Oh to be a monk?

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Jonzjob

Established Member
UKW Supporter
Joined
19 Mar 2007
Messages
5,300
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Location
Ex nr Carcassonne, France. Now Corston Malmesbury
A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, We can't tell you because you're not a monk.

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.

The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car..

That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier.

The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply,

We can't tell you because you're not a monk.

The man says, all right, all right. I'm dying to know.

If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?

The monks reply, you must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.

The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, I have travelled the earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for. There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.

The monks reply, congratulations, you are correct, and you are now considered a monk

We shall now show you the way to the sound.

The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, the sound is behind that door.

The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He asks, May I have the key ?

The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.



Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone... The man requests the key to the stone door.




The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And so it went on until the man had gone through doors of emerald,...




...silver, topaz, and amethyst.




Finally, the monks say, This is the key to the last door .





The man is relieved to be at the end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound. It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight.








.. But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.







DON'T SWEAR AT ME;
 
gus3049":skvz5tbw said:
Must be the French (or was it Belgian) wine!

Gordon! The Belgans make the beer and the French make the best wine in the world and it comes from the Languadoc! Oh dear, I do wonder some times? #-o #-o #-o #-o

As for you Mick! I really do wish that you would concentrate! The number of blades fo grass might just have been mentioned in the text? That is, if you deduct the number that you have obviously been smoking as you read said text :( :( :( :( :(
 
Jonzjob":29cs0iyy said:
gus3049":29cs0iyy said:
Must be the French (or was it Belgian) wine!

Gordon! The Belgans make the beer and the French make the best wine in the world and it comes from the Languadoc! Oh dear, I do wonder some times? #-o #-o #-o #-o

As for you Mick! I really do wish that you would concentrate! The number of blades fo grass might just have been mentioned in the text? That is, if you deduct the number that you have obviously been smoking as you read said text :( :( :( :( :(
Oh God - look, I just drink the stuff. If its red and liquid it seems to slip down OK no matter what bottle it comes in or what it says on the label.

NOW that is. In previous incarnations I have been a real ale drinker, a wine snob and various other variations on a theme.

Oh and the best wine is made in Italy - heresy huh!!!! Only the Barolo though, everything else is expensive vinegar.
 
gus3049":ajzy8b86 said:
Oh God - look, I just drink the stuff. If its red and liquid it seems to slip down OK no matter what bottle it comes in.
.

Aye aye vampire alert - just off to the workshop to carve a nice stake
 
big soft moose":ac88iw9d said:
gus3049":ac88iw9d said:
Oh God - look, I just drink the stuff. If its red and liquid it seems to slip down OK no matter what bottle it comes in.
.

Aye aye vampire alert - just off to the workshop to carve a nice stake
Ho Ho =D> ,

Must stop eating all this damn garlic the wife keeps growing. Wondered why I've been feeling a bit peaky lately.
 
Gawd blimey! I ain't not 'ad no raw gralik since le déjeuner aujourd'hui. Reet good for yer heart too!

Gordon! You missed out the MOST important bit didn yer! It's alkofrolique, happy juice, heavy falling over water, milk of amnesia (I forget how to spell that?) and I am unfortunate enough to have to live in the biggest vinyard in the whole World!

It's utter hell, but someone has to do it :---) :---) :---) :---) he he he he he!
 
big soft moose":d2cthqep said:
gus3049":d2cthqep said:
Oh God - look, I just drink the stuff. If its red and liquid it seems to slip down OK no matter what bottle it comes in.
.

Aye aye vampire alert - just off to the workshop to carve a nice stake
Did making the stake create any chips? You could wash it all down with some er.........
 
Jonzjob":2cdwamjp said:
Are we talking French fries here??? If so then definately the red stuff!
Actually, some of the best chips I ever had was in Belgium!! Washed down with some of those bottles they do so well!!
 
gus3049":3ba0dk9c said:
Jonzjob":3ba0dk9c said:
Are we talking French fries here??? If so then definately the red stuff!
Actually, some of the best chips I ever had was in Belgium!! Washed down with some of those bottles they do so well!!


ketchup ?
 
big soft moose":7afulk39 said:
gus3049":7afulk39 said:
Jonzjob":7afulk39 said:
Are we talking French fries here??? If so then definately the red stuff!
Actually, some of the best chips I ever had was in Belgium!! Washed down with some of those bottles they do so well!!


ketchup ?
Oh for goodness sake.

The Belgians think they are northern French. Their food is surprisingly good. At the time I travelled there at least, the abomination that is 'ketchup' had yet to arrive from the devil's land. Chips taste of potato, or should at least. The odd sprinkle of light herb, salt or a touch of mustard is acceptable but if I wanted to eat tomato I would eat those sort of round red things that my wife grows in the greenhouse.

So, it was the beer and bloody strong stuff too. One or four of those and even ketchup probably tastes good.

Retro me satanus.
 
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