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Two Aussies are quietly sitting in a boat fishing and tubeing down a VB when suddenly **** says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months." Bill takes a sip out of his stubby and says, "You better think it over mate - women like that are hard to find."

A Guy is driving around Dublin when he sees a sign in front of a house. >"Talking Dog for Sale" So he stops and rings the bell and the owner said > that the Dog is in the back yard and to go and take a look. >The guy walks around to the back yard and sees a Labrador sitting there.” >You Talk?"...

A Professor of Economics explains Tax Cuts Sometimes politicians, journalists and others exclaim; "It's just a tax cut for the rich!" The statement is then accepted by a portion of the general population as fact, without questioning the basis thereof. Let's put tax cuts in terms that...

Golf and Mother Superior A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting, and confesses; "I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it." "When did you use this awful language?" asks the Mother Superior. "Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive, that...

After digging to a depth of 100m last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wiring dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago. So as not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists...

Little lad comes in and says, " Mommy,what's it called when one person lies on top of another?" Trying not to panic she replies "its called sexual intercourse" "Oh" he replied and went back out He returned sometime later and said "You've got that all wrong Mommy, it isn't called...

Two recent court cases, have earned the attention of newspaper readers > in South Africa . > > > 1. One person was fined R1 000 for not having a TV license. > 2. Another was released on bail for R500 after being arrested for > murder. > > The moral of this South African story: > > If you do not...

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight. When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills. The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad; they're very strong and very expensive." "How much?" asked Grandpa...

A junior school teacher in Liverpool asked her pupils to use the word >>"fascinate" in a sentence. >> >>Mary put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, >>and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating." >> >>The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the...

Total solution! - Few beers instead of coffee. 8) 8) 8)

Roger is right, check the base and any exposed areas. The weight would depend on the type of particle board used, or they could have used a low cost wood and then veneered. Veneer used in the "old" days would have had quite a good thickness compared to modern day 0.8mm. With modern veneered...

57 and about 9/12 .... (You are only as old as the lady that you have your hands on) 8)

Great shot Bob! The closest we get is the Steppe Buzzard. Living next to a nature reserve, the raptors tend to keep away from the residential gardens. They can be seen circling above the reserve, especially the Black Eagle. Now and again in daytime we can see the Spotted Eagle Owl. :D 8)

Hello Bob, yes i did thanks, good to hear from you. You must have a great new year and that also goes for all the woodies! :D May your slide down the the 2007 banister be in the same direction as the grain. 8) 8) 8)

A very merry Xmas and a great 2007 to all you good people! (Hope Santa brought you what you wanted, just remeber he gets to us 2 hours ahead of you, so i suspect we may get the best!) Cheers Phil :D 8) :D 8) :D 8)

Welcome John! Cheers with beer!!! :D :D :D :D

1½ cups fresh white breadcrumbs 1 pumpkin, about 3 kg 7 tablespoons soft butter salt & freshly ground pepper 1 large onion, finely chopped freshly grated nutmeg ½ teaspoon dried sage ½ cup grated Gruyere cheese chicken stock (about 3 cups) 1 bay leaf ½ cup hot cream chopped parsley Dry...

Good luck with the move, and dont forget the the LSS "Life Support System", the BEER! Phil :D :D :D :D :D

Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang. "Hallo Mr Hussein!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy, down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!" "Well...

Yea right, as if you are the sharpest tool in the workshop. Yea right, as if you are the brightest bulb in the chandelier. Yea right, which portrait painter rejected you? Wonder why the Louvre rejected your portrait? With a body like that, have you considered leaving it to Medical Research...