Present disaster

[Steve Maskery]

A friend has sent me this Agony Aunt clip from a newspaper. I don't know if it's a wind-up or not, but either way I think it is hilarious.

Dear Mrs Mills,
Last year i bought my wife lingerie for her birthday. It was the right size, but she went mad and told me it was insulting that I thought so little her. (Actually I felt it showed that I still thought she was hot, even though we've been married for almost a year).

To make up for it, this year I bought her a woodworking router. Admittedly it was something I wanted, but I thought she might appreciate my thinking that she is a woman who might take up cabinet making. This was a mistake and I spent last Saturday re-glazing the kitchen window after she threw the router at me - and missed, luckily.

What can I get her next year to avoid these mistakes?

Dear LK,

There's a huge middle ground of acceptable presents between ***-object underwear and insulting gifts that are really for the giver. It is too easy to get clothes and accessories wrong, so go for a classic - Chanel bag, Hermès scarf, string of pearls.

However you are being very optimistic if you think that your marriage is going to last until next year.

 

[Phil Pascoe]

Mrs. Mills is a spoof agony column in The Sunday Times.

 

[Distinterior]

Very Good...!

About 10 years ago, my mates gave me a hard time on Boxing Day when we all met up for a Xmas drink.

The reason why I was getting a hard time from them was,......I had bought my Mrs a Tumble Dryer for a Xmas present and they couldn't understand why I had got away with it when they had to splash out on jewelry, perfume and other such items for their other half's......

Edit.
We are still together and only got married in March this year, having been together for 20 odd years....

 

[Steve Maskery]

Ah, is it? That makes sense (well the spoof bit, anyway - I can't imagine why she was reading the Sunday Times, though, not her politics).
Still funny, though.
Ta.

 

[Phil Pascoe]

I bought my wife flowers .......once. She took them, went white and said Christ, what have you done. :lol:

 

[novocaine]

gifts my wife has received from me over the years.
Air Arms s200 .77 rifle
Fitness tracker
Steam mop/cleaner
Bicycle
Sewing machine
threads
bobbins
Socks
Apron

yes we are still together, no I'm not sure how or why.

 

[Rorschach]

Simple, don't do gifts. My SO and I don't buy presents for each other. If there is something that one of use wants, we buy it. We are both careful with money so usually need to encourage the other person to buy what might be considered luxury items.

 

[Yojevol]

My pal gave his wife a pair of knee pads for Christmas! Even though she's a keen gardener, she wasn't best pleased. It's given us a good laugh every Xmas since though.

 

[nev]

"Come on" I said "lets go collect your Xmas pressies. We'll take your car" (I had a van at the time.)
Up to the local shopping area we went but for some reason her excitement wained a little as we drove through the shops, out the other side and into the industrial estate.
"Pull in next left" says I. A confused look crossed her face as we arrived at the local garage,
"We haven't had this car long, you haven't bought a new car have you?".
"as if I'm made of money! no!" I replied, but we are picking something up".

Apparently a full set of tyres, Dunlops! no cheap rubbish, is not an appropriate gift for Xmas. She did however appreciate the full english breakfast we had in the cafe next door while they were being fitted.

Theres no pleasing some people... ccasion5:

 

[Inspector]

I bought flowers once. She didn't eat them so I won't waste the money anymore.

Pete

 

[Bm101]

I bought flowers once. She didn't eat them so I won't waste the money anymore.

Pete

Crikey Pete I know it's fairly remote where you live but there's limits you know. :shock:
On a positive note it does answer the age old question:

How exactly does a Canadian find his sheep in long grass?

Delightful.

 

[lurker]

When we were first married we were very poor.
So we agreed we would not buy each other Christmas presents.
A few days before Christmas I spotted a much reduced egg whisk, so I bought it so she would have something to open on Christmas morning.
Every Christmas for the past 42 years she has reminded me about that and not in a nice way!!
"F*&King egg whisk" is shorthand for in our house for me "being careful with money".

 

[Rorschach]

When we were first married we were very poor.
So we agreed we would not buy each other Christmas presents.
A few days before Christmas I spotted a much reduced egg whisk, so I bought it so she would have something to open on Christmas morning.
Every Christmas for the past 42 years she has reminded me about that and not in a nice way!!
"F*&King egg whisk" is shorthand for in our house for me "being careful with money".

"Something to open"
That drives me up the bloody wall.
About 10 years ago I took my mother on holiday to Spain as her Christmas present, as you can imagine even though it was only a long weekend it was still not a cheap present. Ever since she reminds me every christmas that in that year I didn't get her anything to open on the day!
Needless to say I have never bought her a decent present since, yes I hold grudges for a long time.

She doesn't know that I had also planned to send her and my sister to New York as they always wanted to go, cancelled that trip.

 

[sawdust1]

I used to get the other half something practical for xmas, like a pink wheelbarrow once.
But now its just flowers after she threw out the door the extra long cable i gave her one xmas for her Hair Dryer, after she said the on it was to short , and could't reach the mirror from the plug! ungrateful so and so, i took ages to wrap it!
And she didn't even unwrap the Oak chopping Board, which went back in the workshop until i gave it to a friend years later.

 

[Suffolkboy]

"Come on" I said "lets go collect your Xmas pressies. We'll take your car" (I had a van at the time.)
Up to the local shopping area we went but for some reason her excitement wained a little as we drove through the shops, out the other side and into the industrial estate.
"Pull in next left" says I. A confused look crossed her face as we arrived at the local garage,
"We haven't had this car long, you haven't bought a new car have you?".
"as if I'm made of money! no!" I replied, but we are picking something up".

Apparently a full set of tyres, Dunlops! no cheap rubbish, is not an appropriate gift for Xmas. She did however appreciate the full english breakfast we had in the cafe next door while they were being fitted.

Theres no pleasing some people... ccasion5:

Bloody hell.

I wish somebody would buy me a set of tyres!