Language, phonetics, pronunciation and etymology.

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Whatever language they speak you always recognize the melody.
In 1940 a Professor Chase wanted to show his students that "the melody of a language - is an integral part of its meaning" so he 'translated' - I say that advisedly - a well known fairy tale. From his version can anyone name the tale?

(This is just the start)
Wants pawn term, dare worsted ladle gull hoe lift wetter murder inner ladle cordage, honor itch offer lodge dock florist. Disk ladle gull orphan worry ladle cluck wetter putty ladle rat hut, an fur disk raisin pimple colder Ladle Rat Rotten Hut. Wan moaning, Rat Rotten Hut's murder colder inset, "Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, heresy ladle basking winsome burden barter an shirker cockles. Tick disk ladle basking tutor cordage offer groin-murder hoe lifts honor udder site offer florist. Shaker lake! Dun stopper laundry wrote! An yonder nor sorghum-stenches, dun stopper torque wet strainers!" "Hoe-cake, murder,"
 
Little Red Riding Yam-Yam.

My brother used to bang on that spelling should be phonetic, but the problem is, phonetic for who?

While we’re at it, we don’t need the word ‘whom’. English is a non-inflected language where word order determines subject/object, not word ending, as in inflected languages like Latin. Insisting on pointless things like that gives pedants a bad name :p
 
Whatever happened to con-trib-ute?
 
That depends upon to whom you're speaking. :)
That’s another rule that could be discarded - never end a sentence with a preposition. I think Bill Bryson traced it back to a particular book, ie one man’s opinion. The problem is, you have to mangle the sentence to comply with it.

‘What are you referring to?’ Is a perfectly clear and natural construction.
‘To what are you referring?’ Sounds like Yoda-speak.
 
Spelling is a difficult one. But there are a few that can be changed easily to make English spellling more regular.

The letter c is mostly useless, and kan be replased by k or s in most surkumstansis like this sentens whilst you listen to musik with your kat.

.That meens ch kan bi repleisd by c, so wen yu sit on yor cair you kan cat on the fon.
 
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I think we should instead adopt accents to indicate when letters have an unusual pronunciation, and to make typing much harder and more ĉòmpĻļĩċäŧèđ.

Especially if we use each accent differently from other accented languages.
 
Spelling is a difficult one. But there are a few that can be changed easily to make English spellling more regular.

The letter c is mostly useless, and kan be replased by k or s in most surkumstansis like this sentens whilst you listen to musik with your kat.

.That meens ch kan bi repleisd by c, so wen yu sit on yor cair you kan cat on the fon.
Then we'd have hold our drills in a cuk
 
Back in the 1980’s I taught computer programming. I had a young Scottish boy in a class and we could not understand each other at all. My West Country accent lost him completely and his Scottish accent might as well have been Martian. The thing I found funny about it is that we simply communicated via writing on a pad and we both understood that just fine. How is it that the same written language can be rendered unintelligible by a persons accent.
A very good argument for learning different languages!? During my schooldays we had English, German, French, New Norwegian (Peasant Norwegian) and Old Norse as compulsory subjects. It has resulted in the ability to understand dialects and other languages much better, and also gave the courage to ask people to repeat or rephrase what you don't understand. But if you think you know German, try to understand the conversation in the charming movie 'Go Trabi, Go'. Sadly I never learned Mandarin,which would have been great as it will become prominent also in the Western world.
 
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