Joke thread

[strat]

Before I met my wife, I was incomplete

Now I'm finished

 

[strat]

A sperm donor, a carpenter and Julius Caesar Walked into a bar.

He came, he saw, he conquered.

 

[TRITON]

You can kiss a Nun but don't get into the habit.

Why are Nuns called Nuns.

The get Nun.

 

[user 38384]

 

[Linus]

 

[TomW]

Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One says to the other 'can you smell a fish?'

 

[mikej460]

Two circus lions were eating a clown when one says to the other 'does this taste funny to you?'

 

[kinverkid]

 

[Doug B]

 

[Linus]

 

[SamG340]

 

[1steven]

 

[Ozi]

Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One says to the other 'can you smell a fish?'

One snowman to another "Can you smell carrots"

 

[Doug B]

 

[flying haggis]

 

[SamG340]

 

[stuart little]

Who are the Flintstones????

You're as bad as me!

This one?

Indicators....Die Blinkenleiten Tickentocken

Bonnet......Pullnob und Knucklechopper

Exhaust Pipe.... Spitzenpoppenbangentuben

Speedometer..... Der Egobooster und Linenshooter

Clutch...... Die Kuplink mit schlippen und schaken

Puncture........Die Phlatt mit bludyphucken

Parking meter........... Der Tennerpinscher und klockenwerr

Windscreen Wiper .... Der Flippenflappenmuchenschpredder

Foot Brake............ Der Edbangeronvindschreen Stoppenkwik

Gear Lever......... Biggensticken fur kangaroochoppen

Breathalyser...........Die Puffinintem fur pistenarsen

Rear View Mirror......... Der Yokhunter Tecklosen

Seat Belt........... Der Klunkenklikker Fraulinestopper

Headlights........... Der Dippendontdazzelubastad

Exhaust Fumes............... Der Koffenundschpittpoluter

Traffic Jam.....Die Bluddifukkink Dammundblast

Rear Seat...........Der Schpringentester

Tyres.........Flattfahrts

Backfire.......Der Lowdenbangenmekkejumpen

Juggernaut........ Der Phukkengrett Trukken

Accident..... Der Bledinmess

Near Accident.............. Der Fukken Near Schittenselfen

Garage.......Der Heiway Robberung

Cyclist...........Der Pedallpushink Pilloken

Skid........Der Banannan Waltzen

Double White Lines........Overtaken und Krunchen

Here's a bit of Spanish:-
Si senora derdeygo, fortez lorez inarow
Demaint lorez, derar trux
Fulof ensa cowsan dux.

 

[user 38384]

You're as bad as me!

Here's a bit of Spanish:-
Si senora derdeygo, fortez lorez inarow
Demaint lorez, derar trux
Fulof ensa cowsan dux.

Qué

 

[loftyhermes]

You're as bad as me!

Here's a bit of Spanish:-
Si senora derdeygo, fortez lorez inarow
Demaint lorez, derar trux
Fulof ensa cowsan dux.

It's a long time since I've come across that one, I first knew of it over 30 years ago.

 

[Recky33]

The dog ran off last night, I walked round the park calling his name for 20 mins & still couldn't find him, The wife said I should look harder, so I shaved my head and got a tatoo, still can't find the sod