stuart little
Established Member
My dad used to bet on the 'hosses'.
So, I do know what a hoss is - is this where we get the name of :- 'hosler', 
Joke Thread III
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So, I do know what a hoss is - is this where we get the name of :- 'hosler', 
Doug B
Shy Tot
My dad used to bet on the 'hosses'.
In reality, it actually came from one of the Cartwright family in Bonanza.
Big Hoss
Jaco
Established Member
How does an attorney sleep?
First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other side.
I have a few jokes about unemployed people....
but none of them work.
How do you make holy water?
You take some water & boil the hell out of it.
Will glass coffins be a success?
Remains to be seen.
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm.
One asks, “what’s your favourite kind of music?”
The other says, “I'm a big metal fan”.
Heard about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu, you get what you deserve.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers yester-day…
but couldn't find any.
What do you call a bee that can’t quite make up its mind?
A maybe.
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.
I lost my case.
If and when everything is coming your way.....
you're in the wrong lane.
She had a photographic memory…
but never developed it.
Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today?
I don't know and don't really care.
I wasn’t originally going to get a brain trans-plant.....
but then I changed my mind.
Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population?
Ireland, of course, it’s Dublin everyday.
My ex-wife still misses me....
but her aim is starting to improve.
The guy who invented the door knocker got a.....
No-bell prize.
I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought....
“that’s the last thing i need !”
Need an ark???
I Noah guy.
I used to be indecisive.....
Now I'm not so sure.
Sleeping comes so naturally to me that......
I can do it with my eyes closed.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing. But, it let out a little whine.
What do you call a very articulate dinosaur with a good vocabulary?
A Thesaurus, of course.
Last, but not least,
What happens when you boil a funny bone?
You get a laughing stock
Enjoy your day
First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other side.
I have a few jokes about unemployed people....
but none of them work.
How do you make holy water?
You take some water & boil the hell out of it.
Will glass coffins be a success?
Remains to be seen.
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm.
One asks, “what’s your favourite kind of music?”
The other says, “I'm a big metal fan”.
Heard about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu, you get what you deserve.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers yester-day…
but couldn't find any.
What do you call a bee that can’t quite make up its mind?
A maybe.
I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage.
I lost my case.
If and when everything is coming your way.....
you're in the wrong lane.
She had a photographic memory…
but never developed it.
Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today?
I don't know and don't really care.
I wasn’t originally going to get a brain trans-plant.....
but then I changed my mind.
Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population?
Ireland, of course, it’s Dublin everyday.
My ex-wife still misses me....
but her aim is starting to improve.
The guy who invented the door knocker got a.....
No-bell prize.
I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought....
“that’s the last thing i need !”
Need an ark???
I Noah guy.
I used to be indecisive.....
Now I'm not so sure.
Sleeping comes so naturally to me that......
I can do it with my eyes closed.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
Nothing. But, it let out a little whine.
What do you call a very articulate dinosaur with a good vocabulary?
A Thesaurus, of course.
Last, but not least,
What happens when you boil a funny bone?
You get a laughing stock
Enjoy your day
bushwhaker
Established Member
A Bulgarian walks through the desert. An indescribable thirst began to torment him. He came to a stall where a Jew was selling ties.
- I am dying of thirst. Please, give me some water... - begged the Bulgarian
- I have no water, but you can buy a tie! - replied the Jew.
- I don't want ties, I need water! - whispered the Bulgarian.
- Well, you don't want a tie. But just so you can see that I'm human too, I'll tell you that there's a restaurant behind those dunes. They certainly have water there.
Two hours later, the Bulgarian returned, neither dead nor alive, crawling on all fours, tongue lolling out.
- "Why are you coming back?" asked the Jew.
- I found it, but your father said he wouldn't let me in without a tie...
- I am dying of thirst. Please, give me some water... - begged the Bulgarian
- I have no water, but you can buy a tie! - replied the Jew.
- I don't want ties, I need water! - whispered the Bulgarian.
- Well, you don't want a tie. But just so you can see that I'm human too, I'll tell you that there's a restaurant behind those dunes. They certainly have water there.
Two hours later, the Bulgarian returned, neither dead nor alive, crawling on all fours, tongue lolling out.
- "Why are you coming back?" asked the Jew.
- I found it, but your father said he wouldn't let me in without a tie...
How did you know he was a Bulgarian - there haven't been any in Yambol for years....
Doug B
Shy Tot
Doug B
Shy Tot
Junah
Established Member
woodhutt
Established Member
When I BBQ a steak, the smell makes my mouth water.
Do you think the same happens to Vegans when they mow the lawn?
Do you think the same happens to Vegans when they mow the lawn?
flying haggis
Established Member
When we moved house, the garage was overrun with mice.
The estate agent suggested spraying them with WD40.
It didn't get rid of them, but it stopped them squeaking...
The estate agent suggested spraying them with WD40.
It didn't get rid of them, but it stopped them squeaking...
Doug B
Shy Tot
Doug B
Shy Tot
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