Daytime Amusement

[Dibs-h]

Thought I'd post it up - had me in stitches.

A conversation in the Oval Office

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China.

Enjoy

Dibs

p.s. Or listen to it - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LK4tbUBXfuQ

 

[disco_monkey79]

Excellent!

 

[Dibs-h]

I almost wet my self with this one!

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 out west to where a man has a prize bull for sale.

Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick-up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word".

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that he'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable'.

The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pick-up and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable'?"

The brunette explains, "My sister is blonde. She'll read it slowly.”

:lol:

Dibs

 

[MARK.B.]

=D> =D> :-D

 

[toysandboats]

Reminds me of another not-so-dumb blonde one . . .
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Last year, I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-pane, energy-efficient kind.

Today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them.
He complained that the work had been completed a year ago. and I still hadn't paid for them.

Hellloooo,.............just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.

So, I told him just what his fast-talking sales guy told me last year...
….that these windows would pay for themselves in a year.

Helllooooo? It's been a year, so they're paid for, I told him.

There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally hung up.

He never called back.

I bet he felt like an *****.

___________________________________________________

David