I blame YouTube, how many more Americanisms are we going to have to suffer ?

[Cabinetman]

As an American once proposed "A plan for improving the English language"

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet.

The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later.

Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.

Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.

Bai iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.

Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

That must’ve taken you ages Ozi, from listening to some Americans when they are speaking really fast I think they are at about year 10 at the moment lol.

 

[Inspector]

So you have around the same amount as one town here (Milton Keynes).

Well actually those stats are for the US only. We have about 400 so we are way behind but just as well since it takes a while for people new to them to figure it out. Slow learners and all that. Besides during whiteout snow storms there is the risk of coming upon them too fast and running up the middle. Snow plow drivers prefer straight roads too as do the 30m or 40m long B trains (semi pulling two trailers) don't like them either

Pete

 

[D_W]

I find these things real annoying.

are they giving you cramps? or clamps? preecrampsia?

 

[Jake]

are they giving you cramps? or clamps? preecrampsia?

Real bad clamps

 

[Jake]

Well actually those stats are for the US only. We have about 400 so we are way behind but just as well since it takes a while for people new to them to figure it out. Slow learners and all that. Besides during whiteout snow storms there is the risk of coming upon them too fast and running up the middle. Snow plow drivers prefer straight roads too as do the 30m or 40m long B trains (semi pulling two trailers) don't like them either

Pete

OK I was exaggeratedly joking re the 7,000 but Milton Keynes does apparently have 930, so actually does win. On the other hand, it has far fewer moose.

 

[Inspector]

OK I was exaggeratedly joking re the 7,000 but Milton Keynes does apparently have 930, so actually does win. On the other hand, it has far fewer moose.

I know you were kidding as was I. Since Saskatchewan is almost 2 1/2 times the area of Great Britain and we only have 1.2 million people there isn't a huge need for an efficient traffic system. More paved road would be a treat though.

Now back to our silly treatise on our language differences.

Pete

 

[Thingybob]

My two pet hates are "sodering iron" and "sorry my bad "

 

[niemeyjt]

I was discussing making a base for a shed on a US forum - somehow when I mentioned hard core I got some strange replies. (it's rubble over there)

 

[Phil Pascoe]

We figured that you added the extra syllable either due to an impediment or just to be sassy. English men with piles of manners (selectively used, other times not) are thought of as sassy here.

I have no idea what sassy means.

 

[Phil Pascoe]

My two pet hates are "sodering iron" and "sorry my bad "

I wonder if they have platoons of sodiers? Or if they've ever been sod down the line?

 

[Doug B]

I wouldn't say the cramp vs clamp thing is down to American influence, at least in my experience.

I was taught they are cramps, no arguing. Okay, fair enough.

Not sure its a generation thing either. I work with people older than me, and all the non wood related trades call them clamps. They don't strike me as YouTube watchers.

Thinking about that my 70 year old engineering mate refers to them as clamps & I doubt he’s seen a You Tube woodworking video in his life.

 

[John Brown]

The ise ize thing irritates me. The z ending was the preferred British spelling 40 years ago, but people insist that it's American. It isn't.

People also complain about bathroom. Why? It's just another euphemism. Like lavatory or toilet. I'm not sure that we have a polite but direct word for the crapper.
The things that do niggle me- mixing up bring and take, and "off of".

Having an American wife, I'm fairly used to the small differences nowadays.

 

[danst96]

Im probably a serial offender. As someone who was born in South Africa and for the last 3 years has travelled extensively around Europe and to the US for business (pre-covid was in EU roughly 2 days on average) my language has become "Americanized" in my spelling and way I talk due to communicating with people who are more aware of American English than British English.

So in advance, sorry. But not really sorry.

 

[Doug71]

I always think of a cramp as a sash cramp type thing that I would use to pull together something like a door while the glue sets.

I think of a clamp as something you use to clamp the thing you are working on to the bench so it doesn't move around.

Regarding Americanisms I would say I'm watching series 6 of Line of Duty but apparently it's season 6.

 

[mrpercysnodgrass]

There was a guy on the radio yesterday from the English spelling society talking about a campaign to simplify the English language. He made a lot of sense.
Below is from their website.
English spelling is broken. Let's fix it!
English spelling is broken ...
English spelling is broken. Examples like comb, bomb and tomb, or height and weight, abound. And no-one seems to know whether the down pipe from a gutter is a rone, a rhone, a roan or something else.
English spelling has been chopped and changed by countless scribes, printers, invaders and others since the Roman alphabet was first used to write Old English during the seventh century, and it does not match the way we speak today. The English Spelling Society exists to repair our broken spelling.
In this website you can discover the past, present and future of English Spelling:

• Discover the amazing history of English spelling — how it came to be the way it is, and what happened to previous attempts to put it right.
• Find out just how crazy English spelling is today — and how much that costs in economic and social terms.
• See what The English Spelling Society is planning to do — and how you can help.

 

[S&T]

It's not a burl, it's a burr.

 

[AJB Temple]

It's an interesting subject. People often seem to get a bee in their bonnet about spelling, perhaps losing sight of the purpose, which is I suppose a mixture of communication and record.

When I was at school, it was necessary to learn latin, as it was required for university entrance. I'm not a good linguist at all, but I learnt French through spending a lot of time there over the years. I spent 16 years In a relationship with a multilingual Dutch girl, so I learnt Dutch, though some dialects I struggle with. The last 16 years have been with a German woman so I learnt German. She is fluent in Italian and has built a bit on my schoolboy Latin. I also worked in the US for a while so to be frank I am throughly mixed up about language construction and use! There is little point being precious about any language as it seemingly evolves whatever we do. It's best simply to embrace it. Innit.

PS: It does bug me when people confuse learn and teach though. When someone says "I'll learn it to yer" it grates. Lend and borrow misuse bugs me a bit as well.

 

[John Brown]

It's an interesting subject. People often seem to get a bee in their bonnet about spelling, perhaps losing sight of the purpose, which is I suppose a mixture of communication and record.

When I was at school, it was necessary to learn latin, as it was required for university entrance. I'm not a good linguist at all, but I learnt French through spending a lot of time there over the years. I spent 16 years In a relationship with a multilingual Dutch girl, so I learnt Dutch, though some dialects I struggle with. The last 16 years have been with a German woman so I learnt German. She is fluent in Italian and has built a bit on my schoolboy Latin. I also worked in the US for a while so to be frank I am throughly mixed up about language construction and use! There is little point being precious about any language as it seemingly evolves whatever we do. It's best simply to embrace it. Innit.

PS: It does bug me when people confuse learn and teach though. When someone says "I'll learn it to yer" it grates. Lend and borrow misuse bugs me a bit as well.

Does anyone still say "I'll learn it to yer" in real life?
And shouldn't that be "bee in my hood"?

Americans think it's weird how we all say f instead of th. Which of course we don't. And still believe that all British people talk like Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins.

One of my American brothers in law tells everyone that British people say " Russell Hobbs" instead of kettle. I suspect that one of his British work colleagues told him that as a joke.

 

[Phil Pascoe]

no-one seems to know whether the down pipe from a gutter is a rone, a rhone, a roan or something else ...

Something else, I would imagine as I've never heard one called anything other than a downpipe. By the way, gutters here are launders - gutters are on the ground.

Learn/teach? One of the Cornish ones is using lend instead of borrow - as in "can I lend your ladder, I got get the tobs out me launders?"

 

[kinverkid]

PS: It does bug me when people confuse learn and teach though. When someone says "I'll learn it to yer" it grates. Lend and borrow misuse bugs me a bit as well.

I was very impressed with my then twelve year old Ibithencan nephew came to stay with us with his mom and dad. One day my English sister-in-law jokingly said in her Brummie accent that she's been 'learning him English'. He said 'don't you mean you've been teaching me English'.