Woodchips2
Established Member
Skilsaw - A portable cutting tool used to make boards too short.
Belt sander An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
Powered Wire brush: - Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned callouses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh ?x!?
Drill press - A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.
Water pliers - Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters
Hacksaw - One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion,and the more you attempt to influence its course,the more dismal your future becomes.
Mole grips -Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
Oxyacetylene torch -Used almost entirely for igniting various flammable objects in your shop and creating a fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.
Table saw - A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity. Very effective for digit removal !!
Hydraulic floor jack Used for lowering a car to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes,trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.
Bandsaw A large stationary power saw primarily used to cut large pieces into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the bin after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.
Two ton engine hoist - :A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of all the bits you forgot to disconnect
Phillips screwdriver - Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads
Slotted screwdriver - A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.
Pry bar - A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50p part.
PVC pipe cutter - A tool used to make plastic pipe too short.
Hammer - Originally employed as a weapon of war the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent to the object we are trying to hit.
Stanley knife - Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door. Works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund cheques and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.
Regards Keith
Belt sander An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
Powered Wire brush: - Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned callouses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh ?x!?
Drill press - A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.
Water pliers - Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters
Hacksaw - One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion,and the more you attempt to influence its course,the more dismal your future becomes.
Mole grips -Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
Oxyacetylene torch -Used almost entirely for igniting various flammable objects in your shop and creating a fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.
Table saw - A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity. Very effective for digit removal !!
Hydraulic floor jack Used for lowering a car to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes,trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.
Bandsaw A large stationary power saw primarily used to cut large pieces into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the bin after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.
Two ton engine hoist - :A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of all the bits you forgot to disconnect
Phillips screwdriver - Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads
Slotted screwdriver - A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.
Pry bar - A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50p part.
PVC pipe cutter - A tool used to make plastic pipe too short.
Hammer - Originally employed as a weapon of war the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent to the object we are trying to hit.
Stanley knife - Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door. Works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund cheques and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.
Regards Keith
