More Irish jokes

[Noel]

Bellshaft Sammy? Description- certain tattoos adorning arms (pertinent words- a higher being, saving, and a place Cúchulainn fought for), calls a map a mop and resides in BT13, the bottom of the road up to the folks on the hill and neighbouring areas.

As for the Crindle wicket, just over the hedge, I imagine I'll be able to hear the bounce before the bat.

Ulster Scots, must admit on visits to Cowtown and the Glens it's difficult to understand the spoken word sometimes.
The programme on Radio U is more amusing than informative.

Drove past your area yesterday evening, the sun setting over Shrove and the hills beyond, the waters of the lough like glass and the air as still as, well, a still thing. Time you returned to God's country.

 

[Cheshirechappie]

Like many of my generation, I used to sling 'tick oirishman' jokes about quite a bit when I was younger, but don't so much these days. Several things contributed to this change - growing up, for one - but perhaps the most significant was the comedy of the late, and much lamented, Dave Allen ("I'm an athiest, thank God"), and one particular gag about the Irish. As he said, the Irish have a different way of looking at things - the original lateral thinkers, in many ways. He cited the example of the little Oirish feller standing in dock facing the bewigged and heavy-jowled judge asking him, "You have heard the charges laid against you. Now how do you plead, guilty or not guilty?". The little feller sucked his teeth, thought a minute, and replied, "Ah, to be sure, Oi'll tell yer sorr, but would you moind if Oi heard the evidence first?"

Nowadays, as a result of gags like that, I don't laugh AT the Irish, I laugh WITH them. That wordplay and quickness of mind can be a wonderful tonic. The out-and-out insulting stuff is just that, and not funny any more.

Another is the Irish glazier called to mend a window. He surveys the broken pane carefully from inside the house, then goes outside and surveys the job from there, too. Then he slowly shakes his head and says, "Ah, to be sure, 'tis worse that Oi thought. 'Tis broken on both sides."

Sammy - I see your point - most delicately made it is, too. Us tightwad northerners have quite enough of southerners going on about "Ee ba gum" characters with short arms and long pockets. Stereotypes are funny up to a point; a joke's a joke, but it can go too far.

Now, where's me cap. I'm off to take the whippet for a walk.

 

[SammyQ]

Noel? Got it! When we bought our first house, little did we know that the one next door was Housing Executive/a 'displaced' family....Daddy had been awarded a four year holiday in Long Kesh, eldest son had mysteriously been playing with Samuel Colt's finest when Mr Plod looked over his shoulder; second son had a new car every year - on the dole. Unbelievably, they were fantastic neighbours!

I was up in the Leap of the Dog 10 days ago, flying visit to meet and assess aging parent -I'll try to linger longer at the Roemouth next time I'm down. I still detest that bl**dy awful 'access' road they put in years ago, but below the sea wall, you can't see it. My personal favourite? The Black Path - to the left of McAteer's cottage (the one you can see if you look up to the mountain, above the forest) followed closely by Balls' Point with a coloured sunset. Did I ever tell you I found icebergs there one winter? 1979 I think.

Cheshire Chappie? "Stereotypes are funny up to a point; a joke's a joke, but it can go too far" - as the God Known as Woodbloke once put it: "Perzactly!"

Sam

 

[Lons]

Now, where's me cap. I'm off to take the whippet for a walk.

Oy - Do you mind: Andy Capp was a mackam wasn't he?
What are you doing roaming the "posh" streets of Cheshire with a cap and a whippet? :roll: :lol: :lol:

Bob

 

[Cheshirechappie]

Now, where's me cap. I'm off to take the whippet for a walk.

Oy - Do you mind: Andy Capp was a mackam wasn't he?
What are you doing roaming the "posh" streets of Cheshire with a cap and a whippet? :roll: :lol: :lol:

Bob

Cheshire is oop north.

Well, OK, it's sort of south north, but it's definitely northish. Just about.

Not all of Cheshire is posh, you know. They stuck Warrington onto Cheshire a few years ago, and can't get less posh than that!

 

[studders]

Us tightwad northerners have quite enough of southerners going on about "Ee ba gum" characters with short arms and long pockets.

You have a point but, is it not reciprocated ad nauseum by them 'oop there with Southerners depicted in many different, un complimentary ways? And of course every one from London is a Cockernee, unless they live in the 'posh' bits in which case they're inbred posh twats.

 

[Cheshirechappie]

Us tightwad northerners have quite enough of southerners going on about "Ee ba gum" characters with short arms and long pockets.

You have a point but, is it not reciprocated ad nauseum by them 'oop there with Southerners depicted in many different, un complimentary ways? And of course every one from London is a Cockernee, unless they live in the 'posh' bits in which case they're inbred posh twats.

....which rather reinforces the point about stereotypes. A joke's a joke, but it wears thin if it goes on too long.

 

[Noel]

Noel? Got it! When we bought our first house, little did we know that the one next door was Housing Executive/a 'displaced' family....Daddy had been awarded a four year holiday in Long Kesh, eldest son had mysteriously been playing with Samuel Colt's finest when Mr Plod looked over his shoulder; second son had a new car every year - on the dole. Unbelievably, they were fantastic neighbours!

I was up in the Leap of the Dog 10 days ago, flying visit to meet and assess aging parent -I'll try to linger longer at the Roemouth next time I'm down. I still detest that bl**dy awful 'access' road they put in years ago, but below the sea wall, you can't see it. My personal favourite? The Black Path - to the left of McAteer's cottage (the one you can see if you look up to the mountain, above the forest) followed closely by Balls' Point with a coloured sunset. Did I ever tell you I found icebergs there one winter? 1979 I think.



Sam

Access road is a joke. Last year some landowner didn't like the idea of Joe Public being "near" his land so built metal gates to stop cars driving the last mile or two down to the nature reserve and the NIR crossing end of the wall. Some time later the gates lay on the ground in many pieces.....

The younger sprog kayaked from Swan's Bridge down to the Roe Mouth last night, loved it.

Sea wall similar to last night although last year or year before perhaps:

A great walk up to the cottage, didn't know it was called The Black Path/McAteer's.

Great pictures here:

http://flickrhivemind.net/Tags/limavady ... nteresting

 

[SammyQ]

Noel, walking from Aghanloo Road, up to Cottage is just a forrestry track, no name I'm aware of. Cottage used to belong to Willie-John McAteer,local character; now owned by Smith Family I think. The Black Path runs from his cottage across the face of the hill,skirking below the slumped faces of Benevenagh and the 'Lynn' that gives Ballymaglynn its name. It was the illicit roadway used by Magilligan Catholics to attend illegal Mass in less enlightened times. There is indeed a large flat rock on the route upon which you can make out a depression and it does not take too much imagination to wonder if the depression is man-made? My Father and Grandfather - Bellarena born and bred - knew of it and told me it was "the Mass Rock". The only living things up there regularly now are the feral goats? The Linn or Lynn is a fairly easy scramble, but the big gullies further round the face are asteriskivally horrible because of the notoriously friable rock - Christmas pudding comes close in texture. Incidentally, I'm never far from home, as Benevenagh is one rim of a rock bowl right under The Province and Cave Hill is the other rim. I just look up on my way to work and remember.

Kayaking? Whoopee, best way to see the Roe. Does said sprog know the names of all the 'holes'? He can start with 'Stone Hole' just above the bridge, just off Singleton's farm - now Blair's I think. And then, he can go 'tramping flukes' at the mouth. They are totally enormous down there. I personally saw one in excess of two feet square being caught one afternoon. I must also be one of the few people alive to have walked across the Roe on the seaward side of the bridge.
Here's a teaser for you? Looking at the mouth from Benevenagh Lake, what are the marks parallel to the river course a few hundred yards from the railway bridge?

Sam

 

[studders]

Us tightwad northerners have quite enough of southerners going on about ...............

....which rather reinforces the point about stereotypes. A joke's a joke, but it wears thin if it goes on too long.

Well, my point was that your message was in itself a stereotype.

 

[Cheshirechappie]

Us tightwad northerners have quite enough of southerners going on about ...............

....which rather reinforces the point about stereotypes. A joke's a joke, but it wears thin if it goes on too long.

Well, my point was that your message was in itself a stereotype.

I'm glad you saw the point.

Shall we leave it off, now, before the moderators (and everybody else) become irritated?

 

[RogerM]

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night."

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

OK. Having seen what you made of my last offering, what will you do with this?

A cow, an ant and an old fart are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them.

• The cow said, "I give 20 quarts of milk every day and that's why I am the greatest!"

• The ant said, "I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times my own weight and that's why I am the greatest!"

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Why are you scrolling down? It's your turn to say something!

This is of course blatantly "old fartist". Anyone prepared to champion the cause? :lol:

 

[Noel]

Interesting story Sammy. I'll have a nosey next time I'm up there. I'm only a blow-in (originally from /city) although my mother was from "Sweet Largy Braes" to quote a local Ploughman......... Have often come down on 2 wheels. Turn left from the lake and down the tight hand side toward Downhill then a u-turn and diagonally across the front and eventually into Ballycarton forest, very enjoyable.

I suspect the thrill and excitement precluded the kayaking kid from even thinking about local geography. I had to look up what a Fluke looked like...I don't fish. Would love a trip from O'Cahans to the river mouth. Presume your biblical crossing was at low tide and before the recent(ish) dredging?

Parallel lines (great album....)? No idea. Had a look at the sat view and other than the working of the lawn turf outfits didn't see anything. WW2 thing or something similar?

Is Ball's Point at the end of Scotchtown Road?

 

[SammyQ]

Yup Noel, did it about 1978 or so, 100 - 200 metres downstream of the bridge. Dredging? New to me. Ball's Point? Go past Swan's Bridge, Bellarena Estate gates, 90degree bend, primary school, take left-hand turn immediately after school hedge. At T junction, about 150 metres later, turn hard right, go straight, over railway, to shore = Ball's Point; WW2 bomber range, home to lapwings, rabbits, solitude.

The two parallel lines off-shore are all that remain of an attempt to dredge a deeper channel and perhaps simultaneously establish a polder-like enclosure, rather like that retained by the sea-wall. There is a wooden barge there if you look carefully enough. I have also been out to the Corsair aircraft at the other end of the sea wall. Now, there's a tricky bit of 'glarr' and mud to negotiate!!

Flukes aren't fished for! They are carefully felt for in bare feet, then you stand on them and spear them with a straightened 'gaff' slid down the outside of your leg. Finesse? Nah. Effective? Too right. Ask some elders of the McDaid family if they are still indiginent to Myroe or Bellarena

Sam.

 

[studders]

Shall we leave it off, now, before the moderators (and everybody else) become irritated?

Why would they get irritated over such a simple exchange? :?


Err... that's rhetorical BTW.