Life Style Change

[Waka]

It's come at last, with only 7 days to go before retirement. I thought I'd be dancing with joy, but for some reason that I can't understand, I'm not.

Anybody else out there feel the same just before thay retired?

 

[WoodStoat]

Well, I haven't retired, but my Dad was absolutely lost for about a year after he did. When you think about it, a person spends more of their adult life at work than doing everything else combined, plus it's often on one's mind in the evenings and mornings. Whole social networks are made and sustained through work - it's hardly to be wondered at when the removal of all that leaves people at a loose end.

I think people think of retirement chiefly as the end of something disagreeable at first, ie no more pretending to respect superiors you wouldn't personally pay tuppence an hour to clean lavatories or peel spuds, selling time you'd more productively spend in the workshop or the pub or chasing women etc. Then as it approaches and they've finished chortling at the thought of giving one or two people a piece of their mind, the realisation comes that the old place is going to carry on pretty much as before without you, so if that's the case, why did you spend all those years trying so hard - what was the point?

Apparently, lots of university students get depressed after graduation - it's been their entire life for three or four years, and it's over, gone, everyone is off. Some of them stay on in the city they studied in, like old soldiers who stay in the places they were demobbed, hanging around their old haunts like so many flying dutchmen.

In my Dad's case, he solved the problem by throwing himself into golf, freemasonry and (more understandably from my point of view) a new and younger wife.

 

[wizer]

Whilst I understand the concept Waka, I can not imagine being unhappy about retiring. Actually, the fact that it's 40yrs away for me is quite depressing Obviously you have done a job which you love and going to work has not been a chore. I think that a few of us around here would be envious of such a privilege. I wish you good luck in your new 'venture'. I am sure after time you will find many things to occupy your time.

 

[Paul Chapman]

I think it's a bit like milestone birthdays. People say "How does it feel to be 60?". Well, actually it feels exactly the same as it did yesterday :?

Anyway, enjoy it when it comes - it's the best job I've ever had :lol:

Cheers :wink:

Paul

 

[woodbloke]

Waka - I've got 5 years to go before I retire and I think I can understand how you feel at the mo', I suppose its the breaking of the social/work strand and you may be wondering what to replace it with- I think that's how I will feel. For me I intend to replace work with as many active occupations as I can (may even go shelf filling 3 days a week in Tesco's :shock: ), obviously spend allot more time in the 'shop, continue with walking weekends occasionally (Rambler's etc) and take up touring cycling - for me, I think the main thing would be to keep myself busy and occupied all the time - Rob

 

[Waka]

Its not that I'm worried about what to do when I retire, what with the Workshop, narrow Boat and travelling I'll have more than enough to keep me busy.

I guess its more to do with have been an overseas traveller for the last 32 years and never having lived at home like a normal human being for that length of time thats going to take some getting used too. My wife and I have been apart for probably 50% of our married life, so i'm thinking theres going to be some adjustments to make before I can settle comfortably into home life.

I'm sure it will all work out fine and I'll be wondering why I didn't do it earlier.

Thanks for the comments guys.

 

[Shultzy]

I retired in March after 36 years in Engineering and IT. Loved every minute of it. As the day to leave came closer the doubts began to creep in. Monday morning got up at the usual time sat down, read yesterdays paper, then wondered what to do. The problem was too many things I wanted to do, I didn't know which one to start. When you add to this the fact there is no one to talk to (swimbo still works) change of dietary conditions, no more rushed breakfasts, sitting down for lunch, it can leave you unsettled.

My "solution" was to pick a long term project, one that you can leave for periods to do other things and then come back to. I'm designing a workshop in the back garden as the one I have at the moment in at the back of my garage. Since I retired I've layed a new slab and move the old shed on to it, felled a 40ft sycamore and grubbed up the roots and I'm currently digging out the base for my new workshop.

I also have a list, as long as your arm, which I do in between working on the workshop.

So after 8 months I feel great, and am very contented. I don't want to work for anybody else.

I wish you well and hope you have a happy retirement. Like me you won't be one of those who retire, sit down and "wait for god"

PS. btw I'm "only" 56 so hopefully will have a long retirement.

 

[RogerS]

My wife and I have been apart for probably 50% of our married life, so i'm thinking theres going to be some adjustments to make before I can settle comfortably into home life.

Aye...Waka...and there's the rub DAMHIKT.

Ditto. I've lived and worked apart for not quite as long as you nor probably for such extended periods away from home.

For what it's worth...I liken our (me and the missus) relationship to two boulders in a river bed...lying against one another for a very long time. The two boulders get used to their respective way of living...over the years, the river current wears them and they co-exist comfortably together (as in working/living apart for days/weeks/months). They develop their own way of living. Then comes along a small flood which separates them (as in returning home from a tour of duty/work)...and when the flood has subsided, they find that they're not quite meshing as comfortably together as they did....until the passage of time and the river currents slowly micro-adjust/nudge them back together. And life goes on.

And then, there is the flood of all floods, and the two boulders are thrown apart a bit further. It does take a lot more to get them back together. And I reckon that you now /feel that you are in that position. It's going to be difficult for the two of you to adjust. Your wife has her way of doing things/her hobbies/interests/friends....and up until now she has always known that you'll be off on your travels and she can get back to her 'life' without Waka. Suddenly that ain't going to happen and I can understand your apprehension.

My advice is: go into the workshop and let her have her own space to get used to having you around the place. Do not feel guilty. Talk!

On no account:

a) feel guilty about the time she spends shopping/washing/cleaning etc
b) at least until you get the hint that it is time for you to do your share

and THE MOST IMPORTANT PIECE OF ADVICE IS THIS....

DO NOT...REPEAT NOT....GO SHOPPING TOGETHER IN THE SUPERMARKET!!!! DAMHIKT DAMHIKT DAMHIKT

It will work out...but it does take time...bonne chance, mon ami.

 

[Nigel]

Hi Waka
I have been retired now for just over a year, I did not spend time away from home like you but worked shifts for 30 years so I was at home during the week and invariably at work during Bank Holidays and Xmas

To me now every day is a holiday to do what I want to do and my wife says I have stopped turning into Victor Meldrew and is pleased to have me at home

I try to remember we both need our own space as we had when working
also that it will be the first day of the rest of your life so enjoy it you have earned it
good luck
Nigel

 

[Waka]

Guys

Thanks again for the support.

 

[CHJ]

Hi Waka, congrats on making retirement, I thought the Tuesday count must have been up by now.

As others have said get hold of a couple of projects, possibly something if not totally different then something requiring a subtle change of skills and not involving to many grey cells.

I was lucky enough to retire at 52 and 14 yrs later there are still not enough hours in the day.

In my case the associated earth moving, mixing and laying of 30+ ton of concreting for paths, yards, footings etc. and bricklaying half height walls and constructing a large conservatory took care of any time allocation adjustments for the first few months.

Pay SWIMBO a bit of extra attention and fit in a subtle change of routine involving her and a regular, preferably not routine, days out, she will forgive the fact that a boy toy establishment or place of interest slips into the equation now and again if it means she gets to experience a change of scenery and meet new people etc.

Watch out for the 'collectors', don't let them influence the disposal of you pocket money to much. You do not want to let them lead you astray. :twisted:

 

[Waka]

Watch out for the 'collectors', don't let them influence the disposal of you pocket money to much. You do not want to let them lead you astray.

Chas, thats my biiggest worry, what with Philly and Martin on my doorstep I need to be extra careful.

Hope to see you at the next Yandles show, just had a thought I can go to them all now

 

[BrianD]

Waka, congrats of the big day.

As others have said everything, I'll just relay my father's experience.

He retired in his fifties and drove my mother wild. To the point where she chucked him out of the house and stated that he can only come back in at 18:00 as he used.

Well he moped eveywhere and was a PITA. (Mourning yada...yada, which I appreciated is pretty normal even due to the break)

The he took up a part time job, he was happier and so it progressed into a "full-time" job; this not being the idea.

He "retired" again and drove my mother nuts again. He was in his 60s

He the took it upon himself to start a project. So he then used his equipment and started repairing specialised instrumentation and so on. He was happy and making some 'pin' money. This carried him into is 70s.

When he was about 75 he decided to start a new project, he built, by himself a second brick and mortar double garage and tool workshop. This tool him quite a while as he insisted on doing it all himself. He even fell off a ladder and got it in the neck from my mother.

Since then he has rewalled the property and refurbished the house.

He is now 87, my mother passed away last year yet he has carried on. He is leaving this Friday to go on a trip to Namibia to see some friends and go fishing. Oh, he is driving up from Cape Town in a 4x4.

The moral of the story, it seems he learnt, is that retiring does not mean stop but you now have the choice of using your time on what you want!

You know all those "things" you wanted to do that you never had the time? Make an honest list and start at number 1. Retiring does not mean stop working at all except you can achieve your goals rather than someone else's.

My 2p worth not earned from my experience.

I hope when I get there I take a LARGE leaf from my old man's lesson book and follow suit, I cannot imagine not. Like him (88 this month) and all family members before him we seem to live a loong life so I better keep myself busy or I gonna be bored!

Wishing you the best and enjoy.

 

[Nigel]

thats my biiggest worry, what with Philly and Martin on my doorstep I need to be extra careful.

From what I remember at Yandles they are not the only ones :wink:

Don't forget from your wifes point of view she now has twice the husband and half the salary

Nigel

 

[pidgeonpost]

Waka...I took early retirement 18 months ago aged 56. The good bits are pretty obvious - no crack-of-dawn starts, no horrendous commuting - the list is long.
I missed the people, and the routine - it provided structure to most of the day, and with no structure it's easy to drift. I, and a few other people I know who jacked it in have a definite structure to their week - i.e. always go for a long walk one day a week, always see mates for a beer one or two nights, always play golf on a Thursday or whatever. If your routine is too fluid you can end up doing all the crap stuff, and none of the fun stuff. At present my own balance is toward the mundane end of the scale - but I'm working on it!
I still miss the money of course, but it ain't as bad as I thought.
In my experience, the answer is to try and do more of the things that you want to do. I say 'try' because if you're like me you may not get the ratio right straight away. This is particularly so if your wife is still working, as you will likely spend more time than you're comfortable with with either a tea-towel, paintbrush, lawnmower, or something equally boring in your hand, rather than the plane, chisel etc you had hoped for!
I do a bit of part-time work when the phone rings, and help out at a local timber cooperative one day a week. It does take time to build the new life-style though.
Good luck!

 

[mahking51]

Chas, thats my biggest worry, what with Philly and Martin on my doorstep I need to be extra careful.

Waka, that is sooooooo rich coming from you!

Regards
martin

 

[Anonymous]

HI EVERYBODY It was retirement, that made them invent trees and hobbies.

The hobby of woodwork was the first to be invented, but they realised you had to have something to hobby with, so that's why they had to invent trees, to give you something to hobby with.

They also invented quilting, sewing and needlework, so the better half could also be a hobbyist, but in a different room.

And then they invented wine, to give you an excuse to sit together in the evening and chat about your hobbies

cheers
john www.jbwoodcraft.co.uk