Ironically perhaps, this thread has made me re-evaluate the way I too have falsely presented myself on UKW since I joined.
I feel
shamed by my behaviour and moved to admit that I have pulled the wool so well over so many of your trusting eyes. I hope you will forgive me and in time perhaps I can come to terms with my shame, my empty existence, my deep need for the acceptance and indeed the admiration of strangers.
Perhaps (in my case) it was related to Mummy helping me fall down the stairs three times. A week. Every Month. For 14 years. Perhaps not. We'll probably never know.
If I'm honest, and if I can't be honest now when can I be, I feel most deeply shamed toward those of you who I have 'met' in real life. Andy T, that wasn't really me abseiling in Bristol when you popped by to say Hi, it was in fact a stunt double. Paddy, when you so kindly offered to plane my work bench, that too. Stunt double. Just the other day when I 'popped in' to Coote's place to pick up your generous offer of a free router table, that too. Stunt double. (Ps Coote, That wasn't even a real bottle of wine. You probably shouldn't drink that mate. Just saying.... Feel a bit guilty about that one tbh).
For those who have been generous in their time, advice and experience, those who have taken time and money to send me stuff for free, or offered to help I hang my head.
Nahhh, not really. I'm not sorry at all!
The truth is I'm not a half ars*ed bumbling amateur 'messing about in my shed' and getting stuff wrong all the time at all. I employed a team of accountants, market research/advertising gurus and specially installed a free range vegan Javan badger bum coffee stand at HQ (£19 pound a cup so not all bad then) to keep them happy. The info they (and all your posts) generated will grow the business for
years.
I'm
actually the CEO of Oakfurniturelend * You can see me in the adverts. I'm the chubber. Gold fer the price of silveeeer . Yaaaar. Yaaaaarrr mugs! Muhahahhahah!
(*note to Mods: OakFurniture
lend, that should be enough to prevent the lawsuit.....)