The new Sales Director stood up at the board meeting.
"Ladies and gents...you're well aware that this is the start of our annual advertising campaign, and to bring things up to date, I decided we should have a TV campaign..."
Murmurs of approval from the other board members, with lots of nodding from people who'd done absolutely nothing but take dividends, year after year.
"To that end", continued the Sales boy,"if you care to watch the TV over there, I shall shortly play you the very latest Corbyn Clout Nails and Fixings Ltd. commercial..."
"But how much did it cost?" asked one old boy, no doubt thinking of his annual divi.
"Granted, a lot," answered the SD, "in fact, an awful lot of money. We got some soap stars involved, and they don't come cheap. The best director too - we had to virtually drag him off a film set to get involved! We've also paid extra for the prime-time TV slots - half time through Coronation Street! Peak viewing! None of this comes cheap! In truth, I've also blown next year's budget as well..."
At this, even the MD stirred from his normal board meeting slumber...
The SD pressed a button on his remote, and the TV burst into life.
Stirring music, a wide panoramic vista. The camera slowly zoomed in on what appeared to be....a crucifixion on a distant hillside? The camera kept on zooming...
Dark clouds appeared behind the cross, before a bolt of light illuminated a man's crucified hand, with the camera zooming in close enough to focus on the nail head..."Corbyn's Clout Nails and Fixings Ltd" embossed around the outer edge.
A voice over repeated the company name, as the music finally tailed away.
A momentary shocked silence was broken by the MD...
"Nay, nay, lad! You'll get us all bloody lynched! There'll be riots on the streets! God almighty! No, no, no! This can't go out! It'd finish us!"
The board meeting descended into absolute chaos, with fellow directors baying for the SD's dismissal - at the very least. The two lady members were so shocked, they had to be treated with smelling salts in order to "come round".
The SD, realising he'd gone too far, was now fighting for his position, and promised everyone there that the ad would be altered.
"Meet here in a week's time, and I'll be able to show you the new version!" he promised.
A week past, and the same motley crew were again seated in the board room. The air was tense. The SD rose...
"Here's the new ad. I realise I overstepped the sensibilities of some - if not all - here last week, so I have rewritten the campaign in order to put our company in a better, and far more positive, light."
It was squeaky-bum time as the SD pressed his remote.
Stirring music, a wide panoramic vista. The camera slowly zoomed in on what appeared to be....a crucifixion on a distant hillside.
An audible groan went around the board room. It appeared to be exactly the same as before! Nervous tension got to one member, who failed to stop breaking wind. It was actually one of the ladies - that's how tense the atmosphere was....
Dark clouds appeared behind the cross, before a bolt of light illuminated a man's crucified hand, with the camera zooming in close enough to focus on the nail head...but this time, it was blank. They then saw the executed man's head appear, stretching to reach the nail with his teeth, slowly gripping it, pulling it out before spitting it away. He did the same on the other hand, leapt down from his position before doing a runner across the hillside.
"Wait for it! Wait for it!" shouted the Sales Director excitedly.
The camera focussed on two centurions standing beside the cross.
One looked at the other and said, "That wouldn't have happened if they'd used Corbyn's Clout Nails and Fixings...."
