”

Wide-eyed, Jesus looked at the man and said, “Wait a minute… You weren’t, by any chance… a carpenter, were you?”

The man looked up in surprise. “Why, yes. Yes, I was!”

Jesus burst into tears of joy and held out His arms saying, “Father!”

The man cocked his head doubtfully and said, “Pinocchio???”
 
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I remember watching some coverage from some warzone, where the correspondent from another channel dived out of shot in response to an explosion that was clearly some distance away. Over to the Beeb and Orla Guerin is reporting from inside the shell of a building. Couple of guys in the background letting go through a hole in the wall with a heavy machine gun, the lots of shouting and incoming rounds hitting the wall a few feet away. Didn't turn a hair and just carried on. A lady with some serious grit.
 
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