Ridiculous things you believed as a child...

[doctor Bob]

My dad was a farmer, one day we had sheep in the yards and one of them had about three inches of bowel hanging out its clacker. He caught the sheep, picked it up by its hind legs and shook it like a bag of spuds, til the bowel popped back in. After marking the sheep with red raddle for future recognition, he turned to me and said " that's what can happen if you strain on the toilet". I was about nine at the time, now 72, I have never strained on the bog since receiving that sage advice.
Cheers,
Geoff.

Old Jim and young Bobby are working on a farm, old Jim is busting, so goes for a s**t, in the woods, for a laugh young Bobby creeps up behind him and dumps some rotten sheep guts under his arse and sneaks off.
On Jim's return he's very pale and walking funny, Bob surpressing a giggle asks if everything is Ok. Jim explains how he has s*at his guts out, however with a long stick, a prayer to god and some elbow grease he has managed to poke it back in.

 

[TheUnicorn]

Don't swallow your chewing gum. It will get wrapped around your heart and you WILL DIE!

no, that one's true, it happened to me once

... I got better

 

[Cabinetman]

Doctor Bob, that was so appalling it made me laugh very much out loud. Ian

 

[Droogs]

I think the most ridiculous things I believed as a kid was adults

 

[JimB]

I think the most ridiculous things I believed as a kid was adults

Reminds me of a friend who admitted that he was in his forties before he realised politicians didn't always tell the truth!

 

[Just4Fun]

They won't all kill you, it's just knowing which ones won't.

Many people here collect all manner of musrooms and berries. I have no clue which mushrooms are edible and which are a bad idea so I never collect them. Last autumn I was walking in a forest with a guy who was delighted to find some large mushrooms that I thought looked absolutely disgusting, but he assured me they were really nice to eat. I tend to play safe on things like that.

 

[Just4Fun]

I once saw a theory that expanded on this, went into the stain quotient of the substance attached to the cat, and the type of surface that the cat was dropped upon.
In summary the guy theorised that trains could be sustainably powered by dropping cats with tikka masala smeared on their backs and feet onto a white wool carpet - that they just stopped and spun endlessly above the carpet...

Sounds like something from Daedalus. I remember thinking his invention of a frosted glass aquarium for shy fish was hilarious.

 

[Doug B]

Reminds me of a friend who admitted that he was in his forties before he realised politicians didn't always tell the truth!

Don’t say that Jim you’ll be telling me next sitting presidents lie

 

[davedevelopment]

Wrestling! As a real youngster I watched Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks et al on the British productions, but when my Grandad got Sky it really started happening with WWE (then WWF). I remember being horrified when Shawn Michaels put Marty Jannetty through a GLASS window and the time Jake "the snake" Roberts let his snake bite The Macho Man Randy Savage.

 

[Phil Russell]

Warnings from my mother: never eat uncooked cake mix, it will give you worms. Swallow a seed, apple pip etc and it will lodge in your appendix and give you appendicitis. We still loved scraping the mixing bowl though.
Cheers, Phil

 

[Dee J]

A woodworking one...
As a small child I observed that some wooden things were held together with nails or screws, but other things had no visible fixings. This led to my hypothesis of the existence of the 'double-ended-nail', pointy at both ends. Never did find any

 

[eribaMotters]

I won the American Presidential Election.

Colin

 

[artie]

Wrestling! As a real youngster I watched Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks et al

You would have got on well with my Dad.
Jackie Pallo, Mick McManus and Les Kellet were the high point of his week. He would sit there shouting at the TV like a kid at a pantomime.

 

[billw]

Wrestling! As a real youngster I watched Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks et al on the British productions, but when my Grandad got Sky it really started happening with WWE (then WWF). I remember being horrified when Shawn Michaels put Marty Jannetty through a GLASS window and the time Jake "the snake" Roberts let his snake bite The Macho Man Randy Savage.

Oh the good old days!

 

[Woody2Shoes]

It was a pimple on the end for us.

The expressions on their faces when asked "show me your tongue then"...

 

[Woody2Shoes]

Surprised nobody's mentioned the tooth fairy because that definitely made complete sense.

And father xmas if course...

 

[TomB]

Up to the age of about 7 I thought the hole at the back of the sink was called the Armitage Shanks.

 

[pils]

I think the most ridiculous things I believed as a kid was adults

Likewise: That grown ups knew/know what they're talking about.

 

[MikeJhn]

My mother told me that the wind was caused by the trees waving their arms around.

She also told me that when a car noise paused (gear change) it was taking a breath.

 

[D_W]

Wrestling! As a real youngster I watched Big Daddy and Giant Haystacks et al on the British productions, but when my Grandad got Sky it really started happening with WWE (then WWF). I remember being horrified when Shawn Michaels put Marty Jannetty through a GLASS window and the time Jake "the snake" Roberts let his snake bite The Macho Man Randy Savage.

My dad clued me in early on that wrestling was arranged and that it was all a show. The guys who were good at being a heel pissed me off, anyway. Somewhere around age 15, the novelty wore off and I stopped watching, but there was a period of time where they would delay Saturday Night Live here or skip it to put the
"Saturday Night Main Event" on TV. That just seems odd now (not that many people watch SNL these days, either).

One kid in elementary school believed wrestling was real and would fight about it, and he was also the last kid (by far) on the santa claus train. He was also twice as big as the rest of us, so it was risky to tell him he was a dope.