....you are likely to get a visit from the boys in blue ... it has been known to be the armed response unit.
That reminds me of a supposedly-true story - but I suspect it isn't! - from many years ago.
Bloke, 3am, woken from sleep by noises coming from his garage.
Rings 999 and reports that he thinks 2 burglars are inside.
Operator confirms the address and details, but then admits there are no patrols nearby. They'll get to the caller asap.
3.15am, the bloke rings again.
"A third bloke has turned up with a pickup parked outside! In the gloom I can see that they're carting my power tools out to the van!"
Again, the operator confirms receipt of the info, but claims that the boys in blue have been called to a different incident, and in the wrong direction...but they'll get to him asap.
3.25am, the bloke rings once more.
"For Christ's sake! They're trying to break into the back of the house now! Get a move on!"
The operator again apologises for the now-normal reasons, stating it'll be a good 30 minutes before any officer can get there. "Just stay out of sight, and try and keep safe..."
3.30am, the bloke's on the phone again.
"It's OK now...I'm safe. There's no rush."
The operator says "Ah, good! Have they gone?"
"In an manner of speaking, yes. I've just shot all three of 'em...."
Within 5 minutes, the bloke's house was surrounded by 4 armed response units, two speed units and a helicopter with full searchlight active, was circling the area.
The officer in charge hammered on the bloke's door.
"Where's your gun? Is it licenced properly? Where are the victims?!"
"Oh, they've long gone!"
"But you reported you'd shot them!"
"Yes...but you said you had nobody available....."
from memory it makes them swell up and explode? I think someone did it in brighton train station when i was a lot younger
