The UK Workshop Panto Presents ........

[Nigel]

It's magical and enthralling just like a panto should be
keep it coming :?
and yes you are all mad :x but I like you

Nigel

 

[mel]

so 3 ships are laden with a cast of 150 or so characters
when up pipes wenslascrit
"can anyone sail these ships " a silence fell over them
can some one shut those fingerless dwarfs up
i cant hear properly said wenslasccrit
when jayfcee pipes up " im a seamen " but it was a long time ago
wheres rodger the sinbadian , hes got a nautical name
and seaco , wasnt he a seamen too
the five gills were laughing uncontrollably
wheres alf the "nun" ask martin the boot
she too busy playing the part of about three characters and wont play unless she plays the part she likes most
whats that enquires waka the poor
alf the collector with the knees that wont bend
anyway she went via the cyclone pipe with her poorly knees said one of the gills , who had stopped laughing

three ships sailled into the distance
whos got the plot ask waka the poor
king wenslascrit may have the plot says martin the boot
wheres the plot going then ask the gills
to the upside down land far away ,
ill just follow the stars until we get the plot back then

TBC

 

[JFC]

Just then JayefFlegaCy comes running out of the bilges and explanes to Mel of siteforemanship that we are taking on water and Alf the collector has the caulking irons :shock:

 

[CHJ]

I have a sinking feeling says No One in Particular who is just along for the ride.

 

[Lord Nibbo]

In the early morning mist an orange coloured boat appears on the horizon with blue lights flashing and it’s crew hanging over the side ready to assist the stricken Ark of the Devon Woody Man rescue collective. On the bow in large blue letters it says R.N.L.I.

“Can we assist you in any way Captain” the coxswain shouts.

“Got anything on board that will fill the gaps up in a bad dovetail joint?” cries Waka….

“I got a bucket full of sawdust for putting out a fire, will that do?”

“Yes sir the bucket is just what we need, you can sling the sawdust, are first mate Barry got tons of the stuff blocking up his cyclone”

The R.N.L.I. coxswain heaves the old bucket over on to the Ark, Alf the Non Collector who just changed her name by deed poll runs up quickly and grabs it, eyeing it up as a possible future gloat here face changes to a sullen expression as she looks in side of it….

There’s (you all know whats coming next)

Yep….. There’s a hole in my bucket dear Wizer dear Wizer… there’s a ho……..

Etc etc ……..


With all the crew of the Ark singing joyfully the lifeboat coxswain shouts asking if he can be of more assistance…. Wenslscrit leans forward and asks “Do you know way to Ozz?” Ummm you hum it I'll sing it....


With a bang and a flash the Wonderfull wizard of Ozz appears (Norm in drag ) “I can show you how to get there” and taping on his glasses says “First read all the instructions that come with your power tools” he then picks up the Maskery Magic Marker and places it on the ships chart table, with a quick flick of his wrist and aided by his brad gun he fixes a course along the infamous yellow brick road to Ozz. “Now take the second star to the left go past Peter Pan and go on till morning” and with a puff he disappears.

Wenslascrit stands up with shin pads and box in place roars waving his bat “Follow me lads and ladettes we will be in Oz by morning……

 

[mel]

love it so far
let me get this right
norm has disapeared with a puff
that will be steve from this old house , who brought him into it ???

 

[Alf]

Meanwhile Alf the Collector, the Non-Collector, The One Travelling Down a Dust Extraction Pipe to Oz etc etc (all 73 of them - so now you know how I manage to post so often...) where all collectively clutching their heads and yelling

"I've got a Splitting Personality!"

In a bid for some faint thread of sanity in a plot otherwise likely to find favour on the wards of Bedlam, The Tool Gods took pity on her and in a flash made a available a Stanley #1 in mint condition with a price tag of £2.50. Unable to do anything but obey the powerful instinct to buy, through space and time all 73 Alfs rushed together once more and arrived, whole again (and definitely not a collector), just in time to snatch it up and offer £2 for it.

The deal done she looked about her, only to find she was...

To vote for your choice, dial WOODWORKING and add:

In the Ark sinking in the Bay of Biscuits..............................01
At the End of the Dust Extraction Tube in Oz......................02
On a Beach in Bali...............................................................03
In the workshop actually making something........................04
Dancing the the Argentinian Tango with Mark Ramprakash...05

Hey, a girl can dream... :wink:

 

[CHJ]

Sorry Girl, in the interests of the plot it is 02 for me, mind you folks, judging by her latest antics she is just as likely to Turn A Round, outrageously dressed in a Bodgers (s)Pinny and lop off a few protrusions to ease her way through to Lizzy More who she has it on good authority knows where the Devon Woody is, gloating about the temperature without the foggiest notion or concern for the long term sufferers still at risk of drowning in the Bay of Biscuits (The Bang and the Flash blew the fuse didn't it) in the search to rescue him from such debauchery and misguided pursuits as eating Xmas lunch in the shade of the….

 

[Paul Chapman]

I reckon there's an 06 and Alf will appear dressed as Long John Silver with a parrot on her shoulder..... :ho2

 

[mel]

:?: when does wenslascrit get to sliegh norm the gay wizard for his part in making people remove the saw guards and riving knifes :?:
saying that its only for photographic purposes
he could use excaliber , if he hasnt left it on a saw horse in plymouth harbour . :lol:

 

[Nigel]

I reckon the Parrot is in the crows nest of the coast of burnt ember country
an early bird first recorded in 1905 in parrot Weekly
later ones look in the right direction :lol:

 

[Scrit]

:?: when does wenslascrit get to sliegh norm the gay wizard for his part in making people remove the saw guards and riving knifes :?:
saying that its only for photographic purposes
he could use excaliber , if he hasnt left it on a saw horse in plymouth harbour . :lol:

Mel

Inviting me in at this stage to make a Charley of myself when I'm sufficiently slewed that I hardly give A-dam isn't really fair (does that make me an Oldsoke, I wonder, ah well it's Christmas after all!). I could find that Dedee, ColinC and JFC (nor to mention JasonB and Steve Maskery or even Rob Lee and DavidC) all decide to gang up on me as the clock nears Midnight. Then in order to make good my escape I'll need fight them off with my Sgian Dubh (or just throw the odd Offcut at them?) and Gidon my trusty steed shouting "Hi ho Sliver and away!" (or thumb a lift from a passing MorrisMinorDriver) and make good my escape, which would be another BugBear as I have this feeling of deja vu, yes I've Bean there, done that already. Still I hope this provides Lynx into the next section of the panto as I fade away into the Afterglow....

Wenslascrit

 

[Gill]

The deal done she looked about her, only to find she was...

...Dancing the the Argentinian Tango with Mark Ramprakash...05

Hey, a girl can dream... :wink:

Believe me, that's a common dream! Since it's Christmas and the proceeds go to Children In Need, the five Gill's are speed-dialling 05 on Alf's behalf.

Can one of us have him after you've finished?

 

[sliver]

Possibly at this point, the whole cast (including me.....Mentiond twice, do I get repeat fees?) Should be made to walk the plank......................................................YES! That's right, to be made to take.........THE BIG DUNK!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

Oh, errr, sorry, that would end the story a bit abruptly wouldn't it?

Sorry, carry on mailee(ge) (my leige, geddit? oh please yerselves) :lol:

(HI Ho) Sliver. (Leaves the stage tripping over his bass drum in a crash of cymbals)

 

[Scrit]

Sliver

You may need something faster for a get away, like a Yellow Lambourghini 2406. Me? I've just decided to go hide in Andy's Wood Shed. There might be the odd Woodworm in there (or should that be Anobium Punctatum?) or even a WoodStoat or two, but I feel that it's the Wizer option for me to take.

Wenslascrit

 

[sliver]

SEE!! KIng Wenslascrit spoke to ME..Me!! I am favoured this yuletide season. (Runs away like a girl at the thought of being offered a new Lambo from the King himself..You're all witneses you all heard him say it. If my Lambo aint in my drive by..........Let's be reasonable, 6am Christmas morning...( hey, that's tomorrow) Then I'll Sue! (Though I don't think she works Christmas day :lol: :lol:

 

[Waka]

I've just run out of steam.

Congrats all the participants it was good fun.

And ALF we all really know that you are not a collector, its really Philly the Phantom and Martin the Boot, tjhey even tried to lead me astray today. Could really have fallen for it but HID's hid the pension book.

You all have fun in the next week or so, I'm off to Singapore on Wednesday for some Far Eastern Promise, that can't be right the wife's going too.

 

[Newbie_Neil]

Hi Waka

You all have fun in the next week or so, I'm off to Singapore on Wednesday for some Far Eastern Promise, that can't be right the wife's going too.

Have a really good time. If you see a 22 year old male geek with long fair hair tied back into a ponytail on your flight, just say that Uncle Neil wishes him well.

Cheers
Neil

 

[sliver]

Waka, have great time & while we're at it have a long & happy retirement.

This has been fun & got us all in the mood for the festive period.

Cheers, Sliver the drum.

 

[Scrit]

SEE!! KIng Wenslascrit spoke to ME..Me!! I am favoured

Oh no you're not! I am an equal opportunity Yuletide Panto character and will speak to anyone..........