Joke thread

[stuart little]

Two armed robbers go into a bank. Both are masked up and have sawn-off shotguns. One robber goes up to a cashier and points the shotgun at him. He looks at the cashier with surprise for a moment or two, and then calls out to his mate:

"Strewth John! This bloke could be your double!"

Memories of:- "Don't tell him your name, Pike!

 

[Yojevol]

And looking at their skis and footwear, it appears that velcro has been around a lot longer than I thought.

Helmets too. The ski poles look as though they'd be useful in lift queues.

 

[Trainee neophyte]

 

[Ozi]

View attachment 126543

Where's the curry sauce?

 

[Jameshow]

View attachment 126615

I must be too young..!

 

[Old.bodger]

I assume ….fez….pheasant

 

[J-G]

I assume ….fez….pheasant

...but the hat might be a Tarboosh - as worn by Tommy Cooper!

 

[Vann]

I assume ….fez….pheasant

No wonder I didn't get it - I thought that was a pigeon.

Cheers, Vann.

 

[Robbo3]

Roy Rogers is appearing in a rodeo in a little town in Texas miles from anywhere.

The night before the rodeo he puts a brand new pair of cowboy boots outside the door of his motel room to be polished. In the morning he opens the door and finds his boots have been badly clawed up and chewed by what appears to be a wild animal. Enraged, he organises a posse to hunt down the animal.

After a chase, the posse corners a cougar with boot polish on its face. They despatch the snarling animal and return to the waiting Roy at the hotel with the carcass.

The head of the posse holds up the carcass and says "Pardon me Roy - is this the cat that chewed your new shoes?"

 

[Woody2Shoes]

No wonder I didn't get it - I thought that was a pigeon.

Cheers, Vann.

I was too busy making up my own c#ck jokes to get it for a short while....

 

[dzj]

 

[Morty]

I've found a plumber who works round the clock

 

[Linus]

View attachment 126663

 

[Phil Pascoe]

His taste in reading material is rather odd.

 

[Blackswanwood]

 

[user 38384]

 

[stuart little]

View attachment 126663

 

[stuart little]

Silly Pheasant pluckers!

 

[Doug B]

 

[dzj]

A kind of absurd/ surreal humour.
Not that funny, anyway.