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Kev,,any chance the hand might be of a confederate soldier holding a tool used to remove little women from horses hooves ??

I was helping the wife Christmas shopping and had wandered off,,I spotted a young lady and said " I can"t find my wife can I talk to you?",,obviously feeling some compassion she said "Sure but do you have any idea where she may be?",, I replied "No but if I get to talk to a lady with a bust and...

Took the wife out to the local indian retaurant last night , we had curried pelican,, it tasted real good but the bill was enormous,,

Pretty sure I know what my wife"s getting me for Christmas. When I guessed, "a threesome with her younger sister?" she got all angry like I had spoiled the surprise.

My Chinese neighbour said he has opened a crows shop. I said you mean a clothes shop, he says no a crows shop, you come in and have a rook,,,

I think it only works below the age of 65,, "cos I just put in RETIRED an" got a score of 75,,,,that"s got to be wrong. Just had loads of laughs putting in occupations,,,

5 Stars for Audacity,,,,,,,,,,,,loads of tricks ,,,joe,,,

Hey Mate ,,,silent trumpet,,,,,drum pads,,,electric piano,,,,it is like *** with your socks on ,,,, not quite the real thing,,,,,believe me !!!!!!

Kev ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Bet you would have a "blow" now,,given half the chance,,,,

Careful boys,,it is the season of goodwill,, Just "cos you lot up the front don"t have to keep going all the time,,,,,,,,,,

It is a musicians (loose use of the word) thing,,,,, how did we get from TV licence to taking the mickey out of the rhythm section ? Bet you"re in the front line !!!!!!!

Radiators ,,,,Drummers,,,,Knives,,, there has got to be a link somewhere,,,,,

Hello John,,,,,Don"t GU it"s only just started,,,,,, drummers and sheds ????????????????? is it Hendrix / ,,,joe,,,

HAS he been yet????

Hi BB It"s JTD here, Hope you have a FGC and a FGNY and wish you ATYWWYF2014,,,

Hi just watched KFZIBGGFNMOGFRKLOODFJSD<HKLHO:IYI(>KGCDSSDF on "catch up" TV,,,,, Anyone else see it ?

Sold loads of stuff to people who think they will give something "real" for christmas...... Should I feel good about that ?

MM,,,,,careful Mate,,,some of us produced the Transit,,,and what do most people think the white van man drives ????

Hi David,,, Hell ,,,,I wouldn"t dare going up past the church,,,,