AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

[Blister]

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES : THESE REALLY WORK!!


1. TO AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES, GET SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. TO AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT- USE THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. [REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.]

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES - YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT
DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

8. NEVER TAKE A SLEEPING PILL AND A LAXATIVE THE SAME NIGHT.

:mrgreen:

 

[Doug B]

I was always taught when using a Stanley knife (other craft knives are available 8-[ ) I should always cut towards my mate O

It does work, i have never inflicted an injury on myself whilst following these instructions :-s

 

[Jonzjob]

The torque loading of any bolt is up to shear and then back a quater.

 

[woodstainwilly]

When told to sit down to pee
move the chair as close to the pot as you can.

 

[woodbloke]

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. [REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.]

:mrgreen:

I know this thread is supposed to be a bit of a larf, but I did read somewhere (though could be mistaken) that this was actually done in days of yore to relieve HBP - Rob

 

[doctor Bob]

If you must roam in a crocodile infected swamp make sure you are with a friend who is a slower runner.

 

[StevieB]

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. [REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.]

:mrgreen:

I know this thread is supposed to be a bit of a larf, but I did read somewhere (though could be mistaken) that this was actually done in days of yore to relieve HBP - Rob

Blood letting was certainly common for a whole range of ailments, not sure hypertension was that well known in medieval times however :-k

Steve