A bloke walks into a pub and sits at the bar. He puts a travel bag on the bar top and asks the barman to be careful not to move it. 'Why, what's in it?' asks the barman.
The bloke opens the bag and takes out a miniature grand piano and places it on the bar top. The he holds open the bag and out steps a tiny chap, about a foot tall and looking very smart in tails. The little feller sits at the piano and proceeds to give a marvellous recital of Mozart.
The bartender is amazed and asks where he got him from and the man reaches into the bag again and pulled out an old brass lamp which he tells the barman he'd found washed up un the beach. 'Go on,' he says to the barman. 'Give it a rub.'
The barman rubs the lamp and a genie appears and offers to grant him a wish so the barman asks for a million bucks. The genie waves his hand and disappears in a puff of smoke back into the bottle. Minutes later, the door bursts open and a duck walks in, followed by another, then another. Soon the bar is filled with ducks.
'I think your genie is a bit deaf,' says the barman. 'I asked for a million bucks not ducks.'
'Of course he's flamin' deaf,' says the bloke. 'You don't think I asked for a twelve inch pianist, do you?'