(Another) Duck Joke

[AndyMenz]

A bloke arrives late at the cinema and feels his way to a seat. When the lights go on at the intermission he realises there's a duck in the next seat.
"Good grief," he exclaims. "You're a duck!"
"Yes," says the duck.
"What on earth is a duck doing at the movies!?"
"Well," says the duck. "I enjoyed the book so much..."

Haha! This is the best one, love it! =D> =D> =D>

 

[AES]

Great stuff all, keep 'em coming please.

AES

 

[graduate_owner]

Boy in English class says to Miss - "Miss, I ain't got no pencil"
Miss shudders, cringes and eventually recovers, and says:
"Dear boy,
you do not have a pencil,
I do not have a pencil,
he DOES NOT HAVE a pencil
they DO NOT HAVE a pencil

Now, what do you say?

Boy - "Who's nicked all the pencils Miss?"

K

 

[llangatwgnedd]

Dappy was recently hospitalised after being kicked in the head by a horse.

Music industry leaders are considering giving the 'Outstanding Contribution to Music Award' to the horse.

 

[Robbo3]

Bag Lady

A small old lady was walking down the street dragging two dustbin bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a £10 fell out onto the path.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are £10 notes falling out of that bag."

"Oh, really? Dam it!" said the old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop.“ Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back garden is right next to a Golf course.
A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower Garden. It used to really annoy me. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?
So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, really quiet, with my hedge clippers.
Every time someone sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., Give me £10, or off it comes.'

"Well, that seems only fair," said the policeman, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way,

what's in the other bag?"

"Not everybody pays."

 

[joethedrummer]

My Chinese neighbour said he has opened a crows shop. I said you mean a clothes shop, he says no a crows shop, you come in and have a rook,,,

 

[Jonzjob]

Who started this thread? One of the best giggles I've had for ages :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Lots of them are going straight from here onto another forum and I ain't arf gettin stick for some of them :twisted: :twisted:

So keep 'em commin folks !!

 

[AES]

Agreed Jonzjob - some of the stuff on this thread is so appalling and excrutiating that it's VERY funny!

Keep 'em coming folks

AES

 

[Grahamshed]

Did you know.....
That no matter where you are in the world.....
If you dig up all the worms in one cubic meter of soil and lined them all up nose to tail in a dead straight line.......
One of them would be bound to wriggle and spoil it ?

 

[andersonec]

This site should keep you all happy for a long time.

http://www.top10-best.com/

Andy

 

[joethedrummer]

Took the wife out to the local indian retaurant last night , we had curried pelican,, it tasted real good but the bill was enormous,,

 

[KevM]

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in the microwave until its Bill Withers...