The things your parents said to you...

[woodhutt]

As a nipper, every New Years Day my Dad told me if I looked out of the front window onto the street, I'd see the man who has a nose for every day of the year. I would faithfully kneel at the window watching for this phenomenon and once even thought I caught a glimpse of him as he boarded a bus.
I must have been about 5 when my older brother clued me in.

 

[Ttrees]

Always be happy, but never be satisfied!
Tell the truth, and shame the divil!
Health to wear, strength to tear, and money to buy a better pair.

 

[aet1]

I have something I wish my parents had said: "for heaven's sake don't marry her" and if they had I wish I had listened.

 

[Jameshow]

I have something I wish my parents had said: "for heaven's sake don't marry her" and if they had I wish I had listened.

Someone said that to me wish I had listened!!

 

[Pabs]

They just told me to leave home so I did.
I wish I could remember something more profound but I cannot.
but then again I was only 16. I probs didn't even know what profound meant back then.

 

[Jacob]

My old dad told me that eskimos lived on ice-cream. He never said what flavours though. Probably fishy.

 

[Kittyhawk]

If something was on and we had to get the good gear on my mother would say something like 'we're going out, go and get changed.' And on coming home she would tell us to 'go and get unchanged.'
Never meant anything at the time but in retrospect I think perhaps we were the only kids in all creation that ever had to get 'unchanged.'

 

[XTiffy]

When I was working on fitting a new kitchen in a house, the housekeeper started a conversation about her Grand child "throwing a tandem". I still love that phrase and use it to this day! Bye the Bye these forums need a spell checker, my keyboard keeps printing the wrong words.

 

[imageel]

My Father being ex-RN in WW-II had a rich stock of verbal put-downs, one I remember well when you'd transgressed to the point of physical violence was -
If you do that again I'll hit you so hard you'll have to stick a toothbrush up your @RSE to clean your teeth....
/Ed

 

[Clatters]

If something was lost, but later found, my mum would say, “It’s always in the last place you look.” If I pointed out that once you’d found it you wouldn’t carry on looking, she pointed out that I was “…just being silly.”

 

[Jameshow]

Or where did you put it...

If I knew where I put it, I wouldn't be looking for it!!!

 

[Dave Moore]

When I’ve listen to guys having daft off saying’ I’ll hit you that many times you’ll think you are surrounded.’

 

[stuart little]

I'm not sure why this is here?!
I don't recall pressing the 'post reply' button, although I did find the 'hens nose full' comment funny when I read it.
Maybe I meant to comment but then.....



Oh dear. Only incontinence to go....

Is that when one travels to mainland Europe?

 

[Cozzer]

Is that when one travels to mainland Europe?

That's the one, Stu.
Just east of Anorexia, and next to Chlamydia....

 

[Fergie 307]

A favourite of my dad's when describing someone who was a bit clumsy, " you could give him a battleship to dust and he'd break it"

 

[Tom P]

When I worked offshore in the oil and gas industry. There was a saying, give a diver 3 ball bearings and he'll lose one, break the second and steal the third. No disrespect to divers, I used to be one

 

[MikeJhn]

An ex girlfriend from Glasgow had the expression "If he fell out the window he would fall up the way" I suppose it meant he was lucky?

 

[Keith 66]

Mum used tell me, "Dont pick your nose, It will end up like a pound pear", This was reinforced by being told If i picked my nose i would end up like the bloke in Knightleys news agents who did indeed have a huge conk!

One of Dads favorite sayings was "There is nothing more ingenious than a congenital idiot".

 

[Phil Pascoe]

I was in Baghdad before you were in your dad's bag.

 

[ps.harris80]

My Grandmother always said. Look after your knees you will miss them when they are gone.

My Grandfather always said. When you have sex always wear a condom, if she will have sex with you she will have had sex with anyone

You could tell which one was in the Navy can't you.