Every afternoon about 1.30
Joke thread
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flying haggis
Established Member
Doug B
Shy Tot
My 'phone rang the other night and a man's voice said,
"I'm the dandy highwayman who you're too scared to mention, I spend my cash on looking flash and grabbing your attention!"
I tried to tell him he had the wrong number, but he was adamant.
"I'm the dandy highwayman who you're too scared to mention, I spend my cash on looking flash and grabbing your attention!"
I tried to tell him he had the wrong number, but he was adamant.
Please, please, please moderators - a groan emoji!!!!!
RobinBHM
Established Member
"I keep randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' - I think I might have florets"
Adam W.
A Major Clanger
RobinBHM
Established Member
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Blackswanwood
Still Learning
RobinBHM
Established Member
Yes I realise it certainly is, I certainly don't mean to offend anyone, the joke was not about Tourette's but the play on words.
Adam W.
A Major Clanger
I realise that and I wasn't offended, but some people who have a relative or close friend with Tourettes might be.
It's the same with the deaf jokes, it's just so easy to take the pi$$ and it's so hard to defend yourself against that kind of humour if you have a disability.
I get really cheesed of about deaf jokes.
Just saying.
PhilTilson
Established Member
But isn't that the whole point of 'jokes'? They are usually plays on words that take a serious subject and make it humorous. Unless one is setting out to be objectionable, no offence is intended and none should be taken. Just look at some of the other jokes in this series: #189 might upset people who have had relatives die in a car crash; #183 might offend people with an alcohol problem; #180 could upset old people; #178 could offend people with mental illness. If you are going to avoid offending everyone, then you might as well forget making jokes! Surely, that's the whole point, as I said?
AJB Temple
Finely figured
These are jokes. Not serious. Presented in a single thread in a woodwork forum. Readily avoidable by the easily or professionally offended, by not reading the thread.
The drive for political correctness in absolutely everything is doomed to failure, but doesn't stop do gooders getting ever so wound up about their pet hate and then lecturing others about the sensitivities. No one cares.
The drive for political correctness in absolutely everything is doomed to failure, but doesn't stop do gooders getting ever so wound up about their pet hate and then lecturing others about the sensitivities. No one cares.
It is an odd thing, humor.
I remember that Aristocrats joke. Terrible and disgusting, but the comedian did manage
to get a laugh or two out of me. Not everyone's cup of tea, though.
#161 I think the shoes should have been red or green, etc. Just in case
someone might take it the wrong way.
As @PhilTilson quite rightly says, a joke usually points fun at someone.
People have just become far too sensitive and, it seems to me, almost
waiting and wanting to be offended.
Often, offence is not intended and so should not be taken.
On the other hand, joke #190 was a good example of an apparently
exemplary correct (& woke), joke, which did remain funny. I'm not going
to give away the answer, though.
someone might take it the wrong way.
As @PhilTilson quite rightly says, a joke usually points fun at someone.
People have just become far too sensitive and, it seems to me, almost
waiting and wanting to be offended.
Often, offence is not intended and so should not be taken.
On the other hand, joke #190 was a good example of an apparently
exemplary correct (& woke), joke, which did remain funny. I'm not going
to give away the answer, though.
Last edited:
Droogs
Not the Sharpest Moderator in the box
The basis of all humour has three foundation stones and every joke is founded on at least one of them:
The misfortune of others and the relief that it is not yours
The credulity of others and the self belief that it wouldn't happen to you
The universal acceptance of societal mores and decorum and the the initial shock when they are broken/challenged and the relief that they haven't really been broken.
The complaint, at the start of this thread as about all of them all being used and so to me I'd say the OP has no sense of humour. My better half is a professional storyteller and stand up comdediene, the amount of times I've had to endure having how humour works explained is uncountable. I am, apparently, not funny just a sarcastic drinks server with the maturity of a 9 year old
Who'dda thunk it
The misfortune of others and the relief that it is not yours
The credulity of others and the self belief that it wouldn't happen to you
The universal acceptance of societal mores and decorum and the the initial shock when they are broken/challenged and the relief that they haven't really been broken.
The complaint, at the start of this thread as about all of them all being used and so to me I'd say the OP has no sense of humour. My better half is a professional storyteller and stand up comdediene, the amount of times I've had to endure having how humour works explained is uncountable. I am, apparently, not funny just a sarcastic drinks server with the maturity of a 9 year old
Who'dda thunk it
Droogs
Not the Sharpest Moderator in the box
#161 I think the shoes should have been red or green, etc. Just in case
someone might take it the wrong way.
As @PhilTilson quite rightly says, a joke usually points fun at someone.
People have just become far too sensitive and, it seems to me, almost
waiting and wanting to be offended.
But that would then discriminate and be anti woke for colour blind people like me
Agreed. Taking serious subjects and laughing about them cuts them down to size, reduces fear and such like, and makes those topics easier to deal with. It can also act as a mental form of self-defence.
Try working a few years in one of the emergency services, or serving in the military. After a while one of two things happens. Either you develop a "weapons-grade" sense of humour, or you go round the twist. If the first, the trick is to learn when you can allow your humour out like a pitbull on a lead, and when you can't.
Aaarrgh ....
Nuts, I hadn't thought of that possibility.
How we tie ourselves up in knots.
Transparent shoes then, perhaps ?
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