I only came in looking for the latest rib tickling joke, only to find a language discussion going on 
Joke thread
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Looked it up ad discovered that Sassenach is Gaelic for Saxon which is interesting as I always thought it meant Englishman or tosser...and not the caber kind
Phil Pascoe
Established Member
Sawsnek.
Sorry Triton my fault mixed up my angel with my angle But dont they go off joke topic easy hereI only came in looking for the latest rib tickling joke, only to find a language discussion going on
Robbo3
Established Member
Physics Exam
This legend, the truth of which is not necessarily related to its value, concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen: "Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."
One student replied: "Tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building."
This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed immediately.
He appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics.
To resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics.
For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn't make up his mind which to use.
On being advised to hurry up the student replied as follows:
"Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out from the formula H = 0.5g x t squared. But bad luck on the barometer.
"Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow. Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter it is simple matter of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper.
"But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring force T = 2 pi sq root(l / g).
"Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in barometer lengths, then add them up.
"If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course, you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in millibars into feet to give the height of the building.
"But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to knock on the janitor's door and say to him 'If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if you tell me the height of this building'."
The student was Niels Bohr, the only Dane to win the Nobel prize for Physics.
This legend, the truth of which is not necessarily related to its value, concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen: "Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."
One student replied: "Tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building."
This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed immediately.
He appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics.
To resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics.
For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn't make up his mind which to use.
On being advised to hurry up the student replied as follows:
"Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out from the formula H = 0.5g x t squared. But bad luck on the barometer.
"Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow. Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter it is simple matter of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper.
"But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring force T = 2 pi sq root(l / g).
"Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in barometer lengths, then add them up.
"If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course, you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in millibars into feet to give the height of the building.
"But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to knock on the janitor's door and say to him 'If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if you tell me the height of this building'."
The student was Niels Bohr, the only Dane to win the Nobel prize for Physics.
On the subject of words and translation, I spent about 18 months commuting weekly to a customer in Hamburg back in the 90's. I got really friendly with many of the engineers at the factory where I was working and they loved to practice their English. They also had great humour, which is a surprise given the stereotypical image that Germans portray.
Anyway, what really creased me up over and over again (and them too once they understood) is how obscure things were translated from German to English. German has lots of literal words to describe everything rather than fewer words used or pronounced in different ways. So, as a few examples:
We were discussing gardening one day and one engineer was discussing the "flower onions" in his garden ..... or "bulbs" as we would call them.
Another day I was told that one chap was having his "dust pipe" cleaned at the weekend .... after a while I discovered that he was referring to his "chimney".
And in a difficult discussion at management level one day the manager said "I need to under break you". I looked in surprise while his subordinates were sniggering. "Unterbrechen" means interrupt.
And before going out for a session on the town one night an English colleague made a note of the road where his hotel was located. Several hours and several Mass of beer later he rolled into a taxi and slurred the name of the road "Einbahn Strasse bitte" .... or in English "One way street please". It took some time to find his hotel.
Anyway, what really creased me up over and over again (and them too once they understood) is how obscure things were translated from German to English. German has lots of literal words to describe everything rather than fewer words used or pronounced in different ways. So, as a few examples:
We were discussing gardening one day and one engineer was discussing the "flower onions" in his garden ..... or "bulbs" as we would call them.
Another day I was told that one chap was having his "dust pipe" cleaned at the weekend .... after a while I discovered that he was referring to his "chimney".
And in a difficult discussion at management level one day the manager said "I need to under break you". I looked in surprise while his subordinates were sniggering. "Unterbrechen" means interrupt.
And before going out for a session on the town one night an English colleague made a note of the road where his hotel was located. Several hours and several Mass of beer later he rolled into a taxi and slurred the name of the road "Einbahn Strasse bitte" .... or in English "One way street please". It took some time to find his hotel.
Jameshow
Established Member
It worked for me, what with being dyslexic.
My wife often says “voice of angel” to which I reply “angle grinder?”
Phil Pascoe
Established Member
Dyslexics lure, KO!
stuart little
Established Member
That sounds like slang. According to VW, their translation is; ;Wischerblatt'. It says so on the box!
Gary_S
Established Member
Except in Switer Dootch which isn't a written language. Hence my spelling of it
stuart little
Established Member
A skeletal hand holding a rusty old thingy! A lamp?
AES
Established Member
Except in Switer Dootch which isn't a written language. Hence my spelling of it
Suggest you look back a couple of pages in this thread Gary.
shed9
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It's a 'Daddy issue' thing......
user 38384
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I thought it was SCHEIBENWISCHER? Although it would be funnier if your version was correct.
joethedrummer
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best give her that card after she"s cooked dinner
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