Another Joke

[Cordy]

Don't let them take your temperature on your forehead when you enter a supermarket.

It erases your memory.

I went in for bread and milk and came out with two cases of beer.

 

[bushwhaker]

My wife was clothes shopping and she texted me a selfie asking me if the pants she had on made her look fat.

I answered "Nooooo". Damn autocorrect typed "Mooooo". I'm finished now...

 

[treeturner123]

Heard on the wonderful Peter Crouch podcast. Not for the faint hearted.

Crouchie's mate was going to take his new girlfriend to 'Albarone's' for a drink and a bite to eat.

When quizzed, as Crouchie had never hear of this establishment it turned out he was going to..........


All Bar One!!!

Made me chuckle

Phil

 

[gregmcateer]

So what's the advantage of living in Switzerland?

 

[gregmcateer]

Well, the flag's a big plus!

 

[AES]

So what's the advantage of living in Switzerland?

Wot 'ee said (about the big +). In fact, rather like the English v the Irish, or N v S in UK, here, we/they're a bit that way with the Austrians - Q: "What's the difference between the 2 flags?" A: "One's a big plus, the other's a big minus".

Or if an aircraft is seen flying overhead leaving a condensation trail - "Ah, that must be Austrian Airlines. He's leaving a marker so that he can find his way back home again tonight".

But seriously (I assume the Q WAS serious!) I've lived as a "permanent" resident in several different countries, and worked long-ish-term in many others. So my answer is that everywhere is like everywhere else in that some things are great, some, so-so, and other worse. Same here. There ARE some things which are definitely much better than UK (NO, I'm NOT listing them, it's only IMO); some things that are about the same; and some things that are definitely worse.

But my own experience is that you don't make a conscious decision to live someone else (well I didn't anyway), life just takes you there. For example my wife is Swiss (we both met elsewhere other than UK or Switzerland though), and at one time I used to work for the national airline (as was). In short, it just "sort of happens to you" (or not).

 

[Droogs]

I always considered the fact I couldn't use the washing machine after 10pm a major disadvantage when I lived in Zurich, that and the fact I could only use it one day a week and was usually at work for most of that day.

 

[Garno]

I always considered the fact I couldn't use the washing machine after 10pm a major disadvantage when I lived in Zurich, that and the fact I could only use it one day a week and was usually at work for most of that day.

Why?
Was it the neighbours or something?

 

[Droogs]

Most people rent in Zurich and have shared laundry facilities located usually in the mandatory fallout shelter, Never found a flat with the permissions to have a washing machine in the flat s kitchen as usually excluded in the lease. Legaly not allowed to do anything on a Sunday (like Germayny but worse) and as most "houses" are actually 6 flats each one gets a day to use the facility but the law also says you can't use any noisey stuff after 10 and the washer is too loud

 

[Garno]

Most people rent in Zurich and have shared laundry facilities located usually in the mandatory fallout shelter, Never found a flat with the permissions to have a washing machine in the flat s kitchen as usually excluded in the lease. Legaly not allowed to do anything on a Sunday (like Germayny but worse) and as most "houses" are actually 6 flats each one gets a day to use the facility but the law also says you can't use any noisey stuff after 10 and the washer is too loud

Wow I never knew that.

Just goes to show we never get too old to learn new things.

 

[Jester129]

People, thank you so very much for all the belly laughs and I have SOME belly!

 

[AES]

What Droogs says is basically quite true. Some of the rules and regs here are quite "intrusive"/"restrictive", depending on your point of view.

The rule Droogs is talking about refers to the fact that a block of flats here has one (or more depending on size) washing machine/dryer provided as a communal facility for all tenants. To ensure "fair play" all round, there's a rota system and each tenant/family has a specific day/time to use those facilities (include indoor drying space too).

The reason for the ban on use after "X pm" is like the ban on the use of your own shower/bath after "X pm" and is (I think) because some flats, especially the older properties, have a central heat/steam extractor which often seems to work it's way up through the centre of the building and is sometimes quite noisy. The idea of that is so that people who need to be early risers, shift workers, etc,etc, can get a good nights sleep. I've experienced that myself in 2 (older) flats) but not in the brand new one we rented. But still only my guesswork though.

Restrictive of "personal liberty"? Yes certainly, but the counter argument is "in the interests of the majority". NOT easy to live with when you first come here I agree, and one is a bit "taken aback" after living in, say, UK. But you learn to live with it (or not) like a number of other restrictive rules here. "Rough with the smooth" and all that.

Re your own washing machine in kitchen (or bathroom) I've never come across that one before (lived in 3 flats here total, before buying own house) and we always had our own so as not to use the communal facilities. Suggest that was a rule within the tenancy agreement brought in by that particular buildings owner (though tenancy agreements are "standardised" - per Kanton - in general here.

As in my previous post on this subject, there's a lot to "love" here, AND a lot to "hate" - just like everywhere else I've lived!

I'm not defending the above, just trying to explain it. If you're "footloose and fancy free" (???) like my wife and I were, you just get used to living with and more or less "accepting" all sorts of funny things. But I can well image that some people would find it difficult to accept such "petty restrictions" - e.g. NO mowing your lawn on a Sunday!!!!!!!!!!! (true).

 

[gregmcateer]

Now that was an unexpected, (though welcome and informative), diversion.
I only posted it as I thought it was a funny dad joke , as it's a Joke thread

 

[AES]

Now that was an unexpected, (though welcome and informative), diversion.
I only posted it as I thought it was a funny dad joke , as it's a Joke thread

Yeah, I must confess to being "guilty as charged" - I knew it's a joke thread I was posting on (I started on about Swiss "rules & regs" because I thought the Q was a serious one, and treated it as such), but clearly my post has nothing to do with jokes, sorry.

But just to finish it off "cleanly". IMO anyway, Droogs' post was a perfect illustration of how, if you decide to "import yourself" into someone else's country, then you must also be prepared to accept that what is your own "normal" (nothing to do with Covid here, promise!) then you must also be prepared to accept that your normal may well not be the same as the normal for someone who has lived in that country all their lives.

Anyway, I suggest we get back to jokes here. I haven't got any right now. Anyone else?

 

[gregmcateer]

Cheers, AES.

As to your challenge -
Why don't polar bears eat penguins?

Coz they can't get the wrappers off.

Sorry, hat, coat...

 

[Garno]

Yeah, I must confess to being "guilty as charged" - I knew it's a joke thread I was posting on (I started on about Swiss "rules & regs" because I thought the Q was a serious one, and treated it as such), but clearly my post has nothing to do with jokes, sorry.

Put your mind at rest, it absolutely was a serious question and I am very grateful for the answers it got.

P.S sorry for the temporary hijacking of the thread.

 

[Garno]

How does a woman scare a gynecologist?



by becoming a ventriloquist

 

[Droogs]

Not to worry Andy, I love my time in Switzerland. I adapted, improvised and overcame . I just haven't had a shower since 2008

 

[AES]

THANKS for that one gregmccateer - I think!

Not to worry Andy, I love my time in Switzerland. I adapted, improvised and overcame . I just haven't had a shower since 2008

Yeah Droogs, dead right mate. IMO it's all about adapting, improvising, and overcoming. From what I understand some emigrants to UK may do well to practice that philosophy a bit more(but I am MUCH out of date with UK these days, and anyway, I definitely do NOT want to start another red herring off).

Re showering. Yeah, I THOUGHT the re was "something" about you Droogs!!!!!!!

(Taste still improving I hope?)

 

[Droogs]

It is thank you, unfortunately not the smell
needed me thinks