Steve Maskery
Established Member
Can I be the only one here smiling at the thought of the permanent smirk which must on Alf's face as she (or is it he?) reads this thread?
S
S
How do you get away with it?
- Thread starter mahking51
- Start date
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Alf
Established Member
Tsk, need evidence eh? Here goes:
Oh my, look at that lovely pair of shoes, I simply must have them. That Brad Pitt, eh? What a dish. When are you going to finish that burfl? I'm fed up with all my clothes on the ground; I could have bought a burfl in Ikea for half what that plane cost you by now, and you haven't even started it yet. If I produced meals at the rate you finish projects we'd have all starved by now. Oooo, when did those shoes appear in the shops? etc etc
Convinced?
Cheers, Token Female Presence in Stereotype Mode
Oh my, look at that lovely pair of shoes, I simply must have them. That Brad Pitt, eh? What a dish. When are you going to finish that burfl? I'm fed up with all my clothes on the ground; I could have bought a burfl in Ikea for half what that plane cost you by now, and you haven't even started it yet. If I produced meals at the rate you finish projects we'd have all starved by now. Oooo, when did those shoes appear in the shops? etc etc
Convinced?
Cheers, Token Female Presence in Stereotype Mode
Newbie_Neil
Established Member
Alf":1awtgeoe said:
ROTFL
Cheers
Neil
Taffy Turner
Established Member
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
DaveL
Established Member
Alf,
You run out of dried Frog pills AGAIN :wink: :roll: :lol: :lol:
You run out of dried Frog pills AGAIN :wink: :roll: :lol: :lol:
This thread reminds me...."She who shall not be named" (Harry Potter), once asked me if i can make her "when i have time" a chalk board to hang on the inside of a kitchen cupboard for last minute shopping items, some MDF, black matt paint and a nice grape design (The greek in me) and hey presto......so why did she get the ump when i wrote 15 denier stockings on it? :twisted:
Vormulac
Established Member
Thanks Tony, there's coffee all over my screen and keyboard now...
:lol:
V.
:lol:
V.
Aragorn
Established Member
Yeah - Thanks Tony! Ditto!
:lol: :lol:
_____________________
Cheers!
Aragorn!
P.S. Perhaps she objected to MDF? Probably wanted you to use a nice bit of fruitwood?
:lol: :lol:
_____________________
Cheers!
Aragorn!
P.S. Perhaps she objected to MDF? Probably wanted you to use a nice bit of fruitwood?
J.A.S
Established Member
In answer to the thread's question:
1. Stealth tactics, only deployed under cover of darkness, which should take the form of:
2. Climbing the back gate, before crawling on one's stomach to the garage. Covering fire should accompany such manoeuvres, and should be provided by one's best mate, in the courageous form of ringing the front door bell and then running away.
3. If rumbled and caught in possession of contraband goods, aver, with plenty of swearing and bluster, that one's credit card has been stolen by someone "who must be a chippy". Such an obvious lie lays the ground work for a second lie, which stands a better chance of being believed. Viz:
4. When the plausibility of 3 is challenged, as it will be, immediately admit wrong-doing, and assert that one needed said goods to complete "something for you, darling, since you're so clever, that if I'd told you about these purchases, you'd guess".
5. Having promised 4, seek a commercial workshop and beg them to produce promised object in return for huge fee and free beer.
6. Remind self that additional suspect purchases should be contracted only when "you're going to visit your mother, darling? That's wonderful! I know how close you two are. I'll stay here and do all the odd jobs that have been worrying you". Caution: do not gild the lilly; she'll suspect an affair. Thus, grit teeth, and call Mother-in-Law's by blower several times. Encouraging the dog to bark will prove that you are, indeed, at home.
As for epithets for SWMBO, the 'War Office' I think, can be bettered: since we are describing the thoughts and habits of women, I've always favoured the 'Foreign Office'. And maybe 'Elliot Ness', who was, after all, an Untouchable :wink:
JS
1. Stealth tactics, only deployed under cover of darkness, which should take the form of:
2. Climbing the back gate, before crawling on one's stomach to the garage. Covering fire should accompany such manoeuvres, and should be provided by one's best mate, in the courageous form of ringing the front door bell and then running away.
3. If rumbled and caught in possession of contraband goods, aver, with plenty of swearing and bluster, that one's credit card has been stolen by someone "who must be a chippy". Such an obvious lie lays the ground work for a second lie, which stands a better chance of being believed. Viz:
4. When the plausibility of 3 is challenged, as it will be, immediately admit wrong-doing, and assert that one needed said goods to complete "something for you, darling, since you're so clever, that if I'd told you about these purchases, you'd guess".
5. Having promised 4, seek a commercial workshop and beg them to produce promised object in return for huge fee and free beer.
6. Remind self that additional suspect purchases should be contracted only when "you're going to visit your mother, darling? That's wonderful! I know how close you two are. I'll stay here and do all the odd jobs that have been worrying you". Caution: do not gild the lilly; she'll suspect an affair. Thus, grit teeth, and call Mother-in-Law's by blower several times. Encouraging the dog to bark will prove that you are, indeed, at home.
As for epithets for SWMBO, the 'War Office' I think, can be bettered: since we are describing the thoughts and habits of women, I've always favoured the 'Foreign Office'. And maybe 'Elliot Ness', who was, after all, an Untouchable :wink:
JS
Philly
Established Member
Very good Jas! :roll:
Philly :lol:
Philly :lol:
