European Language Directive

[Steve Maskery]

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as Euro-English (Euro for short)

In the first year, “s” will be used instead of the soft “c”. Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also the hard “c” will be replased with “k”. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters will have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replased by “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20 % shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent “e’s” in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps, such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords containing “ou”, and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

 

[Jacob]

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as Euro-English (Euro for short)

In the first year, “s” will be used instead of the soft “c”. Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also the hard “c” will be replased with “k”. Not only will this klear up confusion, but typewriters will have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the second year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replased by “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20 % shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent “e’s” in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps, such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords containing “ou”, and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

Tha wunt ayit in Derbyshire yothe!

 

[MMUK]

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as Euro-English (Euro for short)

In the first year, “s” will be used instead of the soft “c”. Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also the hard “c” will be replased with “k”. Not only will this klear up confusion, but typewriters will have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the second year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replased by “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20 % shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent “e’s” in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps, such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”.

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords containing “ou”, and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

Alle begrüßen den Beginn des vierten Reich :lol:

 

[Benchwayze]

Nice one Steve. I don't think you are far off the truth! I fear the English language is eroding at a rate of knots! Or should that be nots?

Eg. Th' area, instead of 'thee area'.

It irritates me no end, as it sounds clumsy and contrived. Almost as bad as this new American non-word; 'incentivise'. Unknown to my spell-checker, whether spelled with an 'ess' or a 'zed'. Or should that be 'a ess' or 'an zed'! 8)

 

[Droogs]

Its evolving not eroding. This arguement about language use has been going on for centuries. Ever since the great vowel shift people have bemoaned the rate that English has changed. But this is not something to be feared, in fact it is the language's strength and the reason that the Lingua Franca is not French but English, due to its ability to absorb new words and its dexterity in its grammer use, which, even when abused is able to make sense. After all most people remember the off and onable gas advert which was so successful in its abusing of the rules of grammer. if a language stays rigid in its rules and vocabulary then it will start to die. Just look at the carp the French are going through because so many English words are creeping into their language.

 

[Phil Pascoe]

The Lingua Franca is actually American English, but by the bye. Change and adoption of foreign words doesn't annoy me - words like schadenfreude are wonderful. What does annoy me is unnecessary change, importing Americanism like "fess up" - why? what does it achieve? Two words instead of one and the same number of syllables. Unnecessary pronunciation changes irritate me as well, like financial (fine) becoming finnancial and decade becoming decayed. Why?
D'bris for debris is another - have we got to sound like Yanks?

 

[Benchwayze]

I know I can't prevent the language from evolving, but that doesn't mean I have to accept, or use the new ideas, if they pineapple me off! Aaachhh! :evil:

 

[RogerS]

Its evolving not eroding. This arguement about language use has been going on for centuries. Ever since the great vowel shift people have bemoaned the rate that English has changed. But this is not something to be feared, in fact it is the language's strength and the reason that the Lingua Franca is not French but English, due to its ability to absorb new words and its dexterity in its grammer use, which, even when abused is able to make sense. After all most people remember the off and onable gas advert which was so successful in its abusing of the rules of grammer. if a language stays rigid in its rules and vocabulary then it will start to die. Just look at the carp the French are going through because so many English words are creeping into their language.

I'm not sure that I agree with that. I thought the reason why English was the Lingua Franca was down to the fact that (a) we had a very large empire and (b) the USA speaks (sort of) English. And mustn't forget the Australians or Canadians. That's an awful lot of coverage around the world.

Nor is it a question of absorbing new words since the same argument applies equally to French.

My pet hate is txt, m8, as that creeps into usage elsewhere.

 

[Droogs]

However French's strict grammer rules do not allow it the flexibility that english has. which is why english has morphed into over 400 different dialects. all of which to some extent are understandable to any other. please don't confuse dialect with accent. what you say is in part true Rogr english became the language of business due to empire late 19th and early 20th centuries and to the rapid industrialisation of the US and its corporate growth in the mid 20th. they way people use a language is to a large part dictated by the way in which they hear it sic Hollywood for the rapid uptake of Americanisms.

 

[heimlaga]

If we adopt English as the universal official language let's use the Shetland variety https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIqdc77Wxdo
Way easier for us mainlanders to pronounce than that strange dialect spoken in London.;-)

 

[t8hants]

T'is my understanding that American English is much older than UK English retaining more of the Tudor style of speech than we use.
The great strength of English is evolves from the bottom up, rather then being dictated from an 'academy' down.
So what is slang today will be quite normal in a decade or sooner