My 11 year old niece has a smartphone- im angry

[kinverkid]

You can also use your old phones as CCTV or just for video for remote viewing using something like the AlfredCam app. Before I had this 3D printer with built in camera I used an old phone to monitor the printer from another room or down the pub.

 

[jcassidy]

I've skipped a lot so forgive me if I'm repeating. I volunteer with an organisation that teaches personal safety to kids, including mobile phones. The rules are really quite simple, conceptually.

1. It's not her phone.

It's your phone, that you're paying for, and you are loaning it too her on the understanding that you will be checking it frequently. Is she doesn't accept this, take the phone off her.

2. No phones overnight. End of.

Be it from 9pm to 8am, whatever. The phone has to be charged up in the kitchen (which also ensures its availability for you to check it). If she doesn't accept this rule, take the phone off her.

3. No one is allowed to take her phone from her, ever. No one is allowed to stop her from phoning you, ever. This obviously excludes school or other locations where it is agreed that phones are banned.

4. You have a code word which if she calls you with or texts you, you drop everything and go get her immediately, with no questions asked (until the next day, anyway!). It might be "I forgot granny's cake".


Everything else is about controlling her, which is a losing battle because she'll just do what she wants without telling you and then she'll be 18 and not talking to you about this stuff. This app or that app, this many hours or that many... Keep it simple, be consistent, be strong, let her be a stupid teenager but provide a security blanket.

This is not to support giving 11 year old phones. But the cat's out of the bag now so...

Hope this helps
John C

 

[JSW]

I'm on the birth certificate, he has my surname. No question about me having parental responsibility.

Read the link, neither of those give you Parental Responsibility. If she were to move abroad with your child, there isn't a thing you can do about it. If the child needs an operation, transplant, whatever, you have no say. Schooling? you have no say. The list goes on and on. I speak from experience.

 

[Croolis]

I think this covers it:

Unmarried parents​

An unmarried father can get parental responsibility for his child in 1 of 3 ways:

• jointly registering the birth of the child with the mother (from 1 December 2003)

 

[JSW]

I think this covers it:

Apologies, I appear to have skip-read my own link! Dec 2003 huh, well that could have saved me a couple of grand if I'd held on two years. Either way, nice to see the law has been changed, and for once in the Fathers best interests.

 

[Croolis]

Apologies for hijacking the thread with my bulls**t .

 

[BC'er]

The harmful and destructive effects of smart phones on children and youth is now well documented: social anxiety, bullying, pornography, extreme violence of kinds that create PTSD etc. etc. People who give smartphones to children without strict parental controls on them are effectively abusing the child IMHO.

 

[MikeJhn]

Only the other day, the OHs mobile had a text come from O2. "We're stopping supporting the old type sim you have in your phone"
The phone immediately stopped working, which is a pain due to OTPs etc. She doesn't use the phone much, but I've got her a cheap monthly contract on my own contract, and a new phone. Now struggling to get the old number back in place! Looks like that's OK though.

She hadn't used the old PAYG phone for ages, so the PAYG just isn't a reliable way of having a phone. The cheapest PAYG, is dearer than the cheapest contract (at least here, not much choice of networks.

That's the problem with the description of PAYG, (pay as you go) they are not most of them you loose your deposited monies at the end of each month if not used, check out GiffGaff works on the O2 network the only true Pay as you Go, monies are never taken unless you use the phone, even then only topped up too £10.00 when you do.

 

[Phil Pascoe]

I have no issues with a Tesco payg, I just don't use it enough to use the free calls. Other than for I.D. verification for Ebay, Amazon and the bank I call someone about once a month.