Joke thread

[Recky33]

It got crowded in heaven so, for one day and one day only, it was decided to only accept people who had a really bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died." The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, which I died from." St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in. He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful, I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!" St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job. "Tell me about the day you died?” he said to the third man in line. "OK, picture this; I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator....

 

[Thingybob]

Angel Delight.

Birds angel delight desert

 

[niemeyjt]

Not to be confused with getting acute pleasure from an obtuse situation - angle delight

 

[Doug B]

Just booked a table for Valentine’s Day for me & the wife.
Probably end in tears as she’s hopeless at snooker.

 

[Phil Pascoe]

Not to be confused with getting acute pleasure from an obtuse situation - angle delight

Do you need quick reflexes for that?

 

[stuart little]

Angel Delight.

AHA, 'typo' strikes again!

 

[Thingybob]

Not to be confused with getting acute pleasure from an obtuse situation - angle delight

Correct

 

[Thingybob]

Going to start a thread "What did you misspell in a post" seems to stir the members into reacting ( at least it got my reaction score up ) HaHa

 

[Exluthier]

In much the same vein, you may be interested to learn that the pretty big permanent exhibition centre in Bern (the capital BTW) is called Wankdorf (really)! And "dorf" BTW, is usually either a bit of a dummy or just about any small village here.

The correct spelling of the word for a bit of a dummy is actually Dof, and not `Dorf’ ...

 

[Linus]

I can do lateral thinking too!

 

[Linus]

....and for those who don't get it......

 

[AES]

The correct spelling of the word for a bit of a dummy is actually Dof, and not `Dorf’ ...

Don't agree, sorry. Schwiezer Deutsch ("Dootsch"!) is not a written language, and dependant on whereabouts you are (Kanton or even town/village), a "dorfi" can be written in several ways. It's really only a slang term anyway, and as such, there's no "correct spelling" for the word when used in the "dummy" context. But I do agree, it can often be "Dof" (not to mention "Doof" too).

And come to think about it, a fairly common, (though old now I think) English slang expression for a bit of a dummy - AND sometimes for some sort of unknown apparatus - is "doofus".

 

[Trainee neophyte]

If we are on to amusing German words, "Einfahrt" and "Ausfahrt" have always entertained, (in fact any kind of fahrt at all) but my favourite has always been the German word for windscreen wipers: "shitenshiffter".

 

[niemeyjt]

Don't agree, sorry. Schwiezer Deutsch ("Dootsch"!) is not a written language, and dependant on whereabouts you are (Kanton or even town/village), a "dorfi" can be written in several ways. It's really only a slang term anyway, and as such, there's no "correct spelling" for the word when used in the "dummy" context. But I do agree, it can often be "Dof" (not to mention "Doof" too).

Perhaps some of the confusion is that Swiss German is not the same as German German - any more than Swiss French is the same as French French this side of the rostigraben.

But - can you say the Swiss German word for a kitchen cabinet like a real Swiss? (this was a wind-up of the German frontaliers in the Basel office).

 

[AES]

Perhaps some of the confusion is that Swiss German is not the same as German German - any more than Swiss French is the same as French French this side of the rostigraben.

But - can you say the Swiss German word for a kitchen cabinet like a real Swiss? (this was a wind-up of the German frontaliers in the Basel office).

Actually, my attempt at "Küchicastelli" is, I'm told, "not too bad" - for a Brit that is! (My wife, who's a "proper" Swiss BTW, taught me. BUT she was born in Kanton TG and grew up in Kanton ZR, so what she thinks is "proper" isn't what the Baseler Dootsch think is correct)!

And "Swiss German" is not the same as "German German" because, as said already, Swiss German isn't an actual language with "proper" written words, it's a dialect (or more properly, LOTS of dialects). AND, BTW, I THINK that "Röstigraben" is also not a "proper" word but a bit of local "N v S" or perhaps "E v W" slang.

But what's "Geordie" BTW? A language? It certainly has it's own words.

@Trainee neophyte: Yeah, I like "Dienstfahrt" (you see it on a lot of buses when they're on the way back to the depot or something). I've NEVER found out where that place "Dienst" is!

But I guess we should stop all this - for those not familiar it must be boring - like when my eyes glaze over when it comes to anything Frogish.

 

[Stan]

Correct

non angli sed angeli

 

[Terry - Somerset]

It came as something of a surprise to my good lady many years ago when driving through Europe to find there were so many towns and villages in France called "Rappel" (frequently fixed to a pole with a number below)

 

[Yojevol]

If we are on to amusing German words, "Einfahrt" and "Ausfahrt" have always entertained, (in fact any kind of fahrt at all) but my favourite has always been the German word for windscreen wipers: "shitenshiffter".

On our first camping holiday in Germany/Austria our daughters were noting the town names as we progressed down the autobahn. In all innocence they noted that the city of Ausfahrt was awfully big
Brian

 

[gcusick]

It came as something of a surprise to my good lady many years ago when driving through Europe to find there were so many towns and villages in France called "Rappel" (frequently fixed to a pole with a number below)

And there’s also that chain of Hotels de Ville, that seems to have branches absolu everywhere in France!

 

[John Brown]

non angli sed angeli

I already mentioned that....