12 of the Finest Double-entendres !!

[Jonzjob]

1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'
2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'
3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'
4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.'
5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my god !! What have I just said??'
6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'TimeTeam Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'
7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weather man and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!
8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'
9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on 'Look North'said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. '
10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on 'Sky Sports ':'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'
11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there. They're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'
12.. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny; other weeks he prefers to do it by
himself.'

 

[Dodge]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[gus3049]

A blonde walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre.

So the barman gives her one. #-o

 

[Jonzjob]

Oh? I hadn't realised that you could actually 'have' one?

I thought that there could only 'be' one #-o #-o

 

[Benchwayze]

Good collection! Although sometimes I wonder if some of these presenters are really 'unaware' of what they are saying!

Good for a laugh either way!

John

 

[RogerM]

Kenneth Horne - "This week the producer told me that he was fed up with all the "double entendres" creeping into the scripts so I told him not to worry - if I found one I'd whip it out".

I'm sorry I haven't a clue. "This week Samantha helped Tim to find some old files in the basement. There was no lighting so she used a candle while Tim held the ladder and cleared the dust and wax off in the dark"

 

[Jonzjob]

Humphrey Littletom was a real master at it!!

 

[Richard T]

Humph:

Whitby is also famed for its seafood. Samantha has just popped out to get a few local winkles in cider.

Samantha has been suffering from stiffness in her knees. She went to the doctor who gave her a thorough check up and concluded that otherwise she's in very good health. In fact he said "knees apart, she's perfect".

 

[Alf]

Tsk. A list with nothing from Test Match Special is incomplete.

 

[gus3049]

Tsk. A list with nothing from Test Match Special is incomplete.

How about - Cricketer Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off."

And a few non cricket goodies:
The new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's breath away..."My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection."

Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions."

Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."

Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."

Ross King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: "Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."

 

[Jonzjob]

Or to go back to cricket?

The batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willey. Or was that the other way around?

 

[miles_hot]

What about (all from Brian Johnston's wiki page):
Jonathan Agnew suggested that Ian Botham was out hit wicket because he had failed to "get his leg over" - Johnston carried on commentating (and giggling) for 30 seconds before dissolving into helpless laughter
when Neil Harvey was representing Australia at the Headingley Test in 1961: "There's Neil Harvey standing at leg slip with his legs wide apart, waiting for a tickle"
when Michael Holding of the West Indies was bowling to Peter Willey of England in a Test match at The Oval in 1976 : "The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey"

I love this man's corpsing - they are some of the most wonderful radio clips

Miles

 

[Jonzjob]

I bought a CD a while back called The Wit of Cricket and it has all of those and so much more on it. Very funny indeed!