Elderly parent(s)

[BradNaylor]

SWMBO and I have always had an agreement that if any of our parents became unable to fend for themselves we would move them in with us rather than put them in a home. My office is due for conversion into a self-contained granny annexe should the neccessity arise.

Her mother lives in a council bungalow 100 yards away from us, so we should be safe.

My old dad is great. My mum is a pain in the ar$e. You can guess which one I'm hoping takes my office!

 

[Smudger]

Like so many of you, chance would be a fine thing. My father died in 1969, and I still miss him.

 

[Digit]

I was hoping things had changed Dan, but apparently not. I doubt that many mainstream British people would believe the strictures that apply, many with no religious basis at all.
The hatred of Jews amongst some Muslims has always surprised me, you couldn't get a *** paper between the extremists on either side. I'm not referring to violence I was thinking more on their treatment of women, the rule of the family, their social exclusion, and what an MP was recently condemned for mentioning, inbreeding!

Roy.

 

[Steve Maskery]

Hey guys, I really think we should keep (reasonably) on topic here. We don't do religion and politics on this forum, and it would be shame to get this thread locked, eh? I'm not a mod, but I don't think we should invite trouble, do you?

S

 

[BradNaylor]

You're probably right, Steve.

I was just having a chat with Roy, but its easy to stray into controversial areas.

I can see that a woodworking forum is not the best place to discuss religious matters, so lets get back to how our dreadful mothers blighted our lives...

:lol:

 

[Rich]

You're probably right, Steve.

I was just having a chat with Roy, but its easy to stray into controversial areas.

I can see that a woodworking forum is not the best place to discuss religious matters, so lets get back to how our dreadful mothers blighted our lives...

:lol:

Ican't believe you said that Dan, you must be the exception, or am I just lucky?.
Rich.

 

[Rich]

Sorry, Dan I didn't realise you were being light hearted, my apologies,
Rich.
PS, Another member put me wise. :wink: :lol:

 

[Gill]

As Philip Larkin eloquently put it in one of his poems...

"They f*ck you up, your Mum and Dad,
You may not know it but they do
They give you all the faults they had
And some especially just for you"

I'm indebted to you for that, Roger - I've never heard it before and it's so true.

A psychiatrist once said to me: "Sometimes, children love their parents more than their parents deserve."

Gill

 

[cutting42]

SWMBO and I have always had an agreement that if any of our parents became unable to fend for themselves we would move them in with us rather than put them in a home. My office is due for conversion into a self-contained granny annexe should the neccessity arise.

Her mother lives in a council bungalow 100 yards away from us, so we should be safe.

My old dad is great. My mum is a pain in the ar$e. You can guess which one I'm hoping takes my office!

We have preempted this time by building a Granny Flat onto the side of our house with Lounge, Kitchen, Bedroom and Bathroom and my wifes parents have moved in already. I get on great with them and they are not infirm yet but MIL had a bad attack of Pneumonia in 2006 which brought the thought of doing this to mind.

We now live pretty much as neighbours, not in each others pockets but only a dividing door between us if needed. Helps us with the babysitters and gardening and them with IT support (me) and jobs about the house (me again).

 

[BradNaylor]

It really irritates me that it is so difficult to get planning permission to build extra living accomodation onto ones' house or to build a self-contained 'granny flat' in the garden.

Given the increasing number of elderly people and the potential cost to society of caring for them I would have thought that people should actively be encouraged to convert their garages into accomodation for their aging parents or to put one of those nice log cabins at the bottom of the garden.

The planning laws in this country need a complete overhaul.

 

[Digit]

The planning laws in this country need a complete overhaul.

Cast your mind back Dan, that's what we were promised by certain people some time ago.

Roy.

 

[StevieB]

Ah, but it is not unknown for unscrupulous people to invent mythical ailing relatives, do 25k of modifications to a house and then sell it a little later for 50k more than it would have been worth without the annex :wink: Some form of social services assesment would need to be built in with the application I feel - in the property market of the past 10 years extending is way cheaper than moving to a house with an additional bedroom.

Steve.

 

[BradNaylor]

Ah, but it is not unknown for unscrupulous people to invent mythical ailing relatives, do 25k of modifications to a house and then sell it a little later for 50k more than it would have been worth without the annex :wink:

So what?

At least then there is another house with a granny flat attached. What I'm saying is that all houses should have one where it is possible.

It should be the norm.

 

[RogerS]

......
It should be the norm.

Why?

 

[StevieB]

Yes, Why? As this thread demonstrates not everyone wants their parents with them until they shuffle off their mortal coil.

Steve.

 

[Digit]

As I was denied the opportunity I take no side in this but simply offer a gentle reminder, most of us will one day be elderly parents.

Roy.
Got it right, again!

 

[RogerS]

As I was denied the opportunity I take no side in this but simply offer a gentle reminder, most of us will one day be elderly parents.

Roy.
Got it right, again!

Not if you don't have any children!

 

[Digit]

I did say most of us Rog. Unless of course you're proposing infanticide? :lol:

Roy.

 

[Steve Maskery]

Are most adults parents? Perhaps they are. It's just that most of my friends do not have children. Perhaps we are just self-selecting as friends. What's the average number of children these days? It always used to be 2.4 when we were kids, but birth rates among "native" Brits, and similar Western European countries, have been dropping for decades. I believe that the only reason that the birth rate is slightly up recently is because of the number of immigrants who bring with them their culture of larger families.

I suppose that whilst the number of kids stays above 0.5 per couple then yes, most adults are parents. It seems quite odd to me, but then it's never really been part of my life.

S

 

[Digit]

A relative once said to me that if you don't have children you miss one of the great experiences in life.
Yeaaah! :roll:

Roy.