Joke thread

[Droogs]

I'd perhaps tentitively suggest glass slippers but you never know

 

[Stan]

@Stan , is that Capt Manwarring as your avatar, if so

Don't tell them your name Droogs!

 

[paulrbarnard]

On the other hand, joke #190 was a good example of an apparently
examplary correct (& woke), joke, which did remain funny. I'm not going
to give away the answer, though.

It was blatant speciesism. I’m offend on behalf of zebras everywhere.

 

[Daniel2]

I'd perhaps tentitively suggest glass slippers but you never know

Sorry, but no can do.
We would lose the leather aspect. (No offence intended towards vegans).

 

[Linus]

Aaarrgh ....
Nuts, I hadn't thought of that possibility.
How we tie ourselves up in knots.
Transparent shoes then, perhaps ?

No, that would offend people of colour!

 

[Blackswanwood]

Apologies in advance to any hippopotamuses or people on diets who may be offended but ...

 

[Daniel2]

No, that would offend people of colour!

Well, what started out as an apparently harmless joke, has demonstrated itself to
be anything but. Shame on you @Trainee neophyte
The pressure's on to find any completely inoffensive jokes, which can stand up to
scrutiny by this board.

 

[Adam W.]

Sure, whatever you like, but I am allowed to point it out if I think its out of order.

And I will.

 

[Droogs]

Here is my offering.

A cysgender member of the mamalian grouping "The Great Apes" of the genus **** of the sub group Sapiens Sapiens, walks into a bar and says "Ah ya fekker, that hurt"

 

[selectortone]

Oh, good grief, there's a perfectly good thread elsewhere in this forum for complaining about this one.

 

[Droogs]

yeah but if we posted over there they might get offended

 

[Adam W.]

Oh, good grief, isn't one thread complaining about this one enough?

I'm not complaining, I'm making a point.

I'm deaf and deaf jokes just ain't funny especially from people who just don't have a clue.

 

[smugdruggler]

There was a sketch on the show "Not the nine o'clock news" featuring Rowan Atkinson who played a deaf guy that was given a head band with a light suspended in front of his eyes. It was linked to his desk telephone and when the phone rang the bulb on his headset would light up letting him know that someone was calling. Of course when he picked up the handset he could not hear the caller.

This was not a joke aimed at deaf people but at the useless invention.
I found the sketch hilarious but I would never take the P out of the hearing impaired. My wife is hearing impaired and she laughed like a drain at the sketch.

 

[loftyhermes]

 

[paulrbarnard]

Here is my offering.

A cysgender member of the mamalian grouping "The Great Apes" of the genus **** of the sub group Sapiens Sapiens, walks into a bar and says "Ah ya fekker, that hurt"

So your are saying other apes are inferior?

 

[doctor Bob]

Apologies in advance to any hippopotamuses or people on diets who may be offended but ...

View attachment 110547

I'm offended that you think it's acceptable to post nude pictures of my wife on an internet forum, who are you and how did you get these pictures?

 

[Phil Pascoe]

 

[Dave Brookes]

Having recently had a total shoulder joint replaced, I don’t care who changes the bulb because I can’t

 

[dzj]

 

[flying haggis]

BREAKING:

Prime Minister Boris Johnson has announced that due to the new Indian covid variant people will now be offered the Pun ***

Please start taking this Indian Covid variant seriously, my neighbour caught it and has been in a korma for a week and he had only just buried his naan.

Some chapati I know has it, symptoms include feeling chilli so if in any doubt dhal 999.