OK. Serious again.
Realistically, I may be able to do something to recover this wood, but there's not a serious prospect of getting it indoors yet (no space, and it would be a 30-50 metre carry by hand with 10 years of undergrowth and a blocked gate in the way).
I can put wire or yard-brush clean it and put it "in stick" close to where it is now then a tarpaulin over the top - basically move the pile sideways and clean each one as it is transferred. Possibly I can hire a standalone water pressure cleaner if that would be better; we are 30m from the closest water supply and pressure would be poor.
Spacers could be scaffold planks (clearly not ideal as large contact area but I've got plently of them which are past their best for scaffolding), or perhaps fence posts, or something I buy in.
Then leave it until later in the autumn or the spring, when we've cleared some more things from around it for sensible access.
And I'll need to round up 3 or 4 mates to help move the big ones.
Would that be a good step forward?
Ferdinand