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This lady approaches a priest and tells him, 'Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.' 'What do they say?' the priest asked. 'They only know how to say, 'Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?'' 'That's...

Well, look on the bright side. Those fuses aren't going to blow in a hurry. But, why have all the lights on this side of town gone out? :duno:

After months of saving, Italian Genaro purchases a £300 pair of Boccelli leather shoes. Every Friday night the Italian community holds a dance in the church basement. Gennaro seizes this opportunity to wear his new Boccelli leather shoes for the first time. He asks Sophia to dance and as...

try this

Karl - Tincknell Fuels in Devon currently charge 36p per litre. So 4.546 x £0.36 = £1.64 per gallon. Based on this price, and based on usage over the last 6 months, we are spending £32 per month on oil. That's brightened me up considerably. Roger - how do you get away with that? My...

Karl - it'll depend very much on the type of boiler, insulation, whether you use heating or sweaters during the day, and whether you supplement it with (say) a log burner. Will it also be used to heat HW? FWIW we have a 2000 sq ft house and we spend £50 per month on oil. We replaced the old...

My hands are sweating just watching this! http://leenks.com/link142856.html

Which one was that then DW? :D

I have the V500 and am very pleased with that. That scans 4 slides or 12 negatives at a time. I believe the V700 does 12 slides and up to 36 negatives at a time. The challenge here would be getting 36 negatives completely free of dust/hairs etc simultaneously - it's bad enough getting 4...

Looking good Gidon. Hope children are now better. What a pain over Xmas! I'm plotting something similar, but about 10' x 10' and in a summerhouse style. Can you remember what the cost per metre was of the shiplap from TP? Totem have quoted me £1.20 per metre which sounds a bit steep. Hmm...

DW - It's not just the assets that have been taken by Santander, it's the liabilities as well. And when liabilities exceed the assets, the equity in the company is zilch. So that's what the shareholders get. I have also been caught by this one. I worked for HBOS before I retired and was...

Phil - We've done plenty of trips just using a map. Do you do the map reading yourself or do you rely on SWMBO? Ever been told - "I think we should have turned right just back there" - when the next opportunity to turn round is another 15 miles down the road? Yep - me too! Touring...

Phil - I bought a Magellan 2250T Roadmate for a trip around Italy. It came loaded with maps for the whole of Europe for £125 from Argos when we bought it 2 years ago. It was great in Italy and France, and is also great around town in the UK. I am less pleased with it for cross country...

Mike - Snap!! We have a couple of thousand slides going back to the early 1970's, and my mother has several hundred going back to the early 1950's. After loads of research (by me), SWMBO bought me an Epson V500 for Xmas, and I'm blown away by the quality of the results. Unfortunately it also...

I just love that! Difficult to believe that it is your first proper piece - you must be a natural. Don't waste the talent.

No point dragging this one out. Answers pretty much as posted by Tommo above. I guess you must have found the website that i lifted the pics from Tom? 1, Angelina Jolie 2, Ayrton Senna R.I.P 3, Bjork 4, Demi Moore 5, Elton John 6, Freddy Mercury 7, George Clooney 8, Jean...

If you want a real laugh, read this. Absolutely hilarious.

Just for fun over the Xmas period. This is part of a pub quiz I set a while back. Who are these famous people as children? They are in alphabetic order! 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. Answers to follow Sunday 28th Dec!

Having tried 2 previous hosting sites that subsequently closed, causing all sorts of inconvenience, I now use Google Picasa on the basis that it is not likely to close down!

Can't be bothered! 45387 :oops: :lol: