Jokes 2

[chiba]

(Probably a repost, but what the heck)

Explaining Men's Tools:

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat
metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and
flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that
freshly-stained heirloom piece you were drying.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere
under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and
hard-earned guitar callouses from fingers in about the time it takes you to
say, "YEOWW S**T...."

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their
holes until you die of old age.

SKIL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation
of blood-blisters. The most often tool used by all women.

BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor
touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija Board
principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion,
and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your
future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt
heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer
intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

WELDING GLOVES: Heavy duty leather gloves used to prolong the
conduction of intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various
flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease
inside the wheel hub you want the bearing race out of.

WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and
motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or 1/2
inch socket you've been searching for the last 45 minutes.

TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood
projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground
after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle
firmly under the bumper.

EIGHT-FOOT LONG YELLOW PINE 2X4: Used for levering an automobile
upward off of a trapped hydraulic jack handle.

TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters and wire wheel wires.

E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool ten times harder than any
known drill bit that snaps neatly off in bolt holes thereby ending any
possible future use.

RADIAL ARM SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most
shops to scare neophytes into choosing another line of work.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength
of everything you forgot to disconnect.

CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 24-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A very large pry bar that
inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end opposite
the handle.

AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw

TROUBLE LIGHT: The home mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called
a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin,"
which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, its
main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that
105mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the
Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat
misleading.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under
lids and for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on
your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips
screw heads. Women excel at using this tool.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to
convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws.

AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning
power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that
travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts
which were last over tightened 30 years ago by someone at Ford, and
instantly rounds off their heads. Also used to quickly snap off lug nuts.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or
bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is
used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent
the object we are trying to hit. Women primarily use it to make gaping holes
in walls when hanging pictures.

MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of
cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on
contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector
magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for
slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

DAMMIT TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling "DAMMIT" at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.

---

 

[promhandicam]

Chiba - thanks for that! It is soooo true - I think my favourite is the Electric Hand Drill. It is a long time since I laughed so much at one of these jokes. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Steve

 

[woodbloke]

Chiba wrote:

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat
metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and
flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that
freshly-stained heirloom piece you were drying.

Don't remind me . I was once drilling a large lump of metal to enlarge a 6mm hole to about 10mm, didn't have it cramped to the table. Trouble is I was doing this in a class full of kids who were writing. The bit snatched the metal of the drill press table and sent it whistling about 12' across the workshop narrowly missing the back of a kids head by about 2" :shock: The workshop gods were certainly smiling on me that day - Rob

 

[DomValente]

A man was driving down the road and ran out of fuel. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window.
The bee said, "What seems to be the problem"?
"I'm out of fuel."
The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out.

"Try it now," said one bee.
The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. "Wow!" the man exclaimed. "What did you put in my gas tank"?

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The bee answered,"BeePee."

 

[Steve Maskery]

I once got a bee up my nose. I was riding a moped (top speed 28mph, downhill with the wind behind me) and was wearing a cork-and-canvass helmet, c.1957. No, this was not in 1957, but mid-70's I suppose.

I was rising along and the bee went stright up my right nostril. I stopped (well, you would, wouldn't you, with a bee buzzing about inside your head), blew it out and off he buzzed, apparently none the worse for his experience.

Strange but true.
S

 

[Jaco]

An Italian, a Frenchman and an Indian was drinking at a bar discussing
what they had done the previous evening.
The Italian says: "Last night I massaged my wife all over her body
with
the finest olive oil, then we made passionate love and I made her
scream
non stop for five minutes."
The Frenchman says: "Last night I massaged my wife all over her body
with a special aphrodisiac oil, then we made passionate love. I made
her
scream for fifteen minutes straight."
The Indian says: That's nothing. Last night I massaged my wife all
over
her body with a special butter. I caressed her entire body with the
butter, then made love and I made her scream for two long hours."
The Italian and Frenchman, astonished, asked, "Two hours, phenomenal!
How did you do it to make her scream for two hours?"
Indian : "I wiped my hands on the new curtains."

 

[tiler99]

A man enters a confessional and says to the Irish Priest, "Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I've had s*x with Fannie Green every week for the last month."

The priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go out and say three 'Hail Mary's'."

Soon, another man enters the confessional.

"Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had s*x with Fannie Green twice a week for the last two months."

This time the priest asks, "Who is this Fannie Green?"

"A new woman in the neighbourhood," the sinner replies.

Very well," says the priest. "Go and say ten 'Hail Mary's'."

The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his sermon when a gorgeous, slim , redheaded woman enters the church. All the men's eyes fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down in front of the Altar. Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes.

The priest and altar boy gasp as the woman sits down with her legs slightly spread apart, Sharon Stone-style.

The priest turns to the altar boy and whisperingly asks, "Is that Fannie Green?"

The altar boy replies, ....

"No Father, I think it's just the reflection off her shoes".

 

[Freetochat]

"Bless me Father, for I

have sinned. I have been with a loose girl".

The priest asks, "Is that you, Johnny Byrne?"

"Yes, Father, it is."

"And who was the girl you were with?"

"I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Mary Walsh?"

"I cannot say."

"Was it Teresa Brown?"

"I'll never tell."

"Was it Margaret Doyle?"

"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."

"Was it Anne O' Neil?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Catherine 0' Tool, then?"

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped Johnny, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."

Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Tommy slides over and whispers, “What'd you get?"

Four months holiday and five good leads."

 

[Jaco]

Harold is 95 and lives in a Senior Citizen Home. Every night after
dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the center to sit and ponder
his accomplishments and long life. One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders
into the garden. They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours
have passed

After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and
asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"

She asks, "What?"

"***!!" he replies.

Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart. You couldn't get it up if I held a
gun to your head!"

"I know," Harold says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it
for a while."

"Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his
manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly
each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would
hold Harold's manhood.

Then one night Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place.
Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was okay. She
walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting by the
pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Harold's manhood!

Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does Ethel have that
I don't have?"
Old Harold smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's."

 

[Jaco]

you know you are south african when...




You call a bathing suit a "swimming costume"


You call a traffic light a "robot"


The employees dance in front of the building to show how unhappy they are


The SABC advertises and shows highlights of the program you just finished
watching


You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic weather


You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you've never had any .


You can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have no idea
what it means in any of them


You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Madela


You go to "braais" (barbecues) regularly, where you eat boerewors (long
meaty sausage-type thing) and swim, sometimes simultaneously


You know that there's nothing to do in the Free State


You produce a R100 note instead of your driver's licence when stopped by a
traffic officer


You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement


You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car


You can count the national soccer team's scores with no fingers


To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750


Hijacking cars is a profession


You can pay your tuition fees by holding up a sign at a traffic light


The petrol in your tank may be worth more than your car


More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election


People have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill, Pretty,
Wednesday, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift, Precious, Innocence and Given


"Now now" can mean anything from a minute to a month


You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way
for taxis travelling in the opposite direction


Travelling at 120 km/h you're the slowest vehicle on the highway


You're genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find your car parked
where you left it


A bullet train is being introduced, but we can't fix potholes


The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and toll
fees than you did for the entire holiday


You paint your car's registration on the roof


You have to take your own linen with you if you are admitted to a government
hospital


You have to prove that you don't need a loan to get one


Prisoners go on strike


You don't stop at a red traffic light, in case somebody hijacks your car


You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once


Rwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate is too
high


When 2 Afrikaans TV programmes are separated by a Xhosa announcement of the
following Afrikaans program, and a Pedi ad

 

[Jaco]

Lulu was a prostitute. One day there was a raid. All the prostitutes were lined up outside the police station as they took them in one by one.

As Lulu stood in line, she saw her Grandma coming down the street and was so ashamed. Grandma didn't know her occupation.

Grandma stopped to say hi, and asked what the line was for.

Lulu, saving face, said that the police were giving away fresh Oranges to those waiting.

Grandma said wonderful, she loved oranges and got at the end of the line.

When the policeman got to the end and saw her, he was amazed.

He said "How the heck do you do this at your age?"

She said "I just take out my teeth, rip the skin back and suck' em dry!"

The policeman fainted.

 

[Jaco]

Who Packs Your Parachute ?
Charles Plumb was a US Navy jet pilot in Vietnam. After 75 combat missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent 6 years in a communist Vietnamese prison. He survived the ordeal and now lectures on lessons learned from that experience!

One day, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant, a man at another table came up and said, "You're Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. You were shot down!"

"How in the world did you know that?" asked Plumb..

"I packed your parachute," the man replied. Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude. The man pumped his hand and said, "I guess it worked!" Plumb assured him, "It sure did. If your chute hadn't worked, I wouldn't be here today."

Plumb couldn't sleep that night, thinking about that man. Plumb says, "I kept wondering what he had looked like in a Navy uniform: a white hat; a bib in the back; and bell-bottom trousers. I wonder how many times I might have seen him and not even said 'Good morning, how are you?' or anything because, you see, I was a fighter pilot and he was just a sailor." Plumb thought of the many hours the sailor had spent at a long wooden table in the bowels of the ship, carefully weaving the shrouds and folding the silks of each chute, holding in his hands each time the fate of someone he didn't know.

Now, Plumb asks his audience, "Who's packing your parachute?" Everyone has someone who provides what they need to make it through the day. He also points out that he needed many kinds of parachutes when his plane was shot down over enemy territory -- he needed his physical parachute, his mental parachute, his emotional parachute, and his spiritual parachute. He called on all these supports before reaching safety.

Sometimes in the daily challenges that life gives us, we miss what is really important. We may fail to say hello, please, or thank you, congratulate someone on something wonderful that has happened to them, give a compliment, or just do something nice for no reason. As you go through this week, this month, this year, recognize people who pack your parachutes.

I am sending you this as my way of thanking you for your part in packing my parachute. And I hope you will send it on to those who have helped pack yours!

Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word. Maybe this could explain it: When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do -- you forward jokes. And to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get? A forwarded joke.

So my friend, next time when you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile, just helping you pack your parachute........

Have a great day and stay in touch.....

 

[Jaco]

An old woman who demands justice!!!!! !!

Defense Attorney:
Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady:
I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

Little Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening,
when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?

Little Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?

Little Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?

Little Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Little Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so "spicy" that I just laid down and told him
"Take me, young man. Take me now!"

Defense Attorney:
Did he take you?

Little Old Lady:
Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!" And that's when I shot him, the little *******

 

[Jaco]

I think you're the father of one of my kids





A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello.
He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from.
So he says, "Do you know me?"

To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says,
"My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher."

 

[woodbloke]

Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives.

When it's clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day.

One day Mike says, "Joe, we both loved football all our lives, and we played Sunday football together for so many years. Please do me one favour, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's football there."

Joe looks up at Mike from his death bed," Mike, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favour for you.

Shortly after that, Joe passes on.

At midnight a couple of nights later, Mike is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him,"

“Mike--Mike."

"Who is it? asks Mike sitting up suddenly. "Who is it?"

"Mike--it's me, Joe."

“You're not Joe. Joe just died."

"I'm telling you, it's me, Joe," insists the voice."

"Joe! where are you?"

"In heaven", replies Joe. "I have some really good news and a little bad news."

"Tell me the good news first," says Mike.

"The good news," Joe says," is that there's football in heaven.
Better yet, all of our old friends who died before us are here too.
Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always spring time and it never rains or snows and there's even thousands of cheer leader girls. And best of all, we can play football all we want, and we never get tired."

"That's fantastic," says Mike. "It's beyond my wildest dreams!

“So what's the bad news?"

"You're in the team for Tuesday!"

 

[Russell]

The old man placed order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.


He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing
one half in front of his wife.


He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two
piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.


He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup
down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the
people
around them were looking over and whispering.


Obviously they were thinking, "That poor old couple - all they can
afford is one meal for the two of them."

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and
politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man
said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.


People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a
bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking
turns sipping the drink.


Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another
meal for them. This time the old woman said "No, thank you, we are used to
sharing everything."

Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with
the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had
yet to eat a single bite of food and asked "What is it you are waiting
for?"

She answered



(Continue below - This is great)































"THE TEETH."

 

[Jaco]

Cop pulls over a mini-bus taxi.

Cop says: "License please."
Taxi driver says: "What for?"
Cop: "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."
Taxi driver: "I slowed down, and no one was coming."
Cop: "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License please."
Taxi driver : "What's the difference?"
Cop: "The difference is you have to come to a complete stop, that's the law. License please!"
Taxi driver: "Heish ... if you can show me the difference between slow
down and stop, I'll give you my license and you give me the ticket, if not you let me go and no ticket."
Cop says: "Exit your vehicle, sir."
The taxi driver gets out of his taxi, whereupon the cop takes out his truncheon and starts beating the crap out of the taxi driver and says: "you want me to stop or just slow down?"

EISH, DA COP HE EXPLAIN VERY NICE !

 

[Jaco]

Some useful informaton



Seen this one before, (useless info if you ask me), but still fascinating.






The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the1500s:


Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water"..

Houses had thatched roofs - thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs".

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house.. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings c ould mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, Dirt poor. The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway Hence the saying a "thresh hold".

(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old..

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could "bring home the bacon". They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat"..

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the "upper crust".

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding "a wake".

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a ..."dead ringer"..

And that's the truth ...Now, whoever said History was boring ! ! !

Educate someone. Share these facts with a friend









.

 

[Smudger]

Glad you put that in the jokes section...

 

[CHJ]

Wisconsin Salesman

A young guy from Wisconsin moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Wisconsin." Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down.

"How many customers bought something from you today?
The kid says "one".
The boss says "Just one? Our sales people average 20-30 customers a day.
How much was the sale for?"
The kid says "$101,237.65".
The boss asked what he sold"


The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fishhook, then a larger fishhook, then a new fishing rod. I asked him where he was going fishing & he said down the coast, so I said he was going to need a boat, so we went to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. He said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."

The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook & you sold him a BOAT & a TRUCK?" The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife & I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing...