Elderly parent(s)

[Rich]

Yes, A big fat wallet in the back pocket. :lol:

Rich.

 

[lurker]

I've just found this thread.
I have to say I'm greatly relieved by some of the comments on it.

I've been a bit down on myself for not liking my Mum for some time and now find I'm not the only one.
My experiences & feelings are much the same a Steve's.

A weight has lifted from my shoulders, thanks guys!!!

By the way, if I ever see my brother again, it will be too soon :lol: :lol:

 

[jaymar]

Just a thought(as an elderly parent)What makes you think your parents liked you when you woke them in the middle of the night, when you filled nappies with a smelly concoction, when you went through your stroppy teenage years. It's not all one way and while I accept some parents are lacking they were, in the most part "There for you" when it mattered.

 

[kafkaian]

Just a thought(as an elderly parent)What makes you think your parents liked you when you woke them in the middle of the night, when you filled nappies with a smelly concoction, when you went through your stroppy teenage years.

Er, 'cos we never asked to be born. Where's the noose anyone?

 

[Digit]

No signs of an Oedipus complex there then.

Roy.

 

[kafkaian]

No signs of an Oedipus complex there then.

Really?

the childhood desire to sleep with the mother and to kill the father

One wonders where the definition ties in to your theory then Roy

 

[Digit]

The comments about not liking ones mother would infer that no complex existed would it not?

Roy.

 

[kafkaian]

The comments about not liking ones mother would infer that no complex existed would it not?

Yes I would have thought so. Hard to tell sarcasm from statements of irony though without the copious use of emoticons :wink:

 

[Digit]

True! But some times I'm a little uncertain which ones to use.

Roy.

 

[StevieB]

Just a thought(as an elderly parent)What makes you think your parents liked you when you woke them in the middle of the night, when you filled nappies with a smelly concoction, when you went through your stroppy teenage years. It's not all one way and while I accept some parents are lacking they were, in the most part "There for you" when it mattered.

But as a parent you know in advance that your offspring are going to produce smelly nappies at a young age and become stroppy 15 years later. Its hardly a surprise. Parents shouldnt have children so they have a carer in their dotage, nor should the argument 'I changed your nappy, you change my colostomy bag' be a rationale foisted on any child - one is a choice (to have children) the other is no choice (to have parents).

Steve.

 

[jaymar]

OK! I agree. Most parents should drown their offspring at birth, save trouble later. With the money saved on not raising them one would be able to afford good care without the need to rely on children who hate you.

 

[Losos]

....... Its so bad that I've been retired for two years and I haven't told her, .......

:lol:

That's got me thinking...tell her that we're moving to France. She'll never make the trip over and so we can do the 'annual' visit :twisted: All we need is a French address for birthday cards to be sent to.....mmmm...maybe a nice little sideline for Dedee ...sort of Poste Restante.

Well if you want to be certain she'll never visit you can use my address. Even the post man has trouble finding us :roll: and most people have never heard of Czechland, let alone know where it is :lol: :lol: :lol:

Of course that doesn't include Lurker who's just won the 2008 'Explorers of the World' award by visiting this country :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[cutting42]

It really irritates me that it is so difficult to get planning permission to build extra living accomodation onto ones' house or to build a self-contained 'granny flat' in the garden.

Given the increasing number of elderly people and the potential cost to society of caring for them I would have thought that people should actively be encouraged to convert their garages into accomodation for their aging parents or to put one of those nice log cabins at the bottom of the garden.

The planning laws in this country need a complete overhaul.

I am very interested in this part of the thread. As I mentioned earlier I went through the process of planning and building a granny flat and found planning a tiresome, frustrating but ultimately successful process. The objections had nothing to do with it being a separate flat but to do with the general planning considerations like aspect, whether it was in keeping with the rest of the property, overdeveloping a house etc etc.

One thing that was raised was that if you have a flat with independent entry ie their own front door, it is then liable for council tax!!!! We made sure they planners noted the internal linking door was marked "Front Door".

I actually think there is a potentially big change in the next few years as those of us who do have children are having them later and later in life having done some riotous living, traveling and progressing in the workplace to a better earning position. Once we are more secure we have children in our mid to late 30's sometimes into our 40's with a bigger house and much more elderly parents. The thought of sending my parents and in laws to a home is abhorrent to me as I know I would not like it so to have them living very near but in a separate house/flat is perfect for us. Now we do get on with them and we live separate lives, the relationship is symbiotic and compatible for us.

I have had many friends talk to me and say they hated the idea but some of those people now have infirm parents and their opinions are changing as they have to manage these infirm parents from a distance, visiting and providing transport and remote assistance. I remember my parents doing this for my Grand parents and how much hassle and grief it caused.

I think the government should consider these granny flats as a tax break, at least for VAT (having spent 17K to the VAT man recently) to incentivise individuals who can get on with their parents to do this and reduce the burden on the state for homes and home help etc.