I was expecting this: :roll:
Recent events have given me cause to consult Doctor Rudi Beetlebaumhausen, Professor of Psychiatry at the Institute of Repulsive Compulsive Disorders in Vienna. I thought others might be interested in the transcript of our conversation.
Guten Morgen, Herr Professor
Guten Morgen. It is interesting that should have chosen to say Good Morning, and not wiv zer hello... Could zis be a manifestation of zer sub-conscious alvays seeking to start ze day anew I vunder? Tell me-
Er, could we leave that for now and get to the main point? What is your professional opinion of zis? Er, I mean, this?
Ah, verrrry interesting. I am, of course, familiar viv zis gentleman. He is now vun of my examples for my students. A very interesting case.
But why does he do it?
Vell, it is qvite simple. He has a compulsive desire to cause jealousy, desire and drool damage to voodvorkers and their keyboards. Ve are calling zis "Droolhausen by Proxy". Zis is ein small tribute to meinself, with which I am proud.
Voodvorkers?
Ja, ja. Vorkers in vood, mit der plane unt the chisels, ja?
Oh, you mean woodworkers!
Ja, that is vot I am saying. In most case zis manifests itself in der showing of, er, vot do you call zem in zer vernacular...?
Gloats?
Ja, gloats. In showing zeese "gloats" to vun or two known voodvorking friends. But in recent cases zis has become more widespread amongst zer sufferers and zey are making der gloats to many hundreds, even zousands, of innocent voodvorkers. Ve are calling this "Mass Droolhausen by Proxy" here at zer Institute.
Yes, I've noticed the phenomenon... But what makes this case so special?
Hmm, "phenomenon" is ein interesting choice of vord...
But about this case, Herr Beetlebaumhausen...?
Ah, zat is verrrry simple qvestion to answer. This sufferer has taken zings much further unt started to manufacturer his own items for sale. This causes zer spread of zer drooling to come not just from the sufferer, but from zose persons who purchase zeese items and also make the gloating to further voodvorkers. It is a remarkable case, is it not?
Indeed.
Ve are calling zis aspect of zer condition "Mass Droolhausen Proxy by Proxy" - but only after we haf taken the deep breath. Usually ve are calling it MDPP. Zer side effects are of interest also.
Oh?
Ja, voodvorkers are now not knowing ven to call zer plane "low angle" unt ven to call it "bevel up". I am already seeing many cases caused by zis confusion...
But Professor, is there a cure for MDPP?
Alas, no, ve are not finding such a cure. Ve believe the patient's condition can only vorsen.
Vorsen?
Ja, vorsen. Already zis search for zer coffee mug is causing me zer heebie jeebies. Zis could be zer sign of deterioration in his condition zat ve haf been expecting. I vould suggest zer is great danger of zer increased risk of new items appearing soon from zis gentleman. Avoid ze website and your mailbox at all costs!
Ah, sound advice, Professor. Thank you. Erm... d'you think I should be avoiding reviewing these items as well then?
VOT?!!! You are vun of zer vuns who is helping this man in his delusions?! Making vis the searching for zer pictures unt everyzing?!
Vun of zer vuns, what?
Ve must take action! Zis vill not hurt vun bit...
Vot vont? Er, what... erm, I don't really like injections that mu... Ooooo, pretty colours... Thank you, Professor. You've bee... Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Eventually the effects wore off and these canvas jackets are surprisingly comfortable. Apparently there's a good chance I can be cured of my compulsion to say "whilst" as well; sort of a two for one offer... No knowledge of German was harmed in the making of this post, and of course Rob isn't under the care of Professor Beetlebaumhausen of Vienna.
No, it's Professor Bootlebaumhausen of Hamburg... :wink:
Duckin' and Runnin', Alf
