Things you can't dent with the spouse

[D_W]

....maybe that's an american saying "can't make a dent in".

Hopefully nothing serious here, just humorous things. My spouse is a master at adopting procedures or routines and doing them perfectly over and over. Such things make my head hurt and I get confused (different brain type).

But her spatial and analytical on-the-spot thinking - not so great.

One thing I can never make a dent in is that she believes that the colder it gets outside, the higher you need to set the thermostat. The trouble with this is that it's a thermostat, not an output meter. I cannot convince her that the thermostat will heat the spot next to the thermostat to 70 degrees if she sets it at 70 whether it's 10F or 50F outside.

The opposite is true with A/C. The whole system for the main house is either on or off. She believes that the higher or lower you set the needle if you want a quick change in temp, the faster and harder the system will run. I cannot convince her otherwise, probably because wives tend to trust answers only from people they're not married to.

Anyone here have anything they can't make a dent in with the spouse?

 

[gregmcateer]

Identical.

Plus, she will not believe me that just running up and down the stairs, or step ups etc WILL warm her up. Chocolate won't

 

[artie]

There has been more than one heated debate regarding thermostats.

I eventually gave up.

 

[Doug B]

Trying to make her understand that her credit card limit isn’t a goal to try & get close to each month.

 

[Phil Pascoe]

If you think thermostats cause problems in households, just imagine the problems they cause in hotels, where there's scarcely a day someone doesn't fiddle with them (usually female staff).

 

[doctor Bob]

Suggesting to her that it's not great practice to throw away keys from your keyring, just because they don't fit anything.

18 months later, puncture on M4 ......................
Me: "where are the keys for the locking wheel nuts"
Her: "what would they look like?"
Me: Round with a hole in the middle
Her: arhhhhhhh, ohhhh dear.

 

[dzj]

https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news...nd-thermostat-awareness-course-20171012137386

 

[AJB Temple]

None of the women I have ever had a serious relationship with believe that sharp kitchen knives are safer than blunt ones.

 

[Rorschach]

My partner is far more intelligent than me, but certainly lacks in the common sense department. Luckily we do not have thermostat issues, she fully understands how they work. We have certainly had arguments over other issues though like how to get hot water from the boiler.

 

[mikej460]

With mine it's that old fashioned fear of not putting enough water in a kettle for one or tea cups of tea in case the element blows. So the kettle gets filled right up and no amount of moaning or electricity bill waving will convince her to fill it to the 2 cup level.

 

[D_W]

Identical.

Plus, she will not believe me that just running up and down the stairs, or step ups etc WILL warm her up. Chocolate won't

Same problem here. Spouse comes in from a walk "why is it so warm in the house", immediately opens windows and criticizes everyone else. I point to the thermostat thermometer - no dice.

half hour later - "did you turn the heat down?" (no, you turned it off when you believed the inanimate thermostat thermometer was moody).

She also believes the rumor that her friends peddle - "if you use a room one day and then use it the next, it takes less energy to heat it the entire time than it does to warm it for part of a day and then part of the next day".

I cannot get her to believe that's not true.

Lastly - an add-on to the house is heated by min split, though if you leave the door open, it'll never get below about 60F. She instead closes the door overnight (for fear that someone can see through to the main area, I don't really get this either -so what?), and then in the morning, closes the door again after turning on the split system. I ask her why she does that - "just leave the door open, it will heat faster with a combination of main area air and the heat pump running".

in her mind, the heat pump loses its heat into the main house without heating the room it's in and thus the door must be closed or it won't heat the room.

 

[D_W]

Suggesting to her that it's not great practice to throw away keys from your keyring, just because they don't fit anything.

18 months later, puncture on M4 ......................
Me: "where are the keys for the locking wheel nuts"
Her: "what would they look like?"
Me: Round with a hole in the middle
Her: arhhhhhhh, ohhhh dear.

Spouse is also a throw-away artist. Device cords that are proprietary ("that must be an old phone cord, it doesn't fit my phone and I know i've seen it for years")

Yes, it's the proprietary USB cord for the portable harddrive that has both our PC backups on it as well as all of your old photos.

"oh, I threw the cord away".

Awesome.

Also, the "you had two of these, so I threw one of them away". Ok, they were different items that looked similar, one was a portable phone charger (battery) and the other was a compact external harddrive. They are both black, the same size, have cords.

Not the same item.

 

[D_W]

None of the women I have ever had a serious relationship with believe that sharp kitchen knives are safer than blunt ones.

If my wife ever reads this board, she will send it to my MIL and I will be deceased within two days.

But...

....MIL attempted to cut a carton with a dull knife (they are terrified of my knives, and the ones in the block are not that sharp - they're just steeled), slipped due to the great force involved and drive the knife into the back of a finger. permanent damage, that finger now stays straight.

I get regular lectures about the damage that a knife could do with the visual proof, but the thing the MIL was doing (cutting the proof-of-opening ring off of a carton would've been done just by turning one of my knives until the ring was in tension against the blade, and I wouldn't have cut it, anyway).

Despite having 10 functioning fingers and unlimited sharper items in the shop, I cannot make any progress on this one. The few knives that my wife has in the block that I agree not to sharpen are agonizing to use - they can barely cut an orange peel with just the tip. They are splitting tools at this point, like a knife shaped maul.

 

[Ozi]

We have a joint account but our credit card balances must be kept as equal as possible or we are spending too much, we pay them off each month but to SHMBO £300 + £300 good, £100 + £500 bad and if mine is the high one I'm in trouble no brownie points for having done all the shopping!

 

[akirk]

None of the women I have ever had a serious relationship with believe that sharp kitchen knives are safer than blunt ones.

Fortunately my wife does get it, but being a surgeon means she has far more expensive and fun tools at work then I will ever have in the workshop!

 

[Jameshow]

Fortunately my wife does get it, but being a surgeon means she has far more expensive and fun tools at work then I will ever have in the workshop!

I think it's usually us in the dog house!

Mine's a GP and never wrong. I don't think they are capable of making mistakes and certainly not able to apologise!

Cheers James

 

[Jelly]

None of the women I have ever had a serious relationship with believe that sharp kitchen knives are safer than blunt ones.

My partner was finally disabused of this notion during lockdown, not by a knife but with scissors...

She's always had very long hair, and after about 8 months without a haircut, began to tire of pulling her own hair every time she sat down without thinking; so purchased some cheap naff hairdressing scissors to use for a DIY trim.

First attempt was a disaster, but a bit of sharpening on the scissors (absolute bugger to do, partially because scissors, partially because terribly badly made) and she achieved more success than I think she had believed would be possible...

All went something like this:

"These must be duff, I can't control them, they just won't cut straight"

"Try cutting some paper to see if they feel sharp."

"They barely cut paper, definitely no good"

"Hang on, before you chuck them, let me have a crack at sharpening them"

[Sharpening happens with much cursing involved]

"Try now."

"Ooooh, Oooh it's worked! I can actually get them to cut where I want! This is much better!"

[A remarkably neat haircut is done]

"You know how those scissors were easier to control when you sharpened them... Is that what you've been banging on about with the kitchen knives?"

[Nodding]

[Realisation]
​

 

[Robbo60]

Trying to make her understand that her credit card limit isn’t a goal to try & get close to each month.

Someone stole my wife's credit card - didn't report it for 3 months as they were spending a lot less than she did

 

[Auldfart2010]

None of the women I have ever had a serious relationship with believe that sharp kitchen knives are safer than blunt ones.

Ditto

 

[Amateur]

Every since I won December's lottery of £35,000,000 my partner walks round the house in a nurses uniform, changes into fishnets and red high heels at lunch time and sits topless during the six o'clock news.
I don't Get any sleep at night as her demands last for hours.
Do you think she's after the money and trying to kill me.?
She's 26 and I'm 70.
I can't go on much longer.
Please help.

PS I don't think she's interested in blunt knives