Things you say that got you into the dog house.

[Amateur]

I'm up to my neck in it.
During a romantic evening I held my wife, kissed her deeply on the lips and looked into her eyes.
" You're the most beautiful woman on our street" I told her.
She pushed me away.
" You used to tell me I was the most beautiful woman in the universe"
As she stood with hands on her hips...You know the stance.
" But that was 31 years ago" I mumbled.
I nearly added, Times Change......but kept my gob shut.
I'm now on jankers,
Not speaking
And getting the, "Evil Stare"

 

[AFFF]

I once bought the missus an ironing board cover and a crosscut handsaw for Christmas (we needed them) At least I got some peace and quiet on Christmas Day

 

[Jameshow]

I brought my misses a decorating step up, also a pressure washer patio cleaning attachment....

Quite a quiet Christmas that year!!

Cheers

 

[Phil Pascoe]

I bought my wife flowers. Once. She took them and said Christ! What have you done?

 

[joethedrummer]

" if you recall , I do most of the driving " always seems to ensure a quiet journey !

 

[Lons]

I bought my wife flowers. Once. She took them and said Christ! What have you done?

You are definitely not alone there.

 

[dzj]

As a young man, I thought my suggestions regarding parking and overtaking were constructive and helpful.
Over the years, I have learnt to keep my opinions to myself.

 

[Distinterior]

One Christmas, I bought my wife a Tumble Dryer and another year I bought her a petrol powered Leaf Blower......I remember both those Christmas's were quite frosty but it had nothing to do with the weather...!!

 

[Cabinetman]

Men and women differ in all sorts of ways, it’s always important to remember the difference between want and need which for men often are the same thing, your wife might need some car mats but she wants that handbag, huge difference in response, now if you were to put some new car mats in her car without telling her she would probably be tickled, but wrapped up under the tree? Ian
Speaking from personal experience, it was very frosty that year.

 

[Fidget]

"Yes Dear"

 

[Just4Fun]

"I do."

 

[Jameshow]

How high....!

 

[user 35906]

An often retold story of when a friend of ours bought his newly wed wife a porta-potty for Christmas for use on their small boat instead of a bucket. They are both in their 80s now but he still has a boat, it's a 30' racing trimaran seriously.

 

[Jelly]

I once bought the missus an ironing board cover...

I remember my dad thinking he was dead funny by buying my mum a print she'd seen in a gallery somewhere and really liked, framing it and hanging it in the place that she thought it would go well after she went to bed, then giving her a new ironing board as her "official" birthday gift.

She saw the ironing board stormed through to the kitchen where he was making breakfast and got about two (very loud) words into giving him the blast before clocking the print, bursting into tears and hugging him.

They now frequently exchange housework related gifts as an in joke.

 

[Bill Derr]

My wife was trying on some swimwear and asked me for my opinion;

I said ''you look like 5lb of meat in a 4lb bag'' but she's a good 'un and just fell about laughing.

 

[novocaine]

bought my wife a fitness tracker and a set of scales for valentines day.
turns out, I have a good wife, she wanted both.

got bollocked for buying flowers from a florist last year when she'd been to hospital. "what you wasting money for, go to aldi"

I'm a lucky man me.

 

[Doug B]

I find I don’t have to say anything I think just my breathing sets her off

 

[Linus]

You are definitely not alone there.

Most definitely not alone!

 

[Inspector]

While in the throws of passion, uttering the name of the last girlfriend into the ear of the present girlfriend.

Pete

 

[Distinterior]

While in the throws of passion, uttering the name of the last girlfriend into the ear of the present girlfriend.

Pete

.....And you lived to tell the tale...?? You're very fortunate Pete.