Septic Tanks

[Digit]

Our council has finally woken up to the requirement that tanks in Wales must be registered.
Government depts love standardisation, unfortunately humans have not reached that state.
They wish to know where you live.
ie, at the address you sent the letter to old chap!
How many people live here?
You could check the local register that you require me to fill in each year!
Does your tank discharge into a water course or ground?
Ground.
Are you within 50 mtrs of a well or borehole?
No.
And so it goes on.
Then they wish for me to give them a grid ref of the tank, ok, here bigenneth the fun.
Either look up the 12 figure grid ref on a map or you can follow the instruction on the net, now at 71 I'm one of the youngest people in the village, AFAIK, apart from my son I am the only computer user in the place, most wouldn't have a clue!
Some don't even know what sort of system they have!
I see problems. :lol:

Roy.

 

[gregmcateer]

I assume this isn't rhyming slang ?

 

[Dodge]

Roy,

have you got an Iphone? If yes download the GPS20S App - It will give you your grid ref wherever you are so go stand on your septic tank and hey presto.

If you havnt got an Iphone if you pm me your address and tell me roughly where the tank is front garden, back garden etc then I will pm back your grid ref - I have a nice little computer programme and have the whole countries maps here.

Rog

 

[RogerS]

Roy...tell them to go forth and multiply. Seriously, they will be charging you each time you go and have a dump. Oh...yes..I see that that is what they are trying to do.

OK...this is what you do.

Rule 1...ignore all correspondence.

Rule 2 ...ignore all correspondence

Rule 3...if they telephone you, tell them that you never received anything and that they need to resend it.

Rule 4 ...go back to Rule 1.

EDIT: I just HAD to go and check for England, didn't I! They are 'reviewing it' but 'you can register if you want to'. Yuh...sure. Here's the cracker. Under the section...give us your 12 digit grid reference..click on Frequently Asked Questions on how to do this........yup...404. I look forward to applying my rules.

 

[Digit]

I've got the grid ok Rog, but I have a feeling that i'll be doing it for the whole village.
There is rented property on either side of me, one is a Philipino family and 'tother is a single lady. Sealed tanks don't count for the register but neither of my neigbours will have a clue as to whether they have sealed tanks and if not where they discharge to or anything else. One neighbour is 92 and couldn't turn his fridge on, one had a pipe burst and was up all night mopping till I got up. Another is 82 and reckons her tank hasn't been emptied since 1947!
I expect the first knock on my door sometime tomorrow morning!

Roy.

 

[Mark A]

Roy, you sound like Superman!

 

[Digit]

Since we moved here Mark we seem to have become the 4th emergency service to the village. We have unblocked drains, cleared airlocks, dealt with burst pipes, septic tanks, changed light bulbs and fuses, dealt with RTAs till the emergency services turned up, taken in stray dogs till we've found the owner, directed lost delivery men and tourists, supplied chain saw and hedge trimmers, repaired domestic appliances, re-programmed TV remotes, supplied candles and hot drinks during power cuts, repaired cars, supplied petrol, timber DIY tools etc etc etc.
We seem to be the first port of call for all known forms of domestic crisis!

Roy.

 

[chipmunk]

Hi Roy,
Your rates are obviously too cheap :wink:

As someone who's just moved from a house with ST, it doesn't surprise me that the councils are waking up to this. I was amazed how many people in our village took their septic tanks for granted and didn't do sensible routine maintenance - I imagine that in some areas this could be a potentially serious environmental issue.

IMHO, ST's are not a cheap option as some think. Renewing a soak-away which is the most likely problem can be pretty expensive.

Jon

 

[Digit]

I have repaired all the older tanks in our village at some time, but one beat me!
A large hole in the ground, brick lined culverts running into it, wooden pit props holding up some corrugated sheets with four inches of concrete on the top!
Ours wasn't much better at first, the top was two old bed heads with slabs on top!
Properly designed and constructed they work well, but most of those here are such that the owners are surprised that ours is emptied regularly, ours is the only one with inspection chamber lids. One I know of has the lawn over it and certainly hasn't been emptied in the 21 yrs we've lived here.
All new properties are being fitted with sealed units, next door the storm water runs into it!!!!

Roy.

 

[Jonzjob]

If you do finish up 'doing everyones' just go in to Google Earth and select your village, stick the pointy hand over where the tank is and read the Long and Lat off the bottom of the screen..

Where we ilved on the outskirts of Stroud we had a septic tank that served us and the neighbour. The neighbour was struggling to make ends meet after her divorce so she wasn't pikky about what went down the loo, etc. In the 23 years I was there it was emptied either 2 or 3 times and the bloke with the 'honey wagon' said that is was a good healthy tank. On the outflow we had some of the best and biggest Victoria rhubarb I have ever seen.

We now have a fosse septique here and although it's the same type of beast we have to be very careful what goes down it and the one time, so far, that we had it emptied the bloke sucked EVERYTHING into his wagon and didn't leave any 'breeder crust' at all. Washed everything clean! That's the way they do it here.

When we were in Stroud SWMBO wanted to dig a small wildlife pond in the garden. I said be my guest and got on with some more turning. A couple of hours later she came in to tell me that she had found what looked like some railway sleepers? Novel thought I? and went and had a look. After loosing a 6 foot long stick down between 2 of the sleepers we discovered a very old sess pit that had served the 4 cottages before they had been turned into the 2 that we now lived in. A 6 foot cube hole! The sleepers were just about to give up the ghost and someone was in for a very nasty shock one day if we hadn't found them!

Going back to the Stroud 'honey wagon'. The bloke had a good sense of humour. There was a sign on the back that stated

"It may be sh!t to you, but it's my bread and butter!" :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

 

[Digit]

I've got the ref for the village John, the point I was making is that most of the people here don't have computers, several people still have the old black dial type phones!
An example of what we face.
One lady, same age as me, is wealthy, lives in a large house, pays to have her lawn mowed and her house cleaned. Last year she paid over a £1000 pounds to have a new solid fuel C/H boiler installed. Won't have gas or oil as 'they'm new fangled,' etc.
Problem
She can't light the bloody thing!
If it goes out, guess whose door gets kicked in. We've found her standing outside of our place waiting for us to come home on a number of occasions. Another elderly lady neighbour climbed up a ladder to see me in our loft!

Roy.

 

[Jonzjob]

You sound a bit like me Roy? Too soft by 1/2.

I used to do all sorts of repairs for our only neighbour in England, now we have a French widow next door, same situation.

I wouldn't have it any other way though!

 

[Digit]

What goes around comes around as they say. When I went down with cancer my neighbours were superb!

Roy.

 

[No skills]

You know what, I've just read this thread and thought 'what a nice place to live'. Good on you for helping out.

 

[Digit]

Apart from some years when we lived in Birmingham I have always lived in small villages, and to be honest I don't think this one is much different to any others.
There is a bus stop opposite my front gate, and when we go out we automatically offer a lift to anyone who needs it. I don't have the nerve not to!

Roy.

 

[Edwin]

Roy, make the most of being 71. I'm close on 80 and ladies have long given up climbing ladders to see me in my loft. I'm searching my fading memory to recall when they did.

Edwin

 

[Digit]

If she'd been blond, blue eyed and busty I might have welcomed her, but she wasn't! :lol:

Roy.

 

[dickm]

now we have a French widow

Anyone else immediately think of the Hoffnung LP of letters from continental hoteliers? "there is a FW in every bedroom, offering stupendous revelations"

And on the topic of septic tank emptiers, our "friend" back in Milton Keynes was certainly a great raconteur. You have no secrets from the man with the big blue tanker......