How do you give 100%

[MARK.B.]

What does it mean to give 100% at work?
What does it mean to give more than 100%?
We have all been to meetings where some one wants you to give over 100% effort?
We have all been to meetings where someone has given that 100% and over.
How is this achieved and can some one work out who is giving that 100% effort and who is not?

Scientist have come up with a formula to help work out how much effort is being achieved.

if a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z

is represented with 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26

Then the following is easy to work out

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11= 98%

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E= 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4=5 = 100%

and

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T= 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND look how far ass kissing will get you

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G = 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7= 127%

so to conclude, with mathematical certainty, that while hard work and knowledge will get you close and attitude will get you there, its the bullshit and the asskissing that will put you over the top.


P.S next time you are in a serious meeting and someone says they give more than 100% effort try not to laugh because you now know how they got there.

 

[MMUK]

:lol:

 

[Jamesc]

Nice one, I can sooo relate to it

 

[themackay]

Unfortuanatly so true

 

[Preston]

Very good!

 

[ChrisR]

Very good, never have more accurate words been spoken/written. =D> :lol:

Take care.

Chris R.

 

[joethedrummer]

I think it only works below the age of 65,, "cos I just put in RETIRED an" got a score of 75,,,,that"s got to be wrong.
Just had loads of laughs putting in occupations,,,

 

[Cheshirechappie]

After many years of working in a large and rather heirachical organisation, all I can say is, "Many a true word spoken in jest".

 

[RossJarvis]

Bearing in mind that the Education Secretary wants all schools to be "above average", I think we can see where the problem might be coming from.

http://www.leftfootforward.org/2013/10/ ... -averages/

 

[pip1954]

hi all i have never met a boss who does any wear near 100% one rule for them and one for the rest :lol:
now where have i heard that before o yer MPs (hammer)
roll on retirement :mrgreen:
pip :deer

 

[RossJarvis]

hi all i have never met a boss who does any wear near 100% one rule for them and one for the rest :lol:
now where have i heard that before o yer MPs (hammer)
roll on retirement :mrgreen:
pip :deer

Yes they do, 110% of their time in meetings, 47% of their time telling everyone else what to do, and 94% of their time counting their money!! The last 33% of their time must be worrying about whether anyone will find out how c**p they are in general and at maths in particular.