What exactly are 'ceramide R's' ?

[barkwindjammer]

How To Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to
do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man


Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair.

Make a Shampoo Mohican.

Wee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.

Admire willy size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

 

[Max Power]

=D> \/ =D> ccasion5:

 

[Jonzjob]

What a strange man or woman who uses shampoo with all of the deadly chemicals in it?

ll you need is warm water. We haven't used shampoo for over 20 years now and both our health and pockets are better for it!

Just one of the sites that give some of the problems http://hubpages.com/hub/Chemical-substa ... h-problems

And, who in their right mind pays to wash the natural oils out of their hair and then pays again to put some chemical rubbish that looks like the oils you have just washed out back again? Sheer lunacy!

 

[Max Power]

:roll: bet you don't use deodorant either :shock:

 

[Jonzjob]

You bin lookin in my barfroom kibinet Mr Jones?

More chemicals!! [-X [-X

 

[big soft moose]

:roll: bet you don't use deodorant either :shock:

well he is in france - when in rome and all that :lol:

 

[Jonzjob]

Not being at all pikkie BSM (That stands for British School of Motoring dun't it?), but last time I looked Rome was in Italy not Froggieland me awd stag?? :-k :-k

 

[Max Power]

All jokes aside , good on you John theres far too many dangerous chemicals in use everywhere and if you can maintain a fair level of personal hygiene without them thats great.
Reminds me however of a local character who was rumoured to of last been in water when he was baptised. I passed him about 5 miles away in the rain and being the all round good egg that I am gave him a lift.
:shock: BIG MISTAKE, it was the longest 5 miles I ever drove, he would have given Pepe le Pew a run for his money :lol: :lol:

 

[Jonzjob]

We do try as much as we can to steer clear of all the chemicals that we can and we haven't had any complaints about us yet 8) 8)

As a matter of interest we both gave up using shampoo about 20 years back and when we first had our haidresser round to cut our hair she wouldn't believe that we didn't use the stuff! 8) All we do is to rinse our hair in warm water when it's needed. OH has long hiar too. Shorter than it was, but still longish.

 

[samharber]

A common (yet dangerous) chemical in far too many products is dihydrogen monoxide. It's responsible for more deaths per year than all other chemicals in the cosmetics industry combined. Often the manufacturers call it by another name just to confuse you, as they don't want you to know it is in their products.
It may be worth writing to your MP about its excessive use in the cosmetics industry.

Just a thought.

 

[Jonzjob]

http://www.netreach.net/~rjones/no_dhmo.html

After looking at that, I am not really surprised Sam!!