Need to escape/reset

[Bingy man]

Have been trying to contact CA but it's harder than contacting the GP, my local centre requires an appointment to get in so can't just turn up.

I've already decided that I'm not staying here, however it's not that simple, we need a lot of money to make that happen plus the need for a job to walk into straight away, we need thousands in order to have somewhere to move into, cover the actual cost of the move and have a safety net, the council have said we would at best be put in temp accommodation and would not be able to have our dogs with us, I'm not giving the dogs up for anything.

A absolute nightmare for anyone to cope with let alone what you have already been through and certainly not one I’d want to be in ..I understand the cost implications also and although I don’t have dogs nobody should have to give up their pets. So I guess it comes back to that inspection and passing it to give you the time to plan ahead. Sad thing is without kids your local council will only offer you a 1 bedroom flat at best maybe a2 bed.. I feel for you and partner but I imagine you will be forced to take the private rent route and im guessing that’s where the £1,000.s come into play. Keep ya spirits up fella and as said before keep posting. Not sure how much this thread is helping you but at least your facing your situation head on and not just bottling everything up like I did ..

 

[Phill05]

Stig, I know you are getting a lot of good advise from the guys here but a word of caution, this is an open forum it might be late advise but be careful what you say you don't know who is reading this from the school, contractors, parents, it could even get back to V.

 

[MorrisWoodman12]

@Stigmorgan I think you mentioned in another thread that the dreaded inspection was yesterday. I hope it went well and the inspectors were appreciative of the efforts you and V have made.

 

[Bingy man]

Hi @Stigmorgan - also wondering and hoping it all went in your favour. Good or bad you have a lot of support here so drop us a post .

 

[Stigmorgan]

Thanks guys,, the inspection was this morning but it feels like it started last week, V was asked by the family she PAs for if she would go to Butluns with them, we can't afford to turn down work like that so she left Thursday morning and didn't get back until this afternoon but only for long enough to grab a change of clothes to go dog/house sitting for a few days so it's been full on for me since Thursday, work 7 till 1 then home to carry on packing stuff into plastic storage tubs so that at the very least the rooms will look better than everything being in random boxes and bags, Friday was the same again, I think both days I didn't get to bed until after midnight, Saturday and Sunday in the mornings I crammed as much as I could out in the tent I put a few weeks ago then as you saw in my other post I spent the afternoons from around 12 until 18.30 ish out cleaning and reorganising the garage , had hoped to do more out there yesterday (monday) after work but we smelt gass by the corner of one of the buildings so had to call SGN to come out, they arrived within an hour but only 30 minutes before I was due to finish work, his machine detected gas coming up from between some paving slabs so shut off all gas appliances on site and carried out a pressure test at the meter and detected a considerable leak so he disconnected the supply and capped it off, he then had to get a team out to excavate the ground so built up gas can vent, they stayed until no more gas was detected, this all went on until about 4pm, I now have a hole by one of the buildings and a leak the academy is responsible for getting fixed properly before the gas can be reconnected to site.
Soooo that brings us to this morning, the estates manager, her assistant (the one that made the complaint about me swearing the day after telling me to .... off) and the operations manager all arrived on site, feeling somewhat outnumbered again I pointed out that 3 against one is not fair and it does not require all 3 of them to look in to see what's changed, the assistant had to go wait in school, the estates and operations managers came in, made a few comments I didn't listen to and then had the gall to ask if we have actually cleared stuff out or if it's just been moved out for the inspection to which I replied that was none of her business, we then went out to the garage where they said well done for removing the flammable shavings and old dust to which I asked if I should also remove both my motorcycles seeing as the petrol in them is also flammable and they actually said that's something they will need to look into

 

[Blackswanwood]

I’m sympathetic to your situation @Stigmorgan but I think the question they’ve asked about whether it’s a permanent fix is a fair one. Moving stuff into storage in a tent doesn’t sound like a permanent solution and arguably isn’t something a reasonable landlord would expect to be happening.

Sorry if that sounds harsh but it’s perhaps worth trying to consider how your employer views the situation.

 

[Bingy man]

I think it’s qudos for what they have both achieved so far . Given how bad the situation was at the start of this thread . Im not saying the employer/- landlord shouldn’t expect the property to be kept to a decent standard but hoarding is not something anyone sets out to achieve it can fester away until it’s too late . This inspection has at least highlighted the problem and credit should be given for the progress so far . The employer has a duty of care and should not be putting @Stigmorgan under additional pressure especially as he has limited time available to clear the garage and house..

 

[paulrbarnard]

made a few comments I didn't listen to and then had the gall to ask if we have actually cleared stuff out or if it's just been moved out for the inspection to which I replied that was none of her business, we then went out to the garage where they said well done for removing the flammable shavings and old dust to which I asked if I should also remove both my motorcycles seeing as the petrol in them is also flammable and they actually said that's something they will need to look into

Stig a bit of advice which you are able to take or disregard. This paragraph comes across a bit antagonistic. For my part I have always found it better to take the moral high ground and not be snippy in situations like this. They are inspecting because there was a problem. You’re fixing the problem which they are acknowledging but you still felt the need to talk back. It’s like getting a parking ticket. There is no point in getting pissy with the traffic warden. It can only make things worse.

 

[Bingy man]

There is nothing easy about this situation and although it has to be done 3 people turning up en mass to carry out an inspection is enough to put anyone,s back up . Bear in mind this is his home and he was on his own it’s I think understandably an added pressure that would cause @Stigmorgan to react this way . @paulrbarnard i agree with not making the situation worse by for eg by being difficult or obstructive but a certain level of care and support should be given by his employer/ landlord in this situation. I was once inspected at work while I was with a customer. I was not told of the visit neither was the customer. My manager , my safety officer, and 2 other employees all turned up to check the work I was doing . Surprise surprise I made mistakes and got extremely frustrated and angry with all of them. They were very rude and obnoxious- they told the customer that the boiler was installed in the wrong location and due to its age she would have to replace it . She told them as b. gas fitted it she would gladly have a new boiler as long as they paid for it ..the customer threw them out in the end as even she could see they were nit picking to make themselves look good . My point here is both my customer and myself should of been advised of this inspection-not necessarily which job but at some point that day and who would be present and why ..so even though @Stigmorgan knew about the visit why on earth should 3 people turn up ( all waiting to score punches ) and try to justify their presence.
Re : should I remove the petrol from the motorcycles …err I,ll have to ask and get back to you . Every garage in the country will have dangerous, flammable, and toxic chemicals in their garage it’s a given . Why not go a stage further and remove the gas from the garage and the electricity. I’m all for health and safety but come on really? A little common sense is needed I thinks ..

 

[Yorkieguy]

I’m sympathetic to your situation @Stigmorgan but I think the question they’ve asked about whether it’s a permanent fix is a fair one. Moving stuff into storage in a tent doesn’t sound like a permanent solution and arguably isn’t something a reasonable landlord would expect to be happening.

Sorry if that sounds harsh but it’s perhaps worth trying to consider how your employer views the situation.

Sympathetic as I am to Stig's predicament, I have to say that I concur with that view. The really quite serious hoarding problem is not of his making, but it's his tenancy and his job that's on the line, and only he can resolve the difficulties.

The letter of 11 April from the employer wasn't combative, belligerent or threatening. It clearly detailed in what respect the state of the premises fell well short of the requirements of the tenancy agreement, what action was expected, and over a reasonable time frame. It stated that another inspection would be carried out by 31 July, at which time they must be able to access every room, and expect that all rooms would be fully cleared within six months, when they will carry out their final inspection.

A few snippets from Stig’s posts:

21 May:

“We had managed to sort quite a lot of stuff and cleared everything from the hallway, the living room, kitchen and bathroom were spotless, but the 3 bedrooms were not accessible”.

That outlines the scale of the problem.

8 June:

“I got her big 5-berth tent out of the garage and set it up in the garden, then started moving the contents of one room into the tent”.

Might a skip have been better and a tent?

21 July:

“Inspection is on the 30th so only 8 days left, the 2 spare rooms are now accessible enough to get to the plug sockets. The bedroom on the other hand is an entirely different story, hopefully we will get it better than it is, I did set up a tent a few weeks ago outside the back door. I used up some old pallets to make a quick and dirty bench thing so some stuff can be up off the floor. We will cram as much as possible into it for the inspection”.

‘Accessible enough to get to the plug sockets’ doesn’t come close to being ‘fully cleared’.

30 July:

“Then home to carry on packing stuff into plastic storage tubs so that at the very least the rooms will look better than everything being in random boxes and bags, Friday was the same again, I think both days I didn't get to bed until after midnight, Saturday and Sunday in the mornings I crammed as much as I could out in the tent that I put a few weeks ago”

“The estates and operations managers came in, made a few comments I didn't listen to [why not?] and then had the gall to ask if we have actually cleared stuff out or if it's just been moved out for the inspection to which I replied “that was none of her business”.

But on Stig's own admission, that is exactly what he's done, in a 5-berth tent, and it so clearly is their business.

Is it a realistic expectation that the tent can remain there for any length of time?

24 July:

“I've already decided that I'm not staying here, however it's not that simple, we need a lot of money to make that happen plus the need for a job to walk into straight away, we need thousands in order to have somewhere to move into, cover the actual cost of the move and have a safety net. "the council have said we would at best be put in temp accommodation and would not be able to have our dogs with us, I'm not giving the dogs up for anything”.

And of course you’d have to get rid of all the stuff that is at the centre of the problems and is the source of all the anguish.

Your employer has stated that if you fail to comply with your tenancy agreement it could be terminated. Bear in mind that a local authority may consider someone ‘intentionally homeless’ if they lose their tenancy due to a failure to comply with the tenancy agreement.

On any rational level would it not make more sense to fully comply with good grace within the last few weeks, get rid of that humongous tent and all the clutter, rebuild your relationship with your employer in a non-adversarial way, turn a page, and secure your job and tenancy? That would give you some stability, peace of mind and ‘breathing space’ if you do want to seek alternative employment and accommodation. As things stand, this intractable problem, not of your making, is intruding into every corner of your life.

I wish you well.

 

[Bingy man]

You’re not wrong in your summary edit. @Yorkieguy of this situation but and imho it’s a massive but !! Are his employers aware of the reasons this situation has developed and how much it’s affected @Stigmorgan . So much so that his partner is not aware of this thread and I suspect that he has not informed his employer of the true reasons for the hoarding. At the start of this thread he was advised by several including a trained professional in mental health to go to his gp and of course his partner to get help and support and maybe medication to address the core issues. I don’t think this has happened but as I’ve said before you can’t force someone to go and open up to a professional about your problems- you have to accept the problem and then accept the help offered freely and not due to force or ultimatums of any kind . I’m sure his employers would act sympathetically if they were fully aware of the situation under the duty of care . I’m no expert on these matters jyst someone who has and still is going through similar issues. I chose to not only accept I needed help ( not easy for a big 6.2” male that has never needed help as I’ve always done things for myself) but to fully explain to my employer and my gp and the healthcare professionals because I wanted that help for myself and my son . It’s not easy to understand this unless you have had a similar experience. I can only hope that @Stigmorgan + partner will do the same but it’s up to them . Sorry if this offends stig but your employer can’t help if they don’t know all the facts and they will just see it as @Yorkieguy says and just look at the tenancy agreement and that you have not complied . I do believe if you and v were to call a meeting with your manager etc and talk openly they would take a different approach and maybe offer you both some solutions but again ( big but ) they too will ask you to speak to your gp and would take the view if you don’t that you are not doing anything to help the situation… as always take care and I wish you both well ..

 

[Stigmorgan]

There's a lot to consider there, I won't unpack it all but I will say, my employer is fully aware of everything, I'm not an overly private person and will discuss anything people want to know to the point I sometimes overshare and have to slow myself down and remind myself people dont generally need to know so much, pretty much the complete opposite of V.

 

[Bingy man]

There's a lot to consider there, I won't unpack it all but I will say, my employer is fully aware of everything, I'm not an overly private person and will discuss anything people want to know to the point I sometimes overshare and have to slow myself down and remind myself people dont generally need to know so much, pretty much the complete opposite of V.

It’s good to hear this but a real shame your partner is the polar opposite which makes your situation even harder to deal with- I hope your employer is mindful of what you have both achieved thus far .there is no magic formula for this and often tiny baby steps is as much as you can accept..

 

[Stigmorgan]

It’s good to hear this but a real shame your partner is the polar opposite which makes your situation even harder to deal with- I hope your employer is mindful of what you have both achieved thus far .there is no magic formula for this and often tiny baby steps is as much as you can accept..

I've not heard anything since the inspection, there should be a covering letter to come but I'm feeling there's nothing to be concerned about, im not going to push it though. At the minute I'm so busy enjoying myself in overseeing the newbuild, the refurbishment and carrying out my normal work that I'm not really worried about anything else for now, plus being allowed to create my own jungle within the staffroom at my new deskspace is keeping me very sane