- Joined
- 19 Mar 2007
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Dear Mrs. Bailey,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.
Our complaints against your husband, Edwin Bailey, include, but are not limited to, the list below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. January 5: Set all the alarm clocks in Homewares to go off at five minute intervals.
2. February 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
3. March 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the toilets.
4. April 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Homewares. Get on it right away". This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor.
5. May 4: Went to the Customer Service Desk and tried to reserve a pack of biscuits.
6. June 14: Moved a "Caution - Wet Floor" sign to a carpeted area, which resulted in a customer slipping and falling over.
7. August 15: Sat in a tent in the camping department and told a number of children that they could come in, but only if they brought pillows and blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children obliged.
8. September 3: Darted around the whole store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
9. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, squeaked "Pick me! Pick me!" in a strange voice, alarming several customers.
10. November 23: Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was.
11. December 2: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here."
12. December 7: Parked his car in the trolley shelter. We attach a photo.
13 August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’ EMTs were called.
14 September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
15 September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
16 October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘Mission Impossible’ theme.
17 October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.
18 October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME PICK ME!’
19 October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a foetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’
We do appreciate your custom but regret that we can no longer tolerate this kind of behaviour and have been forced to ban him, with immediate effect.
Yours sincerely,
Mr. Neil Clark
Store Manager
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.
Our complaints against your husband, Edwin Bailey, include, but are not limited to, the list below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. January 5: Set all the alarm clocks in Homewares to go off at five minute intervals.
2. February 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
3. March 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the toilets.
4. April 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, "Code 3 in Homewares. Get on it right away". This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor.
5. May 4: Went to the Customer Service Desk and tried to reserve a pack of biscuits.
6. June 14: Moved a "Caution - Wet Floor" sign to a carpeted area, which resulted in a customer slipping and falling over.
7. August 15: Sat in a tent in the camping department and told a number of children that they could come in, but only if they brought pillows and blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children obliged.
8. September 3: Darted around the whole store suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
9. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, squeaked "Pick me! Pick me!" in a strange voice, alarming several customers.
10. November 23: Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was.
11. December 2: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here."
12. December 7: Parked his car in the trolley shelter. We attach a photo.
13 August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’ EMTs were called.
14 September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
15 September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
16 October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘Mission Impossible’ theme.
17 October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.
18 October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME PICK ME!’
19 October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a foetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’
We do appreciate your custom but regret that we can no longer tolerate this kind of behaviour and have been forced to ban him, with immediate effect.
Yours sincerely,
Mr. Neil Clark
Store Manager
