Raising money for homeless veterans

[Bingy man]

I guess it was really, only difference really was that I got to go home at the weekend, being over autumn and winter that was without doubt the hardest 8 to 9 months of my life, SWMBO thought I was safe in the office, I never told her when I got caught, I only recently told her the truth about some of the things I've had to do to keep a roof over our heads, she was absolutely furious after I told her.

Yes I doubt a lot of wives or partners know what we as men have endured . I’m not in anyway wanting to diminish what women go through - childbirth, raising children, equality, etc but it’s a well known fact that men bottle up our problems and don’t to easily talk about our issues. We don’t tell our partners because we don’t want to give them the additional burden on top of what else they have to cope with ( as per your other thread ) and eventually like the proverbial champagne bottle-the cork can no longer hold back the pressure.. we have bright blue skies and a warm day today so hopefully warmer weather is on the horizon. Thanks for you effort stig I’m not sure I could do that ..

 

[paulrbarnard]

There are 2 fundraising pages, not sure why they don't it that way, causes confusion, my total so far is £895.
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You have your £1000 target.

 

[Bingy man]

I’ve also just sent a donation as what you are doing is amazing and hope you are feeling extremely proud of yourself ..

 

[Stigmorgan]

@paulrbarnard @Bingy man wow, thank you both so much

 

[Stigmorgan]

Yes I doubt a lot of wives or partners know what we as men have endured . I’m not in anyway wanting to diminish what women go through - childbirth, raising children, equality, etc but it’s a well known fact that men bottle up our problems and don’t to easily talk about our issues. We don’t tell our partners because we don’t want to give them the additional burden on top of what else they have to cope with ( as per your other thread ) and eventually like the proverbial champagne bottle-the cork can no longer hold back the pressure.. we have bright blue skies and a warm day today so hopefully warmer weather is on the horizon. Thanks for you effort stig I’m not sure I could do that ..

So true, I think we all have our difficulties but traditionally men don't talk about it, as you say, I just got on with what needed to be done and let her think everything was fine, she has always had issues with family and a pain condition to manage so why add to that if I didn't need to.

Today's has been gorgeous so I took the opportunity to get the garden grass sorted as I've not touched it all winter, started off by borrowing the schools strimmer to get the worst of it cut then raked it up making sure to get deep into the base to remove all the dead grass and moss then finally a quick run over with the mower to even it all up, as you can see, the area directly outside the back door has taken a battering from the dogs, not sure how I'm going to fix it yet, I'd like to put a deck up but that costs money and I'm loath to spend much seeing as it's the schools property. I am now suitably tired and ready for dinner

 

[Bingy man]

So true, I think we all have our difficulties but traditionally men don't talk about it, as you say, I just got on with what needed to be done and let her think everything was fine, she has always had issues with family and a pain condition to manage so why add to that if I didn't need to.

Today's has been gorgeous so I took the opportunity to get the garden grass sorted as I've not touched it all winter, started off by borrowing the schools strimmer to get the worst of it cut then raked it up making sure to get deep into the base to remove all the dead grass and moss then finally a quick run over with the mower to even it all up, as you can see, the area directly outside the back door has taken a battering from the dogs, not sure how I'm going to fix it yet, I'd like to put a deck up but that costs money and I'm loath to spend much seeing as it's the schools property. I am now suitably tired and ready for dinner
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I actually planned to do my garden but a visit to see my mom ( care home ) so it’s like seeing 15 moms and 15 dads ,, went to see my mate who,s 14 years old dog died yesterday,, and finally to visit my son ( autistic spectrum ) who hasn’t had his faulty computer for over a week . My neighbour has fixed it and he’s a happy bunny . So the mild day was very pleasant but the garden will have to wait .. I was in town recently and a rather scruffy young lady approached me and started talking- I immediately judged that she was going to claim she was homeless, and if I had any spare change . Before I could say I don’t have any cash on me she began the expected response of being homeless, and could I help her . I asked what I could do to help ( expecting the “spare change “ request) but to my complete surprise she asked if I could get her a hot drink . I told the lady in Greggs to take her order and she ordered a hot chocolate, asking her if she was ok she then asked if she could have a sausage roll to which I asked the Greggs lady to give her 4 . The homeless girl beamed a smile and simply said thank you. And off she went . My son asked why I helped her and I replied it’s one thing to be homeless but imagine being hungry and thirsty as well . Also end of the day I don’t know her story and she could be a total con artist but I can’t refuse someone a drink and something to eat for the price of a few ££ . She is still someone’s daughter, mother , sister etc . I think your thread has reminded me to consider others that are not as fortunate ..

 

[Stigmorgan]

I actually planned to do my garden but a visit to see my mom ( care home ) so it’s like seeing 15 moms and 15 dads ,, went to see my mate who,s 14 years old dog died yesterday,, and finally to visit my son ( autistic spectrum ) who hasn’t had his faulty computer for over a week . My neighbour has fixed it and he’s a happy bunny . So the mild day was very pleasant but the garden will have to wait .. I was in town recently and a rather scruffy young lady approached me and started talking- I immediately judged that she was going to claim she was homeless, and if I had any spare change . Before I could say I don’t have any cash on me she began the expected response of being homeless, and could I help her . I asked what I could do to help ( expecting the “spare change “ request) but to my complete surprise she asked if I could get her a hot drink . I told the lady in Greggs to take her order and she ordered a hot chocolate, asking her if she was ok she then asked if she could have a sausage roll to which I asked the Greggs lady to give her 4 . The homeless girl beamed a smile and simply said thank you. And off she went . My son asked why I helped her and I replied it’s one thing to be homeless but imagine being hungry and thirsty as well . Also end of the day I don’t know her story and she could be a total con artist but I can’t refuse someone a drink and something to eat for the price of a few ££ . She is still someone’s daughter, mother , sister etc . I think your thread has reminded me to consider others that are not as fortunate ..

Love this, I'm too would rather give food and drink rather than cash, not just because of the risk of it being a scam but if the person is truly homeless then there's a good chance they are also using drugs/alcohol as a coping mechanism and I couldn't live with myself if they were to OD using money I had given them.

 

[Bingy man]

Love this, I'm too would rather give food and drink rather than cash, not just because of the risk of it being a scam but if the person is truly homeless then there's a good chance they are also using drugs/alcohol as a coping mechanism and I couldn't live with myself if they were to OD using money I had given them.

Exactly right - I mentioned this early in this thread , someone mentioned that i shouldn’t judge if they want cash but in giving cash you are enabling that habit to continue and I’d not thought of it as you have said that if ( god forbid) they o d then I’d certainly not be comfortable knowing I’d indirectly helped that person to o d .

 

[Stigmorgan]

Exactly right - I mentioned this early in this thread , someone mentioned that i shouldn’t judge if they want cash but in giving cash you are enabling that habit to continue and I’d not thought of it as you have said that if ( god forbid) they o d then I’d certainly not be comfortable knowing I’d indirectly helped that person to o d .

To be completely honest, my view on it only came around after watching a film/ tv program where someone was given money and used it to buy drugs and then died using said drugs, strange how some things stick in the mind

 

[Bingy man]

To be completely honest, my view on it only came around after watching a film/ tv program where someone was given money and used it to buy drugs and then died using said drugs, strange how some things stick in the mind

So very true - I can’t pass someone while I’m walking to my local shops 10 mins away . Elderly, disabled or anyone looking confused , I’d rather ask if they are ok rather than assume they are as it only takes a few seconds to check. Had an elderly couple completely lost and totally confused - they had waited over 1 hour but nobody even asked if they were ok . Another fella was sitting in his mobility scooter on an extremely hot day - he told me his scooter had broken down but help was coming- I offered to get him a bottle of water but again he had a flask. Sometime you just need to ask the question- amazing good it makes you feel .. good luck tonight ..

 

[Stigmorgan]

So very true - I can’t pass someone while I’m walking to my local shops 10 mins away . Elderly, disabled or anyone looking confused , I’d rather ask if they are ok rather than assume they are as it only takes a few seconds to check. Had an elderly couple completely lost and totally confused - they had waited over 1 hour but nobody even asked if they were ok . Another fella was sitting in his mobility scooter on an extremely hot day - he told me his scooter had broken down but help was coming- I offered to get him a bottle of water but again he had a flask. Sometime you just need to ask the question- amazing good it makes you feel .. good luck tonight ..

Small acts of compassion can have huge positive effects
Not out tonight, plan is to do evry Friday and Saturday night in March, that's the 10 nights I've promised, don't want a bad night's sleep to affect work, in the unlikely event I exceed £1100 then I'll look doing work nights later in the month when it's warmer so I'll be able to sleep