woodhutt
Established Member
A demon approaches Satan in Hell and tells him they have two new arrivals, a pair of upper class Englishmen.
'Stick them in the cage over the molten lava and I'll deal with them later,' Satan instructs.
Later that day, he goes to see his new guests. They're sitting in the cage over the lava with their shirts off and singing dirty rugby songs. 'What Ho!' one of them shouts. 'What a wonderfully warm place you have. We're both agreed, if we'd known how so much better the weather was down here than back home in jolly old England, we'd have done a lot more sinning. Wouldn't we, Tarquin?' His friend nods agreement.
'Oh, so you like it hot, do you,' fumes Satan and flies off to where the thermostat is that controls the fiery furnaces and cranks the temperature up to maximum. It gets so hot, the rocks are melting and even the demons have to strip to the waist. Satan goes back later that day and is livid when he finds the two Englishmen have somehow procured a couple of sun loungers and some gin and tonic water and are basking in the heat.
Satan is beside himself and thinks, 'So you like the heat, do you? Well let's see how you get on with this.' He flies off and turns the thermostat down to zero.
Within a couple of hours, the pools of lava have solidified, the flames of Hell have turned to blocks of ice and the poor demons are shivering and huddling together for warmth. He goes back to check on the Englishmen and finds them cheering and waving flags of St. George. 'What's going on!?' he demands angrily.
'Can't you see?' the Englishmen shout happily. 'Hell's frozen over! England's won the World Cup!'
'Stick them in the cage over the molten lava and I'll deal with them later,' Satan instructs.
Later that day, he goes to see his new guests. They're sitting in the cage over the lava with their shirts off and singing dirty rugby songs. 'What Ho!' one of them shouts. 'What a wonderfully warm place you have. We're both agreed, if we'd known how so much better the weather was down here than back home in jolly old England, we'd have done a lot more sinning. Wouldn't we, Tarquin?' His friend nods agreement.
'Oh, so you like it hot, do you,' fumes Satan and flies off to where the thermostat is that controls the fiery furnaces and cranks the temperature up to maximum. It gets so hot, the rocks are melting and even the demons have to strip to the waist. Satan goes back later that day and is livid when he finds the two Englishmen have somehow procured a couple of sun loungers and some gin and tonic water and are basking in the heat.
Satan is beside himself and thinks, 'So you like the heat, do you? Well let's see how you get on with this.' He flies off and turns the thermostat down to zero.
Within a couple of hours, the pools of lava have solidified, the flames of Hell have turned to blocks of ice and the poor demons are shivering and huddling together for warmth. He goes back to check on the Englishmen and finds them cheering and waving flags of St. George. 'What's going on!?' he demands angrily.
'Can't you see?' the Englishmen shout happily. 'Hell's frozen over! England's won the World Cup!'
