Well, There you go.

[SketchUp Guru]

A guy goes into a seafood restaurant and asks to see the dishes of the day. The waiter wheels over a trolley and the man examines the dishes.

"I'll have the little green squid with the hairy lip, please" says the man. "O.K." replies the waiter and calls out "Gervais!"

A little French chef appears with a large knife, the waiter instructs the chef to kill the little green squid with the hairy lip.

Gervais is just about to slice at the poor squid when he notices a tear running down its face. Gervais is touched, and admits that he hasn't the heart to kill the squid.

"Not to worry" says the waiter, and calls out "Hans!!" at which an enormous German bloke comes out of the kitchen. "Sir", says the waiter, "this is Hans, the dishwasher. Hans, kill that squid!"

The dishwasher wields a huge rolling pin and is just about to bludgeon the little green squid with the hairy lip when it cringes back and gives a little cry.

"I am sorry sir, I just cannot kill the squid" Hans admits, his lower lip trembling.

"Well sir," says the waiter, "it just goes to show, ahem...

"Hans who does dishes, can be soft as Gervais. With mild green, hairy lip squid!"

 

[Philly]

Awww noooo......... :lol:

Didn't see that one coming....
Philly

 

[Digit]

Yeeeeuk! :lol:

Roy.

 

[llangatwgnedd]

Groan

 

[Steve Maskery]

There's no jokes like the old jokes, eh, Dave?



A man walks into a pub and as he walks past the cigarette machine, the machine shouts at him.

"Oi! You! What are you doing here, we don't want your type, here. You are fat, you are stupid and your wife's a trollop. Clear off back to your sty!"

The man doesn't know what to say, but as he approaches the bar, there is bowl of peanuts on the counter, which says to him:

"Good evening, Sir, and Welcome. It's an honour to have someone with such charm, talent, wit and good looks visit our humble establishment, I do hope you have a most enjoyable evening".

The man is most perplexed, so when the barman asks for his order, he tells him what the cigarette machine and bowl of peanuts said to him, and asked what was going on.

"Nothing to worry about, Sir," says the bartender, "The cigarette machine is out of order and the peanuts are complimentary."

Ya-ta-ta-ta, ta-ta, taa-aaa-aaah!

 

[houtslager]

:roll: groan !

k

 

[Tony Spear]

here's even more of an old chestnut!

A white horse walks into a pub, goes to the bar and orders a pint.

When the barman has drawn the beer, he puts it on the counter and says: "'ere, we got a drink on the shelf named after you!"

And the horse says..........

















"Wot! Eric?"

 

[Racers]

Hi,

Q, Why do Elephants have big ears?





















A, Because Noddy wont pay the ransom!




Pete

 

[DaveL]

Why do cows wear bells?



























Their horns don't work. :roll:

 

[Benchwayze]

A horse, an alligator and a wolf walked into a pub.
The landlord said...

















































What's this? Some kind of joke? :roll:

 

[Digit]

There was an Englishman, a Scotsman and....no, better not! :lol:

Roy.

 

[SketchUp Guru]

A horse walks into a pub and orders a pint. The bartender asks, "So, why the long face?"

 

[Steve Maskery]

Now look what you've started!
S

 

[SketchUp Guru]

:lol: