Joke thread

[flying haggis]

 

[Tim Nott]

An old man's son is in prison for robbery. The father writes to him saying how he doesn't know how he's going to dig over the potato patch without the son's help. The son writes back - don't dig the potato patch at all, as that's where I buried the money. The prison authorities read this letter and hand it over to the police. The police come to the old man's house and dig up the entire potato patch without finding any loot. The son writes to his dad - 'Best I could do from here'.

 

[Cozzer]

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in a microwave until its bill withers.

 

[Sachakins]

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in a microwave until its bill withers.

It's a quacker

 

[Thingybob]

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

Put it in a microwave until its bill withers.

Just like the jokes you used to get at the top the Dandy and Beano annuals 2 line groaners but a laugh i drove the family mad on christmas day repeating them when i were a lad

 

[TRITON]

I invented a new word today: Plagiarism.
----------
A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini.
The barman asks Dry ?
No says the German, just the one.
----------
Q. How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
A. A fish

 

[Blackswanwood]

n

 

[Cabinetman]

They’ve changed the label, this one is years old. Not saying anything else!

 

[MorrisWoodman12]

They’ve changed the label, this one is years old. Not saying anything else!
View attachment 124719

Do you mind? My wife has just dissolved into fits of giggles.

 

[Linus]

They’ve changed the label, this one is years old. Not saying anything else!
View attachment 124719

Oh no it isn't

 

[llangatwgnedd]

(img)

 

[flying haggis]

 

[Blackswanwood]

 

[John Brown]

View attachment 124760

Amen to that!

 

[Noel]

DM Dec 2000:

 

[Serendipity Gunge]

What do you think of this from one of the Bad Impressionists?

 

[flying haggis]

 

[stuart little]

I invented a new word today: Plagiarism.
----------
A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini.
The barman asks Dry ?
No says the German, just the one.
----------
Q. How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?
A. A fish

That actually happened to me in S.Tyrol, I asked for a dry martini & the barman put 3 glasses on the bar - "Nein,nein, eine sec martini I said!" Thebarman got his languages mixed, not I.

 

[stuart little]

The instructions for the ship I'm building, said to put a rabett on the keel.

 

[Jameshow]

Nice!!

What ship is that? Static or R/C?

Cheers James